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> a tribute to moi
Why do you like to be on cam?
I'll be totally frank with you. I love attention. I need it like tornados need trailerparks.
About this rumor about your sexual orientation... Is it true, what they say?
Let me put an end to this right now. There was some wild gossip flying around the office the other week. Despite the recent rumor that I was "that way," it is totally and completely untrue. I assure you -- I am totally and completely gay. Not heterosexual in the slightest!
Why do you like to sleep on cam?
It's completely comfortable and natural to me. Some people believe that they have guardian angels. I *know* that I have guardian viewers who watch over me as I sleep. Once I had a bad dream and somebody noticed and asked if I wanted to talk about it. Other people have noticed how often I fall asleep when I'm reading or studying. It's fun. And it's quality Jblend time.
I have a burning sensation when I urinate. What should I do, Jeffrey?
Stop injecting Tabasco sauce intravenously and consult a doctor immediately.
How long have you had the cam?
The cam has been in nearly continuous operation since August 10, 1999.
How do I set up a web cam?
Please don't ask me -- I'm not *that* much of a techie. I can do the beginner stuff, but that's all. Please don't ask me for advice. My technical, spiritual and menu advisor, Jim, set up the cam for me.
You look very intense and/or serious. Why?
When I'm concentrating on graphic design, I tend to be very intense. When I'm writing or editing, I usually look very serious. Some people ask if I'm stressed out -- I'm not. I'm probably just concentrating, which is a rare enough occurance that it contorts my face a little.
The image stream freezes after a while. What's up with that?
The system automatically cuts your connection after 15 minutes. Just refresh your browser and run a level 2 diagnostic on the comm system.
Do you take requests?
I don't take requests of a sexual nature. But if you can catch me in a silly mood, then you might get me to wear my jester's cap or something.
Why does the evil albino squirrel stalk you in your dreams of blood?
That's a question I have asked myself a hundred times. I do not know the answer, but I fear that I will learn it one day very soon.
Will you strip for me?
No. No nudity. Don't be a blenderhead and ask, either! I'll ignore you so fast you won't know what happened.
Are you dating anyone right now?
Hmmm. I got in deep doo-doo for posting this information before, so just e-mail me and ask about my relationship status. (If I'm dating you, please don't e-mail to ask, because that would be a little awkward if I answered "no.")
Why do they call those engineering crawlspaces Jeffrey's tubes?
You'd like to know, wouldn't ya? Well, let's just say that I used them according to starfleet regulations... for "personnel access to vital internal systems" of my own.
You're so vain. You probably think this song is about you, don't you?
Well, yes, but only if it's a Pet Shop Boys song. They are my favorite music artists.
What does "J-blend" mean?
I tried to conceive of a unifying element to help combine my different hobbies, activities, interests and attitudes. After some thought, I chose a blender because it adequately represents the mixture of elements that I enjoy. And, there's another reason...
What's up with the blender theme?
I had a near-death experience a few years back on a Cathay Pacific 747. The plane was on approach to the Kai-Tak Airport in Hong Kong. Turbulent winds rocked and jerked the plane while I sipped my white russian cocktail. Even the flight attendants were jumpy. Despite the mild sedative effect of the drink, my knuckles were white from my death-like grip on the armrests. Kowloon harbor was a gray mass of mountainous, jagged waves. The san-pans struggled to stay afloat in the white foam. I slammed my window shade shut. At that moment, I had a vision of my impending death: the icy winter waters would envelope the plane as it plummeted, coffin-like, into the dark abyss. My death-vision departed in a split second, replaced by the welcome sight of what I knew at once to be my spirit guide. My totem spirit was not a wolf or a gecko or a bear. It was an object of technology, just as I am the child of a technological age. It was a kitchen appliance. I pictured myself preparing the perfect daiquiri on a lavender and chrome blender. I caressed the brightly colored buttons in time with my quickening pulse. It was a vision of serenity. Buoyed by the sight, I grew accepting of my fate. If I was to die in the dark waters of Kowloon bay, then so be it! A pause. A sudden realization. The plane's quaking descent refused to end in a cinematic plunge. Emergency lights were not lighted to guide me to the nearest exit. The craft did not resemble a fiery pyrotechnic in a cartwheeling tragedy. Witnesses did not capture the doomed craft on videotape. Nothing happened at all. Landing gear and tarmac met as peacefully as two diplomats. I had survived. So, I thanked my spirit guide and promised I would repay it someday. And I have! This page is dedicated to my muse, spirit guide and favorite appliance, the blender. Thanks, buddy!
> home
> j-blend journal
> image blend
> my likes
> my reading list
> intimate terrain
> a tribute to moi
> home
> j-blend journal
> image blend
> my likes
> my reading list
> intimate terrain
> a tribute to moi
> home
> j-blend journal
> image blend
> my likes
> my reading list
> intimate terrain
> a tribute to moi
> home
> j-blend journal
> image blend
> my likes
> my reading list
> intimate terrain
> a tribute to moi
