“CJ?” Jed asked, his eyes wide, his lips missing the warmth of hers.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, trying to pass him. It had been a crazy impulse but there had been a depth of emotion in his eyes that had stirred something in her.

He blocked her path with his body, fearful she was going to run from him.

“I just thought…” her voice trailed off as she stared at her feet, nibbling her bottom lip. She wasn’t even sure what she thought.

“You thought what?” Jed asked tenderly, his arms at his side as he fought the urge to touch her.

The nibbling continued, her eyes barely lifting to his chest. “That you wanted me to kiss you.”

Jed was silent, realising just how obvious his feelings were. He’d been so careful over the past year, refusing to visit her, and in the past twenty four hours he’d done what he thought was a pretty good job of being a friend. Obviously he was no longer so good at hiding his emotions. First Kate and now CJ had read him right.

“It was silly. Impulsive. I’m fighting with Danny, he’s pushing me away and it’s complicated and you’re here for me, and I’m reading things into it… And.” She used to communicate for a living, now she could barely string a sentence together.

“I did.”

“You… you did what?”

“Want you to kiss me,” he replied, his voice catching in his throat.

“Oh?” It had suddenly gotten hot in the room.

“I was hoping you wanted to kiss me.”

CJ found herself staring into his face. “Yes.” Except of course it wasn’t that easy.

“Ok.”

She sighed audibly, her whole body seeming to slump.

“CJ, it’s ok.“ Simple enough to say as her friend, as a man who seconds ago had kissed the woman he was half way in love with, not so easy. “But you’re in a relationship with Danny, hell you’re practically married. You’re in a bad place. He’s being an idiot and you’re angry but you love him. And this…” He waved his hand between them. “Was a mistake.” Jed closed his mouth and waited.

She had always known Jed talked too much but there were occasions she wished he didn’t think he had all the answers. This was one of them.

“No.”

He stared at her blankly. Leo really ought to have his heating checked out. He was suddenly shivering.

“I mean, yes,” she began, trying to keep eye contact when really she wanted to run and hide. More importantly she needed to put distance between them. “I’m in a relationship with Danny. But we’re not married and there’s a reason for that.“ Actually two very good ones but she wasn’t about to go into details. “But no this wasn’t a mistake.“ Courage was fast outweighing sense, she concluded.

“Oh?”

“I don’t seem to be doing a very good job of explaining myself right now.”

“You want time to draft a speech?” he asked, joking.

“A time out would be good.” If she didn’t extract herself soon she was going to end up doing something that probably wasn’t the sanest idea under the circumstances. The kiss had brought forth a wealth of emotion, feelings she didn’t even know existed, and for once it wasn’t a kiss goodnight born of obligation. She loved Danny but it wasn’t exactly a relationship full of passion lately.

“Ok.”

CJ’s smile was meant to ease him but she realized it was having the opposite effect. “Give me twenty four hours to . . . Oh . . . It was more than just a kiss? I’m not sending as both into panic attacks over a simple kiss.”

He couldn’t help it he had to laugh. “Well I’m hoping it was more than a kiss, otherwise I’m getting sweaty palms for no reason.”

“Ok. Then I need to think about this carefully.”

Jed wanted to kiss her again just to prove it wasn’t a fluke and to convince her to pick him, but that was school boyish and he was anything but a school boy. He stepped out of her way and waved his hand.

Smiling, she leaned down and kissed his cheek, pausing long enough to see the light return to his eyes before she headed to her room.

”So are you doing the whole Santa thing?” Kate asked, taking a handful of chocolates from the tin Leo was passing around.

Leo grinned. ”It’s more Jed’s thing.”

“Really?” CJ teased. “You like dressing up?” Images flashed through her mind.

He raised an eyebrow. It should have been awkward but over Leo’s leftover dinner they had all lapsed into comfortable conversation. Now they were in his living room, watching made-for-TV movies and eating chocolate.

“Martha gets to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what she wants?” CJ pushed, leaning over to him, her hand landing on his knee.

“Only if mommy does the same.” Jed was feeling slightly brave after their encounter earlier and happier than he had for months.

CJ glanced at the other two occupants in the room and back at Jed.

“Well I can’t play with Kate, she’s sick,” he stated smugly. “And there’s no way I’m having Leo sitting on my lap.”

“You say that now,” Leo mock-grumbled. “But later.”

“Only good little boys get to sit on Santa,” Kate mumbled around a chocolate. “And you haven’t been good and you certainly aren’t little.”

Jed and CJ groaned in unison.

“Ignore her.” Leo blushed crimson. “But one of us should rent a costume and give Martha the whole Christmas experience.”

Over dinner CJ had asked if she could stay for Christmas. Still undecided about her future or her feelings she felt the need to make a least one decision.

Leo had been more than happy that they would spend Christmas together and they had moved onto hashing out the details, which so far involved Father Christmas, midnight mass and a family dinner. Leo still wasn’t sure about the family dinner.

“In that case we should have everyone for dinner,” Kate announced glibly. “It wouldn’t be Christmas without fighting, arguing and someone passing out drunk.”

“So Josh is coming,” CJ grinned.

“You know I can still change my mind,” Leo groused. “And spend Christmas on my own.”

Kate nudged herself closer. “But you won’t. You love us too much.”

He shook his head, suppressing a grin. He did love them too much and whatever CJ and Kate wanted he knew he would give them in the end.

Glancing at Jed, he inwardly groaned. What his best friend wanted Leo wasn’t sure he could give him, but then it wasn’t his to give and Christmas was going to be excruciating enough without worrying about Jed’s ardour. That was going to have to be something for Jed and CJ to sort out while Leo concentrated on making sure it wasn’t another ghastly Christmas. He had his work cut out, he was sure.

Martha held tight to CJ’s hand, her little blue eyes bright at the sight before her. She hadn’t thought anything could top the Disney store with it’s array of stuffed animals and costumes, but she’d underestimated shopping with her uncles.

Leo had driven half way across town to his favourite department store and insisted that Martha should get to see Santa, least Jed should fail in his search for a Santa costume.

What Leo hadn’t anticipated was the magic of Christmas. The grotto was really something to behold. Not a penny had been spared in making it every child’s fantasy and by the long line up of children waiting it had worked. Teenagers dressed as elves entertained the kids as they waited while the whole room had been turned into the North Pole. Mechanical reindeers and huskies peered out from behind trees surrounding the center piece of the whole event - Santas throne.

The three adults and one child, well two adults, waited patiently for their turn. Finally an elf waved them over.

Martha walked up to Santa and glanced back nervously at CJ, who nodded, urging her to move on. Slowly, she hopped up on Santa’s knee. Her face lit up as he began to talk in hushed tones to her.

“So what do you want for Christmas little one?” he asked.

All of two and the image of her mother, Martha was not one for holding back. “Bear. Doll. Horsey.”

“And have you been a good girl?”

She nodded intently.

CJ, standing to one side, groaned.

“What’s up?” Jed asked, leaning in, his eyes never leaving the small child, least something should happen to her.

“The doll and bear are covered. The horse I’d forgotten about.”

“Ahh.”

“Not ahh. Nightmare. Where am I gonna keep a horse? Not to mention feed and shoe one.”

Jed shrugged nonchalantly, his mind spinning into overdrive. A pony wasn’t beyond him, and he had an acre or two to spare. It would just take a little organising. In the meantime he would have to find the little girl something to keep her going.

“What did Santa say?” Leo asked, taking Martha’s hand as she hopped off the stage and leading her through the toy department.

She grinned up at him. “Good girl.”

“Then we’d better make sure Santa knows where to find you,” he replied shooting CJ and Jed a cheeky grin. Santa, he was sure was going to go broke, this year.

~~~~~~

“I’ll put these upstairs and then I’ll start dinner,” CJ announced, lifting her bags from the car. While Leo had taken her daughter for a muffin, CJ and Jed had finished their shopping, or at least she had. He had been on the phone most of the afternoon making secretive calls about what she could only imagine.

Jed and Leo shared a look of horror.

“Ok, you can both stop that. I might not be a world renown chef but I can knock up a casserole.” She shot them her death glare. “Course if you’re that worried . . .”

They shook their heads, fearful of what she might do.

“Good then. If someone can give Martha her snack I’ll just get organised.”

Thirty minutes later, Martha was fed and asleep and Jed was helping CJ cook, although the idea of CJ cooking was still somewhat frightening.

“How much longer do you think they can keep their hands off each other?” Kate asked, grinning as Leo cringed. She’d dropped by after work and been encouraged to stay for dinner, totally unaware of what she was about to experience.

“Long enough for her and Danny to sort whatever is wrong out,” he grumbled, knowing that it was unlikely that by morning CJ and Jed wouldn’t be waking up together. He had a headache even thinking about it.

Kate leaned over the chair and wrapped her arms around his neck. “What if it’s unfixable?”

“I love them, Kate. He’s my oldest friend and I don’t want to see him get hurt…”

“Who said she’ll hurt him?” she defended her friend.

“Let me finish. I’ve watched him this weekend. He’s fallen for her in the worst way possible. I don’t think he’d settled for a one night stand.”

CJ, who had come to check if there was anything Kate disliked, and overheard enough, quietly slipped back into the kitchen and stood watching Jed stir the soup.

“Claudia Jean?” Jed called, his voice laced with uncertainty.

She stared back at him. “I need you to listen to me.”

“You’ve prepared a speech?” Jed asked, his lips momentarily quirking upwards.

She shot him her infamous death glare.

“I was just wondering if I need to sit down.”

“If it means you shut up.”

Jed dropped onto the kitchen chair. “Wanna sit on my knee?”

“That’s it. I’ve had it. If you’re not gonna take this seriously. . . “

“Maybe if I wasn’t shaking so much.”

CJ glanced down at his hands and froze. His hands, now resting on the table, trembled.

“You can breathe. I’m not having an episode.” It was just the effect she was having on him.

“You’re not?”

“You make me nervous.”

He had an effect on her that she had never really been able to comprehend. It floored her, and had in recent memory persuaded her to be his Chief of Staff, to have her performing solo at his leaving party and now falling into a chair. “Maybe you should be the one giving the speech.”

“I love you. I want to wake up with you. I want to be inside you…” He hesitated. “… in your mind. Behind your eyes, that is.”

She half-smiled.

“At my age, that is a dream.”

“I don’t know. I’ve seen you in trunks.” She leaned across and covered his hands with her own. “You haven’t aged to me, Jed.” It was true, she wasn’t kidding herself, he was sixty-five but good for his age, and if anything the age gap was the least hindrance to what would come. For her what was on the inside was far more important than the outside, something she had always used to choose her friends and she had been successful there.

“Anyway I’m not fooling myself. I know this wouldn’t be an easy or conventional relationship. And I know physically I won’t be able to fulfil your needs but in other ways . . . Well . . . But I love you. Your turn.”

CJ focused on the juicer on the drainer. It had been easier in bed the previous night to organise her thoughts. She was used to sleep deprivation and when sleep was less than forthcoming she used the time to think. Then today she had wavered, little things conspiring to persuade her it wasn’t cut and dried. Leo’s fears sent her tumbling into more confusion.

“CJ?”

“Danny and I, well, we weren’t exactly allowed to be together, then he went away and I got promoted and the point was mute. Then he came back into my life and it wasn’t so difficult. Josh and Toby had both gone, Leo was running for office and the only person left was Kate. It seemed natural to spend time with him. He consumed my time and we made plans, had Martha, even discussed marriage. Then he became fixated on supporting us, of being the provider. And slowly but surely it became about the book. Apparently I wasn’t a big enough feature in you life to warrant ‘time.’ That being said we were together for five years.”

“You’re still together.” Past tense wasn’t going to raise his hopes.

She smiled weakly. “Not so much these days. Anyway it’s not simple to walk away from something. It’s a little scary.”

“Ok.”

“But fear shouldn’t be a reason for staying. And whatever decision I make shouldn’t be about him, or Martha, it has to be about me, “ she stated categorically. Loving Danny was one thing, staying with him for the sake of their child or because he‘d been there when she needed him once was another. “And it has to be about us because that kiss last night told me there’s an us.”

“Ok.”

“I mean it made me realise that I have feelings for you. I’m not entirely clear what to do with them but they are there.” Her communication skills seemed to have all but disappeared since she left politics. “I came here angry at Danny, frustrated with my life and lonely because Danny was never there. And you’re here and you take us to see Santa, you play in the snow with Martha and watch sentimental movies with me. It’s been wonderful and overwhelming and I’m not used to it.”

“Don’t do this to yourself.”

“Do what?”

“Talk yourself out of being happy,” he replied, defensively.

She smiled. “That’s not what I’m doing. I’m trying to explain. I don’t want to hurt you. I would never intentionally hurt you.”

“CJ. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. You’re one of the most loving people I know.”

“Jed, honey, I could kiss you now. We could start something and when I return to California I could end up having second thoughts. Then I’ve ruined a good friendship.”

“But you want to risk a better relationship.” He paused and took a sharp breath. “Sorry, I promised I wouldn’t push for anything or do this.”

“Leo’s worried about me hurting you.”

Jed rolled his eyes dramatically. “He really isn’t the man to be taking relationship guidance from.”

“He’s a good friend. He’s trying to be realistic and he doesn’t have to think with his heart. I don’t want to lose his respect by rushing in like a fool.”

He had always thought of her as anything but a fool but he chose to keep his mouth shut.

Her lips quirked upwards. “Not going to tell me I’m not a fool? Big mistake.”

Jed smiled too.

“So, I’ve decided what is best is that we wait.”

“Wait?”

“Yeah. I think we should wait before we go on our first date. I want to go back to California after New Year and talk to Danny. I’m not promising to end it. I need to see him, talk to him. But until I’ve done that I can’t think about beginning something with you. Whatever I might be feeling right now.”

“So for now, we . . .?”

“We spend time together as friends, as a family and see what happens.”

Jed didn’t like the idea but he had to respect her, she was proving to be the good person he had always thought her to be. It gave them time together, time to prove to her that he was the person she thought he was too.

”But for now, we’d better get dinner finished or we’re going to have one unhappy family,” she laughed, rising to her feet.

“Just tell me what you want me to do.” Something told him that was going to be a statement he would be living by for the rest of his life, and surprisingly he didn‘t mind a bit.

It was chaos, although to be fair to Margaret, she was trying to keep things under control.

Leo’s five bedroom, three reception room house was suddenly seeming a little small.

It had all begun with Mallory’s eight am visit, which wasn’t strictly true - it had actually begun with Jed dressing up as Santa and delivering gifts to everyone’s room at five am, Leo and Kate’s included -. Ten minutes later Margaret had arrived with her son. Four over excitable children, a few Christmas presents, and Jed, later and the living room was littered with brightly coloured wrapping paper, remnants of cardboard boxes and mince pie crumbs.

The kitchen on the other hand looked liked something from a Martha Stewart show. Margaret was barking orders like a general while CJ and Kate scurried around like frightened mice.

Leo’s brief foray into the kitchen had confirmed his suspicions -they were going to still be eating leftovers come New Years - he had retreated rapidly.

After Mallory’s departure Jed had decided the only place to be was on the floor helping to assemble toys. He was failing miserably with the table football Leo had bought James but thankfully Martha’s rocking horse came in one piece.

It was only nine thirty and Leo was getting a headache.

~~~~~

“Merry Christmas, Leo,” Donna sang, when he opened the door. She balanced the two sacks of presents and gave him a hug. “Toby’s getting the rest of the gifts from the car.”

Leo looked back to his recently vacuumed living room and sighed. “And Josh?”

“Will will drop him off on the way to Andrews. They may have had a few drinks last night.” In truth no-one had wanted Josh to spend Christmas Eve on his own, past holidays still too raw for everyone. Will had offered to ensure he got drunk and slept soundly. Probably not the wisest thing to do when he was going to be on duty in Idaho for the next two days, but it was what family did he had told them.

“The girls… women,” he corrected at the look on Donna’s face. “.. . are in the kitchen. You do realise you’re all girls compared to me.”

“And you’re just our giant teddy bear.”

“What’s that make me?” Toby asked, appearing behind her, his arms ladened with presents.

“Scrooge!”

He grumbled something inaudible and wandered into the living room. His mood lifted at the sight before him.

Martha held on tightly to the reins as Jed rocked her rocking horse back and forth. She had squealed in delight when she had pulled the shiny paper off and revealed her largest present.

CJ had shaken her head in despair, but she had smiled and her fingers had squeezed his arm in thanks.

Jed had yet to tell her that a real pony awaited his little princess in New Hampshire. He thought it was best to wait, least she chastised him there and then, or thought he was trying to force her into a visit.

“Dinner’s almost ready if you want to head into the dining room,“ CJ announced appearing in the doorway, wringing her hands in a dish cloth. “And I’d move if I was you.” She glanced back at the kitchen as Margaret’s voice drifted orders through the closed door.

Josh appeared just as they were taking their seats.

The atmosphere around the table was different from the last time they were together, the presence of children changing the dynamic and everyone very much in the holiday spirit.

Leo sat at one end of the table, the turkey dressed before him while Margaret positioned herself at the other. The table cloth was barely visible beneath the array of vegetables and accompaniments.

Rising unsteadily to his feet, Jed bowed his head and said grace. Silently he said a prayer for Abbey before he sat back down.

CJ smiled at him reassuringly, as he sat down, her thoughts in tune with his, Abbey never far from any of their thoughts in the holidays.

“Josh, help yourself to vegetables,” Margaret ordered, pushing a bowl of carrots towards him,

“I’m fine.”

She glared at him. “It’ll soak up the alcohol.”

He rolled his eyes and spooned carrots onto his plate.

“I thought you didn’t celebrate Christmas,” Kate said, pouring gravy onto her potatoes.

“He likes the presents,” Donna interjected before he could answer. “And giving them.”

“This is true.” Josh hated shopping but he did like to see his friends faces as they opened gifts.

“Whereas Toby just likes the food,” CJ laughed.

“What is it? Pick on Toby day?” Toby growled, moving his turkey to one side with his fork and dolloping creamed potatoes onto his plate.

“Yeah, we renamed Christmas especially. Besides, it’s traditional. And I don‘t get to see you and Josh very often I have to make the most of it.”

“And whose fault is that?” he grumbled, shooting her a scowl.

“Well I wouldn’t want you having too much of a good thing.” She stuck her tongue out at him. It was easy she concluded being here with these people, the banter easy and light with no pretense about who they were or what they had been through, that they reserved for outsiders.

Josh lifted the bowl of sprouts and smiled smugly at Margaret as he served himself.

Margaret grinned back, satisfied that her work was done

“Mom, can we pull the crackers?” James asked timidly.

“Sure, kiddo,” Leo replied, turning to CJ with a cracker.

James waved a cracker at Toby and he groaned. Toby’s rumbling increased as he pulled the cracker and won.

“You have to put the hat on.”

That was it, Toby decided, he hated Christmas. “No.” Donna’s hand kneading his thigh not only had him clearing his throat with thoughts undeniably unsuitable for the dinner table but also had him pulling the hat over his head.

By the time they had moved onto dessert everyone was wearing a silly hat and cracker remains littered the table.

~~~~~~

“Martha, don’t do that to Josh.”

The two year old continued to bounce up and down on her Uncle’s back. “More. More.”

Josh raised himself up on to his knees. “Hold on sweetie.” Slowly he began to crawl around the floor making neighing noises.

“How’s the hangover there, Josh?” Leo asked, his grin widening as the toddlers chubby hands gripped Josh’s neck.

“It’s dinner I’m more concerned about.”

“Don’t let her fall,” Jed bemoaned.

“Ok, Sweetie. Time for a rest,” Josh said, lowering her to the floor and collapsing in a heap.

Martha moved closer to her mother and pouted.

“Why don’t we open some presents?” Donna suggested, glancing around the room and sighing.

Everyone looked a little exhausted after lunch and the two children looked bored. She hoped a few toys would cheer them, and probably Josh and Toby, up.

Margaret’s son practically bounced towards the tree.

Donna crossed her legs and dug under the tree, pulling out presents. Nearly an hour later she was still handing out gifts.

James unwrapped his final gift and frowned. At five the prospect of building a replica of Air Force One was a little daunting.

Leo’s offer to help him convinced Margaret that he’s bought the gift as much for himself as for her son.

Finally Donna handed the last box to CJ and crawled out from under the tree.

CJ read the card and smiled. It was predictable that Jed would buy them all books, one on ponies for Martha, Israel for Toby and a cook book for Leo. Hers brought back memories of their first term and glancing at the inscription she choked back emotion. She mouthed her thanks and placed it beside the wine, good wine, from Toby and the silk scarf from Donna.

Leo continued to hover in the middle of the room, picking up the discarded paper from the carpet, once he was finished he suggested coffee.

Kate rose to her feet and headed towards the kitchen.

With a totally different destination in mind, Leo picked up the garbage bag and announced he was going out to the garbage can.

“I was beginning to think we’d never get a moment alone,” Leo announced, closing the kitchen door and leaning against it.

“A minute isn’t very long.”

He took two steps towards her. “It’s long enough to do this.”

She closed the distance between them. As her lips brushed his he slipped an arm around her waist, deepening the kiss.

“Do you need any help?” CJ asked, coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of her friends making out. “Obviously not.” She retreated rapidly.

“Well that could have been embarrassing,” Kate giggled against his shoulder.

“Ya think?”

“Well can you imagine Josh or Toby retreating so discreetly?”

He shook his head. “It does pose one question though”

She lifted her head to look at him, his grin sending butterflies through her stomach.

“What are we going to do with the ten minutes peace CJ is gonna buy us?”

Kate had the perfect solution and she didn’t intend to waste a second of it.

~~~~~

It had been Jed’s suggestion that they watch a movie. It was time he decided they started new family traditions. His only mistake was letting the children chose the movie and now they were forced to watch The Santa Clause.

CJ glanced down from the movie and smiled. Rolled up in a little ball, Martha had fallen asleep on her lap. Carefully, she picked her up and rose to her feet.

Martha stirred in her arms.

“Need a hand?” Toby asked, preparing to move.

She shook her head. “Say goodnight, Martha.”

The child lifted her hand to wave and dropped it again.

Jed leaned up and kissed her forehead, whispering “Sweet dreams“ as he had every other night. Later he would check in on her and reposition her covers. He couldn’t think of a better way to end the day.

CJ carried the sleeping toddler up the stairs to bed. “Sleep tight, Sweetie,” she whispered pulling the covers up over her shoulders. She watched her daughter sleep, a contented smile on her face. Regretfully, she headed back downstairs.

The family were as she had left them. Josh sprawled out on the floor, snoring. Toby in the armchair, Donna resting between his legs. Leo sat dozing in one sofa with Margaret, while Jed sat on the other with Kate.

They were all watching television, or at least pretending to be enthralled in the action on screen, all that was except Jed who looked over.

CJ smiled at him and beckoned him with her finger.

He walked towards her, confusion etched across his face.

She pulled him into the hallway and took a deep breath. “Kiss me.”

“Uh?”

“It’s Christmas. Kiss me.”

“CJ?” Jed was confused. She’d spent the whole week ensuring there were no mixed signals and as confused as he was about their relationship her he‘d enjoyed being with her. Now she was teasing him, but not maliciously. If anything she was as confused as he was, the seasonal atmosphere clouding her resolve.

“It can be a thank you for the presents, or because you’ve been incredibly sweet, but I’d really like you to kiss me.” She nibbled her bottom lip. “I’m not trying to. . .”

Jed leaned up and kissed her gently on the cheek. He pulled back to meet her eyes then kissed her tentatively on the lips. “Ok?”

“More than ok.” She brushed his arm and slipped past him into the living room, her heart beating a little faster, her cheeks a little flushed.

~~~~~~

“Is anyone hungry?” Leo asked as the titles rolled

There was a collective groan as they all remembered dinner.

“I need to go home,” Margaret said, stretching.

“Take some food.”

“I’ll come get some tomorrow.” She nudged her son. “Say goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight James,” they all chorused, everyone too tired to do much else.

“Josh, want a lift?” Margaret asked, as he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

He was about to refuse when he remembered the only other way to get home was with Toby and although he felt better he wasn’t sure he wanted to be alone with them. “Sure.”

The others began to move too.

Once the room was empty, and everyone had said goodnight, CJ moved across the couch. Leaning into Jed, she tucked her feet under her.

Neither said anything as Jed wrapped his arm around her and smiled to himself.

~~~~~~

Leo closed the door and let out a sigh of relief. He couldn’t quite believe it but he had survived twelve hours with his family. And he’d managed to bring harmony back.

Toby and Donna were in love, that much was obvious and if his hand slipping to rest on her stomach during the afternoon movie was an indication they would be making an announcement soon.

Josh and Toby were speaking again, a mild thaw, underlying tension manifesting itself in a loud game of table football. But they’d stayed away from violence, and for that Leo was grateful. The final mellowing would come when Donna became a mother, the kid in Josh making him the overprotective Uncle.

All he had to fix now was CJ and Jed.

“Are you gonna stand there all night?” Kate asked lightly, padding across the tiled entrance hall in his slippers.

“I haven’t had a better offer yet.”

Kate allowed herself a smirk. “And you’re standing under the mistletoe. It’s hard to believe.”

Leo looked up. “Wonder how that got there.”

She didn’t much care, instead she leaned up an wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him firmly on the mouth. “So do you want to unwrap your final Christmas present?” she asked, breaking away with a mischievous grin.

His face dropped momentarily. It wasn’t the offer he wanted. “Ok.”

“Don’t sound too excited,” she chided, taking his hand and beginning to walk away. “Of course I could unwrap it for you.” She loosened her top button.

“Kate?” he whispered, one eye on the open living room door.

“Don’t worry about them. She’s still trying to convince him that abstinence is the way to go. Although the Christmas spirit may be working it‘s magic.” The second button of her blouse slipped through the hole revealing a creamy expanse of skin.

“Can we at least take this somewhere private before you go the dance of the Iguana in your little black panties.”

“They’re pink,” she stated matter-of-factly. “CJ bought them for me.”

He would somehow have to thank CJ, he was certain, for what he was about to receive, but firstly he was going to enjoy his final gift.

~~~~~~

“You should go to bed,” CJ said softly from her position against his chest.

“Can’t I just sleep here?”

“You’d wake up stiff.“

He it back a sarcastic comment. “Maybe in a little while.” He didn’t want to move. After everything they had discussed she had taken the step of kissing him and now of curling up against him. Going to bed, he was convinced, would break the magic spell of Christmas. Tomorrow she would re-impose the ban.

“Jed?” she said so softly that he thought he was imagining things.

“Claudia Jean.”

“Hold me tighter.” She didn’t much care that it was against everything they’d agreed. The only thing stopping her from slipping between his sheets was the knowledge that it wouldn’t be for the right reasons.

He pulled her against him, his chin resting naturally on her head. “Did Martha have a good day?”

She smiled. “Yes, thank you. You, Leo, Josh and Toby made her into a little princess.”

“He didn’t call?” It was out before he could stop himself, sounding condemning against the relative silence of the room.

Danny, it seemed, had forgotten it was Christmas, or was too busy or didn’t think it was important. Given his daughter had slept most of the previous Christmas but at the very least CJ had expected his call. Martha, thankfully had been blissfully unaware, the center of everyone’s universe.

“No, he didn’t call.”

Instinctively he kissed her hair, his hands pulling her so close that she almost forgot how to breathe. “Did you have a good Christmas?” If the answer was anything but yes, he was going to rectify the situation.

“Um,” she pondered her answer. ”I spent the day with my family. I got to see my girls eyes light up and I was spoilt. All in all I had a pretty good day.” Part of her just wished there was some certainty in her life. The perpetual romantic wanted the day to end with her and the man she loved being together. “And I’m with someone special.”

“I think I should go to bed,” Jed announced, sighing. It had been hard enough to spend the day surrounded by her infectious laughter and having her in his arms limiting them to friends was a little too much to bear.

She sat up suddenly and stretched. “Sleep well.”

He rose to his feet, moving steadily across the room “Goodnight, CJ.”

CJ realised she missed the contact. “Don’t ever think you don’t mean the world to me.”

He stopped, turning sharply. “You’re the world to me.”

Her heart stopped.

“But I respect you, respect your need to finish things face to face. I just want you to be clear that I want to be with you.”

“I want to be with you.” she’d said it with out thinking, her heart dictating her head for once.

Jed closed his eyes briefly. They had another week together before she returned to California. Eight days to fill the void in her life and hopefully two weeks after that they would both get what they wanted. He turned away and headed to bed, fearful that if he saw her face all bets would be off

Leo had planned to have a quiet New Years Eve, as he had every year, stretched out on his couch, watching the ball drop in Time Square. He’d even considered inviting Margaret and James over and cooking them dinner. What Leo hadn’t anticipated was that he would be spending the evening with his girlfriend and his two best friends.

Things had changed over the last few weeks, not just for CJ but for him too. Kate had practically moved in, her cosmetics purse standing side by side with her toothbrush in his bathroom, her pyjamas and sweaters taking up drawer space. He wasn’t going to complain. In fact he was enjoying his retirement now that she was permanent fixture, and she was even cajoling him into actually following through on some of his plans.

Of course much of Leo’s new frame of mind was down to Jed. Daily they bickered, over everything from politics to ice cream flavours but he had finally managed to convince Leo that life really was too short. Leo wasn’t sure he approved of how Jed planned to live out his life but he wasn’t going to interfere. Jed, for the first time in over a year, seemed to actually be happy in himself and Leo knew from the way he carried Martha to bed and teased Kate mercilessly that he was ready to live again. If CJ was the cause of that then Leo hoped they could figure something out.

So instead of sitting home alone Leo had cooked dinner for the three most important people in his life. The conversation and cider had flowed freely and he had found himself laughing more than he had in years.

When Jed had insisted on clearing up, CJ, as on every other night, had offered to help and the two of them had disappeared into the kitchen. They were becoming set in their ways and every day Leo saw the five of them as more of a family, albeit a dysfunctional one.

~~~~~

Midnight was fast approaching, the end of another year, the start of what everyone always hoped would be a better year. The television was already set up, the volume turned down low as Leo awaited the tradition countdown.

Jed wandered into the living room, pausing at the sight before him, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “You want me to go back out?”

Leo shook his head, his eyes drifting over Jed’s shoulder. “Everything ok?” Leo asked, shifting position on the sofa and picking up Kate’s feet.

Jed lowered himself into a chair. “She’s just checking on Martha.”

Leo smiled despite himself, his fingertips gently massaging Kate‘s feet.

“What?”

“I meant is everything ok in the kitchen.”

“Yeah.”

“It’ll be strange when they go,” Leo commented wryly. He cringed as Kate poked him in the ribs. “Well it will.”

“You’ll have me and Jed’s gonna stick around for a while.” It wasn’t as if CJ would be gone that long. From their recent discussions she was fairly certain that her best friend was going to be moving back to DC in a matter of weeks.

“Yeah, but. . .,” Leo trailed off as she glared at him.

“Shall I go out and come back in again?“ CJ asked, appearing a few minutes later. “It‘s New Years. A time for celebration. For looking forward. Not for dwelling on that we cannot change.”

“Leo’s being a little Toby-esq.” Jed patted the chair beside him and she settled herself as close to him as she could without touching.

“One Toby in the family is enough.”

“Sometimes more than enough,” Leo grumbled as the clock in the hallway chimed midnight.

On television the ball in Time Square dropped.

Leo was oblivious to all of it as Kate lifted her head from his chest and cupped his cheek.

“Happy New Year, Sweetheart,” Kate whispered as she moved closer and kissed him softly on the mouth, fully intent of making him feel more positive about the new year.

His hand found its way into her hair, loosening her hair as he deepened the kiss.

Jed glanced at his friend and at the woman beside him. “Do you think we should give them a little privacy?” he asked with a smile.

CJ nodded, her eyes locking with his, the idea of them having a little privacy of their own something she could endorse.

Silently, he rose to his feet, offering her his hands and pulling her up. Pausing only briefly to remove her coat from the rack, he led her out onto the front porch.

They stood, staring out through the snow at the neighbourhood, CJ shivering despite the coat.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Jed announced suddenly, turning his body to look at her.

“You just didn’t want to play gooseberry,” she teased, rubbing her hands together.

Jed took her hands between his and hugged her against his chest. His breathing became laboured as he felt the warmth of her body against his and took in the scent of her perfume.

“We agreed not to do this,” she stated less than convincingly, her resolve dissolving quickly.

He smiled smugly. “That was last year.”

“Jed.”

“It’s a new year. New rules.”

“I can’t…” Her argument was lost as he leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. She stared back at him, her mouth open but no words coming out.

“Happy New Year, CJ.” He continued to hold her hands, ignoring the chill shooting through his body.

“Happy New Year, Jed.” Her eyes sparkled despite the cold.

“So what’s your New Years resolution?” he asked, trying to ignore the overwhelming feeling of having her against him and resisting the urge to kiss her again.

She looked at him blankly. “Resolution?”

He nodded.

“I guess I know what yours is,” she mused as the warmth returned to her extremities and she realised how easy it would be to give him everything he wanted for new year.

“To make you happy.”

He was making it harder for her by the day, even though he didn’t mean to because he did make her happy. She had all but forgotten how unhappy she had been two weeks ago, and the last few days had been filled with laughter and simplicity. Sharing chores and doing family things had convinced her that she really was going back to end her relationship. The only roadblock to her plan was that she wasn’t sure she could wait another week to be with the man holding her, the man she now knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

“Hey, you guys, what ya doing out here?” Leo asked, his mouth firmly fixed in a grin, his eyes darting to the scene before him.

“Talking New Years Resolutions,” CJ offered, wrapping an arm around Jed, not caring what Leo thought.

“And any?”

“To give myself another chance at happiness,” CJ replied, wishing they were alone again.

“That’s something I can endorse,” Leo agreed, pulling Kate closer to his chest. “Kate’s just agreed to marry me.”

“Wow. Congratulations. Happy New Year,” Jed said, holding his hand out for Leo to shake. Instead they moved to hug, breaking away almost instantaneously. “I hope it brings you everything you want, old friend. And you.” He kissed Kate’s cheek. “Look after him, and each other.”

She nodded. “I intend to look after him.”

“Do I get in on any of the action?” CJ asked, throwing her arms around Kate. “Congratulations, honey.”

“Thank you.” Kate hadn’t believed it when Leo had taken her hand and declared the depth of his feelings but she hadn’t hesitated in accepting. She loved him more than she thought possible and commitment no longer filled her with dread.

CJ kissed Leo, engulfing him in a hug. Her eyes drifted back to Jed and her heart leapt in her chest. She knew from the tips of her toes to her head that she was in love with him, she also knew that it was over with Danny. The guilt of breaking up with one man to be with another was a little overwhelming at times but, and it was a big but, she was in love and she had denied herself that indulgence too many times in the past.

“CJ?” Jed asked softly, his fingertips brushing her arm as he watched a bevy of emotions flicker across her face.

She glanced at Leo and Kate before turning back to Jed, her smile reaching her eyes.

“We’re just going to go and make hot chocolate,” Kate announced, fully aware that something had finally changed and wanting to give CJ a little privacy. She tugged Leo. “We’ll be in the kitchen when you want to join us.”

“I leave the day after tomorrow, or rather tomorrow I guess it is now,” CJ said quietly when they were alone.

“I know.” He didn’t want her to go but he‘d promised not to make the decision more difficult for her.

“I’m going to tell Danny it’s over. He gets back in a few days.”

Jed continued to say nothing.

“We should really go and have chocolate with the others.”

He nodded, his eyes locked with hers as his fingers kneaded her knuckles.

CJ sighed, feeling not for the first time inept. All she really wanted to do was tell him she loved him and wanted to take him to bed but she couldn’t say the words. It was beyond stupid, knowing as she did that he was not going to reject her.

“Claudia Jean?” he asked, finally when she continued to stare at him.

It was now or never she decided, leaning in and cupping his cheek, seconds before she kissed him firmly on the mouth. The kiss began as sweet and full of promise but it quickly became passionate and full of longing as Jed pulled her to him, deepening the kiss. It took her breath away and when they finally broke apart she was shaking.

Jed continued to hold her to him. “Wow.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.” Jed shivered, finally realizing they were standing in the cold night air. “We should get warmed up.”

She nodded silently.

“How about we talk later, once Leo and Kate have gone to bed. I’m not sure I want. . .”

CJ silenced him with a kiss. She had no intention of going to bed alone or for that matter sleeping.

~~~~~~

It was four am and the house was eerily quiet as CJ stood at the window and stared out at the falling snow.

“You know I won’t be offended if you want to go back to your own room,” Jed mumbled, rolling over onto his side.

“It’s still snowing.”

He sat up, pulling the comforter up with him. “You wanna talk?”

Talking was the last thing she wanted to do. She was for all intent and purposes all talked out. After he had kissed her and she’d kissed him in the snow they’d spent an hour making small talk and drinking hot chocolate with Leo and Kate. There’d followed two more hours of conversation, procrastination and a series of stolen kisses. Finally Jed had suggested it was bedtime. By the stunned look on his face he hadn’t expected her to follow him into his room.

“CJ.”

“Martha will be awake in a couple of hours.”

He pushed the covers away and lowered his feet to the floor.

“Don’t get up,” CJ said into the semi-darkness, turning finally to look at him. For the last hour he had held her semi-clothed, his fingers drawing lazy circles over her back. Until she had suddenly climbed out of bed. She was being more than a little unfair to him, she knew, sending mixed signals and fighting what seemed inevitable.

“I understand.”

“What colour is Martha’s pony?” she asked, her lips quirking upwards.

He stared at her, wondering if maybe in one of their endless conversations he’d mentioned the chestnut mare.

“You have bought her a pony?”

“Yeah.” He grinned.

CJ nodded her head, her fingers making light work of her pant buttons, the grey slacks landing in a puddle as she kicked them off. It had come to this - the reading of his mind, knowing him almost as well as he knew himself. She took two steps towards him, lifting her arms above her head, pulling her sweater off. Her underwear landed on the bedpost.

“What are you doing?” Jed asked, his voice quivering.

“Coming back to bed.” She slid in beside him, waiting for him to turn over and face her before she spoke again. “One of us is overdressed.”

His fingers ran over her shoulder blade, caressing the newly bare skin, sending shivers down her spine. “Are you sure? I mean . . . what. . .? CJ, help me out here.”

She grinned, sliding closer to him. “Well, you need to lose a couple of layers.”

“Ok.” He shuffled down the bed, covering himself in the comforter as his clothes dropped to the floor, bashful of what she might see.

She hadn’t thought through what was going to happen next, fully expecting and hoping that instinct would take over. “We have two hours.”

“Well, you might want to lower your expectations,” he said lightly. “That’s a long time.”

CJ wrapped a leg around his thigh and draped an arm over his chest. She sighed contentedly.

“You know we can wait,” he said nervously, capturing her lips in a kiss.

“Or not,” she replied brazenly, running her fingertips over his face. “We might as well start the year as we mean to go on.”

“And this is how we’re going to go on?” He rather liked the way the conversation was going, but he was enjoying where her hands were going even more.

She smiled at him. “When I make a decision I kinda like to act on it immediately. You should know that about me.”

“I did. I do.”

“You’re talking too much again,” CJ whispered, her breath warm against his collarbone.

“I may be somewhat nervous,” he sighed as she continued to trail kisses over his skin. “I’m not as great in bed as you pertain to be.”

CJ stopped what she was doing and lifted her head. “How good it is depends on who I’m with, and I’m with you so it‘s going to be incredible.”

“Of course there’s the added pressure of Leo being down the hall.”

“I somehow don’t think he’s going to be listening out for what we might be doing.”

“You’re not a screamer?”

“Oh, I’m pretty vocal. I just think he’ll be busy.” She lowered her head and began to reign kisses lower and lower down his body.

“What are you doing?”

“If you really don’t know then we have our work cut out,” she whispered against his abdomen, sending out vibrations against his skin.

“I know what you’re doing, I meant. . .” He groaned as her fingers slipped inside the waistband of his shorts.

“We need to lose these.” Her fingers made light work of his shorts leaving them both naked and fully exposed. Slowly she slid back up his body and captured his lips in a kiss.

Jed closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

As much as he had dreamed of this moment for weeks, even years, he had never expected it tonight, nor had he expected it to make him so nervous. None of that mattered, he realized, as she moved over his body and he felt the heat surge in his body. It was really going to happen and they both wanted it. All that really mattered was that they were going to be together, maybe not for a few weeks but he’d get to spend Valentines with her, and he’d never spend another holiday without CJ, and Martha.

He opened his eyes and looked up at the woman he loved, his heart beating faster as she fluttered her eyelids and reached for his hands. Later he would tell her just how much she meant to him, and how great she really was in bed, but for now all he could think was that it was the perfect and only way he wanted to see in the New Year just as he heard his name on her lips and lost all coherent thought.

Back to Part One

Back to The Oval Office

Continue to When Words Are Not Enough