“Abbey and I are walking along and see a ditch digger. I say to Abbey, aren’t you glad you married me? Abbey says, If I’d married him he’d be President,” Jed said, wandering up and down the portico.

It was so hard to articulate how he felt about Abbey. Usually he would have a hundred words running through his brain but something was blocking that. His feelings for her certainly hadn’t changed.

Of course they weren’t living in the easiest of circumstances. Abbey’s hearing was to start the following day and if her reactions earlier were anything to go on, she was scared.

******

The party, or rather the week of festivities, had been Jed’s idea. The last year had been a roller coaster for their relationship -- first the MS announcement, his announcement that he would run again and the whole ethical dilemma it had thrown up. Things had been getting better, but now he was caught up with the campaign and the time they spent together was more infrequent. The party was his way of showing her, and the rest of the world that his wife was still the most important thing in his life.

Of course there were other reasons. The AMA’s hearing were to begin the following day and, for once in her life, Abbey wasn’t hiding her nerves well. Jed knew if there was some way to prevent his wife going through it, he would take it. This time unfortunately he was powerless. There was also his guilt, for putting her in that position to begin with and for his indiscretion. But that was something he didn’t want to dwell on tonight.

Jed had been hoping his feeble attempts at humor and the party would pick her mood up a little. But that plan, like so many others, didn’t seem to be working.

Of course his joke about the X-ray board wasn’t in the best taste, but she had lived with thirty years of his bad jokes, so she had to be accustomed to that by now. At least she was listening to him, even if she hadn’t laughed at his other twenty-three jokes. Maybe he should have gone into “stand up” instead and saved them both the hassle.

Jed could understand her fears, and despite what he had said, he was proud of her for standing by what she’d done. Deep down he was confident that it would all turn out right in the end, even if he didn’t see any glimmer of hope shining at the end of the tunnel right now. Despite everything, he knew she would always have him and the girls and the AMA would give her the least punishment they could.

Abbey, being Abbey, was arguing that they couldn’t give her the least, which apparently was a letter of concern. He wondered briefly if that was like the censure, which he had unwillingly accepted, but, in years to come, would mean nothing. He had always wondered what gave people the right to hold them to a higher standard.

Unfortunately even his reassurances didn’t seem to ease her tension any. She was too upset, but that was fine. He was going to be a husband, a loving supportive husband, there to support her and get her through the worst. In that he had conviction. He had wanted to say everything in his heart but he stopped himself, it wasn’t the time and perhaps he had left it too late to mean anything.

Jed loved his wife. She was beautiful. The party was his way of showing her off. Usually she didn’t seek his approval, mainly because he was fairly useless in that respect, and also, because for as long as he’d known her she’d had her own, wonderful, style. The dress tonight proved his point, unconventional, but Abbey looked every part the confident, beautiful woman he’d married. He’d hoped the party would give her something else to think about.

Of course he hadn’t considered the possibility she wouldn’t want so many guests or all the formality. He had to admit the whole thing was a little over the top, but then he had a lot to make up to her for and it wasn’t everyday she turned. . ., well had a birthday. And it was his idea, not Leo’s, not the girls’ but his, right down to the menu. The idea of her relaxing and enjoying herself was a good one with the inevitable looming, except things around him never happened in a predictable manner any more.

******

Jed had taken Charlie to one side to get help with his speech. The fact he had two good speechwriters downstairs wasn’t the point. In fact he was a little mortified that he would need help to write something for his wife. Charlie on the other hand was perfect, an ear, and someone who wouldn’t ridicule him.

Of course, then Leo had glided into the picture for the first of many times that evening. He and Leo had been friends for years, they understood each other even when their wives couldn’t. The look on Leo’s face should have been warning enough that the relaxed evening was slipping out of his grasp. Leo’s request to speak to Abbey was not unusual-- he was almost as close to her as he was to Jed, but Jed’s urge to protect kicked in.

Abbey was more stressed than he had ever seen her in his life. It was her career, everything she had worked for on the line this time. Jed had been there last year, he could well understand that. He had also come out the other side and built something new for himself. Jed glanced at her, he was concerned, but maybe Leo was the right person for her to talk to about the hearing.

******

Jed was trying to practice the toast. He wanted it to be perfect, to make Abbey smile and forget how much she hated all the fanfare. Except it wasn’t coming easily and from the expression of horror on Charlie’s face, the jokes still weren’t funny.

He looked up and caught sight of CJ coming towards him. He had to admit when she was dressed up, he managed to push Abbey from his mind. It wasn’t right he knew, but as a man he could hardly be expected to ignore her. He had once described her as a fifties movie star, and that would always be the image he would have, along with the one from India, burnt into his brain.

The chosen outfit was silver and the high neck did nothing to make her look innocent. Jed stifled a grin as he noted the absence of a bra, and thought of that night flashed through his mind. Taking a sharp intake of breath he focused on CJ’s face. She’d changed her hair, the flip making her seem younger than she had in a long time. That, and the happy face she had been wearing since they had returned from India.

“I haven’t seen you all night,” Jed stated, hoping it sounded casual and not as though he had been actively seeking her out.

“I haven’t made it over there. I’ve been tracking something down.” CJ hoped there wasn’t going to be a scene when she told him. And just maybe if she stood far enough away he wouldn’t pick up on the fact she was actively avoiding him and the festivities.

Jed only just focused enough to notice Charlie leave, at his dismissal no doubt, before CJ mentioned the recusal.

He was livid. Nolan practically owed him everything and now he was side stepping the issue. Of course he’d dress it up as a conflict of interests, but in truth the guy was dropping Abbey right in it. It wasn’t so much that Nolan was screwing Jed over, he was a politician and it came with the territory, but Abbey had worked with the guy for twenty years. She was definitely going to pay the price for protecting Jed’s privacy. What that price was going to be he wasn’t sure. He had wanted to save Abbey from this. To ease his guilt in part, but more because he loved her and she had made the sacrifice for him. Now the board was going to be torn down the middle and the whole procedure would end up a long and drawn out circus. He didn’t envy the person who had to tell Abbey about Nolan.

Jed focused his attention back to CJ. He needed to be honest with her. In many ways it was easy. CJ was under no illusions. There had been none of the ‘I don’t love my wife anymore‘, excuses, and CJ appeared to have accepted the situation or maybe had just gone with her feelings.

Of course in reality it wasn’t simple. His feelings for CJ hadn’t disappeared. She was still his Press Secretary and his friend, and now she filled an irreplaceable gap in his life. Whatever happened in the future he still wanted her to be in his life.

It seemed a bit unfair to have CJ be the one to tell Abbey, but he felt it would be easier for Abbey. If he were to tell Abbey himself, he wasn’t sure what her reaction would be, tears maybe and anger probably directed at him. He was carrying enough guilt and confusion without adding anything else to it. And CJ was a woman, hopefully Abbey would relate to her on some level. Okay, he admitted to himself, he was really just making it easier on himself but what the hell. Sometimes other people could shoulder some of the burden.

He couldn’t even comprehend what CJ was thinking as she waited patiently for his decision. Her feelings had always been pretty clear and in India he placed her in an unenviable position. Now she was standing in front of him concerned for Abbey, acting the consummate professional she was. He could only hope she was better at dealing with her emotions than he was.

Jed noticed Leo walking through the French doors and broke away from his thoughts. Leo always needed a hundred percent of his attention.

As CJ excused herself and walked away, Jed’s eyes involuntarily followed her briefly. Every inch of her exposed skin he had explored with his fingers and his mouth. He briefly wondered if she’d worn the dress just to please him.

Quickly he turned his attention back to Leo.

As he explained to Leo what would happen, Jed relaxed somewhat. A year’s suspension would be hard for his wife. She loved medicine but enjoyed the patient contact more. But he knew Abbey will accept it, do her penance and still act the First Lady that she was.

“You don’t need to worry about her leaving you for me,” Leo joked and awoke him from his thoughts.

“I was pretty concerned about that,” Jed joked back, the words falling easily off his tongue. It’s something he’d never worried about, which isn’t quite true, there had been a time when Ron Erlich had come back into her life. And there was the time when he first introduced Leo to her 32 years ago. But Abbey wouldn’t do that to him, it was only him who broke vows.

“She’s definitely leaving you for someone, so don’t be so cocky.”

That’s the reason Leo is his best friend, he knows his moods and knows when he needs pulling from a mood and cheering up. Leo, who would go mad if he found out about CJ, which is something Jed hoped would never happen. Of course after the initial shouting Leo would be his friend, counselling him as always and taking care of Abbey.

“Leave me alone. I’m trying to be a husband. Your mojo’s all over me.” Jed frowned at his Chief of Staff, knowing that Leo understood that it was only Jed’s way of dismissing him while at the same time letting him know he’ll be fine. And he will. Somewhere along the lines he needs to make his own sacrifice but right then he wanted to be there for Abbey, both mentally and physically.

******

Later, he found himself of the portico, trying to find the words to wish his wife, Happy Birthday.

When Charlie had asked if he loved Abbey, he had replied truthfully.

He loved Abbey very deeply, at times more than he could express. And now was one of those times-except maybe for a different reason. It would be so easy to stand up in front of their guests and wish his wife, Happy Birthday, and say I love you. The problem was she would immediately pick up something was wrong. The last few weeks had been hard enough pretending India was nothing and didn’t invoke unchartered feelings in him.

Now he was in the position of having to share his feelings with everyone. The speech needed to be long and the message clear. A short speech would only cause Abbey to worry about him, or even worse, think he wasn’t interested. Clearing his mind he once again began to throw phrases at Charlie.

Then something occurred to him. It was actions that spoke more than words. Despite everything his staff had said, he needed to do something himself.

And it was obvious then. Dismissing Charlie he headed into his office and made the call.

Entering the ballroom, Jed had been taken aback to hear the Canadian anthem but then in reality he shouldn’t have been surprised. His White House had always been a little more laid back than previous ones and his staff, and wife, for that matter, liked to tease him.

The second thing that struck him was that Abbey and CJ were standing side by side. Two incredible women who he cared about, who were, or had been best friends. In the dimness of the ballroom with everything else going on around him, it suddenly occurred to Jed that he was being unfair to both of them, for asking more from either of them than he deserved.

Quietly Jed pulled Abbey towards a corner of the room. He had been so busy with his toast and leaving Nolan to Leo and CJ, that he’d forgotten his priorities. His sudden decision to phone Nolan was out of character but necessary. He wanted to spare Abbey her punishment and protect her if he could, that much he owed her.

Even as he explained to Abbey what he had done and that Nolan was contemplating staying, he could sense there was something wrong, that she had a surprise of his own.

Jed’s jaw dropped and he wasn’t sure the words would ever come again. His beautiful wife who loved medicine second only to her family had just announced she was going to forfeit her licence. He wanted to stop her but he couldn’t. The guilty feelings he had been trying to silence came rushing to the surface and in a split second Jed decided he couldn’t hurt Abbey anymore.

The quiet private world he had created was tumbling away, he no longer deserved that when everyone around him was making the ultimate sacrifices. He didn’t dare look at CJ for fear she would see his thoughts and know how confused he was.

The sight of Abbey’s tear stained eyes brought him close to tears himself. She looked so vulnerable and it was because of him. He couldn’t find his voice and people were beginning to stare at them.

“Okay. I’m going to toast in a minute and tell the ditch story. But I wanted to say I love you very much.”

“I love you too Jethro.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“I think I will, ” she had said firmly, the same old Abbey.

He had wanted to drag her away then, but they had been accosted by his Lordship, then Leo. His head was still reeling from her sudden announcement and CJ was watching him, her eyes dark. It couldn’t be easy for her watching them, not knowing what was going on, seeing her best friend suffering and her lover bouncing back and forth between them. There was no way the current situation could continue.

Finally breaking away from the guests and guiding his wife to the stage he sighed. Silently, locking eyes with Abbey, he wished her Happy Birthday and kissed her.

Quickly, as he hugged his wife, he glanced at his lover and away again. It was over, the door to his private world was closing for good, now all he had to do was tell her.

The End