Title: A Bird In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bath
Pairing: Josh/Amy, Josh/Donna
Series: Muffin Coup
Summary: Amy’s problem was that she walked in and found you in the bath with. .
Spoilers: Up to and including season three
Rating: PG
Completed: December 2002
*~*~*~*
It was a long hot summer. The West Wing was like a furnace and the staff had taken to wearing as little as possible to work, which for Leo meant loosening his top button. The convention in San Diego had been stifling and the staff were at first relieved to return to DC. They soon changed their minds.
Josh thought he’d found a solution. He still had the fax machine from when he’d been shot and Donna could get her hands on a laptop. His solution to the heat problem was to work from home with the fan on full and the windows open wide.
Donna wasn’t so convinced but at least it meant she could wear shorts and a tank top. She arrived on his doorstep at eight-thirty Saturday morning with a pile of folders in one hand and a bag of groceries in the other.
“Did you bring food?” Josh asked over the intercom.
“Yeah.”
Buzzing her up, he pulled his running vest over his head and unlocked the door.
“It’s supposed to top one hundred today,” Donna informed him, shuffling through the door and dropping everything on his dining table.
“Who needs the weather channel when we have Donnatella Moss,” he teased, riffling through the bag and pulling out a jelly donut.
She shot him a look and clipped her hair off her neck. Settling herself at his table, she began to organize the folders highest to least priority and powered up the laptop. “We need to work on the Welfare Bill.”
Josh groaned. They’d won, Amy had lost, but that was three months ago. The Bill was still causing him endless problems, both professionally and personally. Their relationship was current although she still reminded him frequently that she had lost her job because of him. The sex was good, which was pretty much the only thing keeping them together. The heat though was even making that a luxury.
“Josh?” Donna prompted, rolling her eyes. “There are other things I could be doing.”
He snapped out of his thoughts and dropped into a chair. “The Welfare Bill.”
For the next three hours they worked side by side, the folders moving slowly from one pile to another. Donna would type his letters and notes as he dictated, saving the correspondence to disk with the intention of printing them off first thing Monday morning.
Donna stood up and headed into the kitchen, coming back with a soda.
“Where’s mine?” he whined.
She gave him a wry smile and shook her head. “You know where the fridge is.” She didn’t bring him coffee and she had no intention of pandering to him in his own house.
Josh groaned and went to get his own soda.
They continued to work quietly, munching on the assortment of snacks she’d picked up at the 7-Eleven as the temperature outside rose by degrees.
Josh watched as she shifted position, her thighs rubbing against the seat for the third time in a row, and sighed.
“What?” she asked.
“We can leave this until Monday.”
“No, we’re nearly there,” Donna said, wincing as she rolled her neck. Josh’s mishmash of furniture had never been comfortable. His couch was like lying on a bed of nails and his dining chairs had wonky legs and were prone to rocking. Josh unfortunately complained he didn’t have enough money to replace them. Yeah, because 140,000 dollars a year wasn’t a reasonable wage. “And besides you have a week-ahead meeting Monday morning for Indiana.”
Josh groaned. The week-ahead meetings were always fun. Toby and Bruno arguing the smallest details and it had become his role to play referee. Of course that was when he remembered to attend the meetings.
Donna dropped her pen and leaned back in her chair.
“What’s up?” Josh asked with a hint of exasperation.
“My back hurts.
Josh stood up and walked around the table to stand behind her. Laying his hands on her shoulders he began to rub at the tired muscles. “Are you worked up about something?” Josh asked innocently.
Yeah, Donna thought, right now, you. His hands were massaging her bare shoulders before working their way down her back, over her flimsy top.
She was braless, Josh concluded, feeling a slight stirring down below. His Donna, and if Amy heard him call her that he would be in trouble, was in his apartment practically naked.
“Josh?” Donna asked, her voice tinged with concern.
He shook his head. “Sorry I was thinking about soybeans.” He began to knead her back once more.
Donna jumped as he hit a particularly tense knot.
“Sorry.” Josh rested his hands back on her shoulders and debated whether the idea in his head would sound as stupid to her as it did to him. He decided it probably would but that had never stopped him before. “Why don’t you take a bath?”
Her head spun around to look at him like something from the exorcist. “A bath?”
“You only have a shower. I have a Jacuzzi tub. It might help with the backache,” he offered casually.
“I’m not sure. . .I mean. . .” she stopped and turned away. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t bathed there before. After Rosslyn, while he was sleeping she’d showered and cooked and cleaned. It was just that Amy hadn’t been around then.
He didn’t want to press the issue but she was wavering, and he rather liked the idea of her naked in his apartment. “I’ll run the water.” He disappeared before she had time to argue.
Donna was still sitting at the table when he returned. She could certainly do with a bath, the heat, at least she blamed the heat, had sent her temperature soaring and now she was sticky. A long cold bath with the jets would only make her feel better.
It had taken him a while to run the bath. Firstly he had to get the temperature right, warm enough that she didn’t catch a chill, cold enough to make her feel better. Then he couldn’t find any bubble bath. In the end he located an old bottle of shampoo that Amy had left an dumped a generous dollop in the tub. As he’d turned on the jets, the foam had started to fill the bath. Finally, in amongst the tatty blue towels, he’d found a nice fluffy white one.
“I left you a towel,” Josh said, coming up behind her.
“Thanks.” She rose to her feet slowly and headed towards the bathroom. “Are you sure?”
It was, he decided, an open question. Are you sure this is okay? Are you sure you won’t join me? Okay so he was dreaming. Josh nodded, hovering in the middle of his kitchen until he heard the bathroom door close. He began to pace as his thoughts moved to her undressing, revealing more of her pale alabaster skin and her long limbs as she climbed into the tub.
“Josh?”
He jumped half out of his skin at the sound of his name. “Yeah?” he gulped, moving to the kitchen door.
“The jets won’t work.”
“They were fine just now,” he called, running his hands through his hair in agitation. His Donna was naked on the other side of the door and she needed him. “If you’re, you know, decent, I’ll come take a look.”
Her acknowledgement came muffled through the door.
Perspiration dripped off his forehead as he hovered outside the door. It wasn’t the heat, more anticipation of what he was about to receive, uh, see.
The door opened slowly and Donna looked up, grinning. “Before you tell me I’m useless, I’ve tried everything.”
Josh closed his eyes and edged his way across the room.
Donna stretched out in the tub and giggled. On one hand he was obviously having all sorts of visual fantasies if his shorts were anything to go on but on the other hand he was desperately trying to be discreet about his feelings.
“Are you wigging out on me?” she asked, through the giggles.
His eyes flew open and to her foam covered breasts. “Huh?”
“I bet you wouldn’t be freaking out if it was Sam in the bath,” she commented dryly.
“Sam?” he asked incredulous.
“I’m just saying I’ve seen you naked, I’ve washed your back and - even though you haven’t taken me to Hawaii - you’ve seen me in a bikini, so isn’t a bit late to be doing the whole coy act now?”
“Don-na,” he whined, depressing the button on the side of the bath and watching as the water began to bubble.
“Ah, I didn’t see that.”
Josh turned and moved back towards the door, trying unsuccessfully not to look at her. “It’s okay.”
“Are you really uncomfortable with me being naked?” Donna asked innocently. He was practically her best friend and now he was acting weird, even more so than usual. “If so, maybe I should get out and put some clothes on.”
“Uh, no! I’m just too hot.”
“So take a shower. It’s not as if I haven’t seen it before.” Her eyes twinkled as she watched his eyebrows reach his hairline and his jaw drop.
He vaguely remembered her washing him, but not being naked. Then he remembered she’d been there through his surgery. From the accounts he’d heard, she had been there around the clock.
Josh turned his body away from her as embarrassment got the better of him. If things continued in the same vein he was going to need an ice cold shower before the afternoon was out.
Donna gasped as she shifted position and her back spasmed. “Oh, Josh. That hurt.”
“You want me to rub it some more?” The words were out before he could stop them.
She shyly smiled and nodded.
Josh settled himself on the edge of the bath and began to move his hands over her shoulders, slipping into the tepid water to stroke her back. “Hey,” he cried as she threw the first handful of water at him. “What was that for?”
“You looked like you needed to cool off,” she offered with a straight face. Her eyelids fluttered shut as his hand disappeared lower. “Um, Josh.”
She was vaguely aware of his hands leaving her body briefly and the rustling sound. When his hands returned she moved forward in the bath.
Josh slid in behind her, his hands continuing their ministrations. “Is that better?”
Her low moan brought a smile to his face. His hands began a gentle exploration of her body, pulling her back against him.
Donna settled back against his chest, enjoying the feel of his hands moving soap across her body. The back ache had dulled and the cool bath was comforting.
“I’m not sure we should be doing this,” she sighed wistfully.
Josh lightly kissed her shoulder. “Do you feel better?”
“Yes. But if she finds out, won’t it cause problems?” Donna asked, opening her eyes and glancing up. Her eyes widened as the bathroom door opened.
“Relax, how’s she going to find out?” Josh mumbled against her neck.
Donna made a strangulated sound in her throat and pulled her knees up against her chest. “Amy!”
“Yeah, that’s who I thought you were talking about.”
“She means, Amy’s here,” Amy corrected, fixed her mouth in a grim line. “In your bathroom.”
Josh gulped and lifted his head. “Hey, Amy.”
“J?”
He glanced at his assistant then back at his girlfriend. “This probably looks bad. . .”
“What? You naked in the bath with your assistant? Why would that look bad?” Amy asked sarcastically.
It was bad on so many levels. Amy was gonna get pissed at him, and by the look in her eyes there was going to be punishment. Donna would turn pink and probably not talk to him for days. How was he to know that Amy might drop over. There was also the possibility CJ would find out, what with women talking and all that. And that could only mean more pain and humiliation for him.
“We were working and Donna had back ache,” Josh explained.
“And she couldn’t take a few aspirin like everyone else?” Amy hissed, folding her arms across her chest.
“I suggested she take a bath and then she splashed me. Ow,” he yelped as Donna’s hand came up and slapped him on the face.
“Okay, so I was hot and I thought the bath would cool me off.”
Amy looked him over. “And what? The cold shower didn’t work?”
How the hell did she know. . .? Josh checked the bubbles and turned to stare at her. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“That much I got,” Amy offered dryly.
Donna covered her face with her hands and wished the ground would open up and swallow her. The heat had obviously fried her brain or something. She was in the bath with her boss, naked. And now Amy was there and she had turned into a gibbering wreck. Josh for his part, wasn’t doing much better.
“How are you doing, Donna?” the brunette asked as though finally noticing her.
“I’ve been better, and you?” Donna replied, peeking out from between her fingers.
“Well, I’ve spent most of the day interviewing for new jobs, it’s like 100 in my apartment and it looks like I’m going to be looking for a new boyfriend,” Amy said dryly, raising an eyebrow at Josh as he tried to squeeze out from behind Donna.
“Amy?”
She waved a hand at him. “I’m going to go home, have a drink and take a shower.” A long cold shower with lots of shower gel, she concluded. “See you around.” She turned and moved towards the door.
“Amy?”
She stopped in the doorway and turned to find him standing in the bathtub, bubbles dissipating on his groin.
“Yes, J?”
“I. . .look. . . ,” he stammered, glancing down at Donna.
Amy waved him off. “It was inevitable, even predictable. Although I would have expected to find you two in a bed.” She resumed walking.
“I should get going too,” Donna announced, grabbing a towel from the floor and wrapping it around her middle.
Josh watched Amy’s retreating back then turned back to see Donna gathering her clothes. “Donna?”
“I’ll see you at work on Monday,” she called over her shoulder. She desperately needed to get out of there, as far away from him as possible.
He glanced down at his naked body, watching as his erection continued to deflate before his eyes. He shook his head and reached for a towel. He came up empty. With a groan he padded to the closet, dripping all over the floor boards.
It was still hot in the apartment, the fans and open windows having little effect.
Josh pulled out a clean pair of boxers from his drawer and walked to the fridge. It hadn’t been the greatest day of his life. He’d been dumped by his girlfriend, and he’d barely fooled around with his assistant before she’d dropped him too. Either way he wasn’t getting sex anytime soon.
He briefly wondered if it was worth phoning Amy, but common sense told him he’d be wasting his time. Instead he switched on the television to watch the game. At least that way things couldn’t get any worse.
The End