A California man died when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski
area while riding down the slope on a foam pad. 22-year old David Hubal was
pronounced dead at Central Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m.,
the Mono County Sheriff's department said. Hubal and his friends apparently
had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors
from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department.
The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently
used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It
has since been investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with
its pad removed.
Robert Pueblo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When
the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it
into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police found him unconscious in
front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat
where it had choked him to death.
Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging
rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a man
in Arkansas who used the .22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup truck)
popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that
blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the
blasting cap as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D.
Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying
to explode it. It wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll show you how to set it
off." He put it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and his
lips and tongue off, Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition
Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at
Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing something
like that," Payne said.
Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the
skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon from
the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an
initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known
now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend tried
to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye.
Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood
vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon
Doctor Johnny Delashaw at the university Hospital in Portland said the arrow
went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding at the rear of
his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also
said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would
have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had
been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No
charges have been filed, but the Josephine County district attorney's office
said the initiation stunt is under investigation.
A 28-year-old Korean employed by the Xerox Corporation decided it would
be hilarious if he digitally scanned his penis and distributed it to the
entire corporation. The small Korean had just finished up festivities at
the local bar and was quite intoxicated. Xerox had recently ordered 23
shredding devices in an attempt to reduce/recycle the amount of paper
that they use. The unsuspecting Korean pulled down his trousers, and
drunkenly hoisted himself onto what he thought was a copier. Thinking he
was pressing the scan button on a copier, he hit the shred button.
He was found with his scrotum stuck between blades the next morning, and
had died from the loss of blood.
A 25-year-old man died of injuries sustained from a 3-story fall,
precipitated by his attempt to spit farther than his buddy. His plan was
to hurl himself towards a metal guardrail while expectorating, in order
to add momentum to his saliva. In a tragic miscalculation, his momentum
carried him right over the guard-rail, which he caught hold of for a few
moments before his grip slipped, sending him plummeting 24 feet to the
cement below.
A 42-year-old man killed himself watching the eclipse while driving near
Kaiserslautern, Germany. A witness driving behind him stated that the
man was weaving back and forth as he concentrated on the partially
secluded sun, when he suddenly accelerated and hit the bridge pier. He
had apparently just donned his solar viewers, which are dark enough
to totally obscure everything except the sun.
A hunter from Bad Urach was shot dead by his own dog on Monday. The
51-year-old man was found sprawled next to his car in the Black
Forest. A gun barrel was pointing out the window, and his bereaved dog
was howling inside the car. The animal is presumed to have pressed
the trigger with its paw. Police have ruled out foul play.
Under similar circumstances, an Iranian hunter was shot to death near
Tehran by a snake that coiled around his shotgun as he pinned the
reptile to the ground. Another hunter reported that the victim, named
Ali, tried to catch the snake alive by pressing the butt of his shotgun
behind its head. The snake coiled around the butt and pulled the
trigger, shooting Ali in the head.
Drinking oneself to death need not be a long lingering process. Allan, a
33-year-old computer technician, showed his competitive spirit by
dying of competitive spirits. A Sydney, Australia hotel bar held a
drinking competition, known as Feral Friday, with a 100-minute time limit
and a sliding point scale ranging from 1 point for beer to 8 points for
hard liquor. Allan stood and cheered his winning total of 236 (winners
never quit!), which had also netted him the literally staggering blood
alcohol level of 0.353, 7 times than Australia's legal driving limit of
0.05%. After several trips to the usual temple of overindulgence, the
bathroom, Allan was helped back to his workplace to sleep it off, a
condition that became permanent. A forensic hematologist estimated that
after downing 34 beers, 4 bourbons, and 17 shots of tequila within 1 hour
and 40 minutes, his blood alcohol level would have been 0.41 to 0.43, but
Allan had vomited several times after the drinking stopped. The cost paid
by Allan was much higher than that of the hotel, which was fined the
equivalent of $13,100 US dollars for not intervening. He didn't require
any further embalming.
A flock of sheep charged a well-meaning British farmer's wife and pushed her
over a cliff to her death. Betty Stobbs, 67, was charged by dozens of sheep
as she brought them a bale of hay on the back of a power bike. The sheep
rushed forward and rammed the vehicle, knocking Betty and her bike over
the edge of a vacant 100' quarry near Durham, in northeastern England.
"I saw the sheep surround the bike. The next thing she was tumbling down
the incline," neighbor Alan Renfry told reporters.
The switch away from daylight savings time caused consternation among
terrorist groups this year. At precisely 5:30 Israel time on Sunday,
two coordinated car bombs exploded in different cities, killing three
terrorists who were transporting the bombs. It was initially believed
that klutzy amateurs had detonated the devices prematurely. A closer look
revealed the truth behind the untimely explosions. Three days before,
Israel had made a premature switch from Daylight Savings Time to
Standard Time in order to accommodate a week of Slihot, involving
pre-sunrise prayers. Palestinians refused to "live on Zionist time." Two
weeks of scheduling havoc ensued. The bombs had been prepared in a
Palestine-controlled area, and set on Daylight Savings Time. The
confused drivers had already switched to Standard Time. As a result, the
cars were still en route when the explosives detonated, delivering to
the terrorists their well-deserved demise.
Walter Hallas, a 26-year-old store clerk in Leeds, England, was so afraid
of dentists that in 1979 he asked a fellow worker to try to cure his
toothache by punching him in the jaw. The punch caused Hallas to fall down,
hitting his head, and he died of a fractured skull.
PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally
let fly -- and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of dung! Investigators
say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an
olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like a dump truck
full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked
Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him,"
said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there
to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman
came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of
those freak accidents that happen sometimes --a billion-to-one shot, at least."
The heartbreaking tale of constipation and tragedy began April 23 when the
conscientious zookeeper noticed that his prize, 8,000-pound African elephant
didn't seem to be producing his usual poop aplenty. "Friedrich had actually
been concerned for several days because he knew that severe constipation can
kill an elephant," assistant zookeeper Kurt Herrman recalled. "He told me he
was going to stay late that Thursday night to treat Stefan with laxatives and
possibly give him an enema. I offered to help, but he sent me on home, saying
he had everything under control." however, two hours later, horrified night
watchman Walter Pleuger found Friedrich lying lifeless under a mound of muck,
his body visible only from the knees down. "I had never really thought about
it before," Det. Dern said. "But obviously, giving an elephant an enema can
be a very dangerous activity and not something that should be attempted alone."
RENTON, WASHINGTON, USA. A Renton, Washington man tried to commit a robbery.
This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no
previous record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choices as
listed below:
1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms...a gun shop.
2. The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial portion
of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in
public places.
3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked Police patrol car
parked at the front door.
4. An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having coffee
before reporting to duty. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber
announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk
promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool. Several other
customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.
Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with
third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Kenneth E. Richards.
According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian roulette and put a
semi-automatic pistol (instead of the more traditional revolver) to Ken's
head and fired.
PHILLIPSBURG, NJ. An unidentified 29 year old male choked to death on a
sequined pastie he had orally removed from an exotic dancer at a local
establishment. "I didn't think he was going to eat it," the dancer
identified only as "Ginger" said, adding "He was really drunk."
MOSCOW, Russia - A drunk security man asked a colleague at the Moscow bank
they were guarding to stab his bulletproof vest to see if it would protect
him against a knife attack. It didn't, and the 25-year-old guard died of a
heart wound.
In FRANCE, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit
suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around his neck.
He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and
set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment.
He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet missed him completely and cut
through the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into the
sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison.
He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a
hospital, where he died of hypothermia.
[The News Sun Lake County Illinois June 15, 98] An Ingleside, IL man, Daniel
Wyman, age 28, drowned on 6/14/98 at Lake Brandenburg near Fox Lake, IL when
the 14 foot boat in which he was riding was sunk by a firecracker. Lake County
Chief Deputy Coroner James Wipper said it appears Wyman and an other
unidentified person were setting off firecrackers and that they tossed an M-25
firecracker into the water. Wipper said a strong wind blew their 14-foot
aluminum boat over the area of the firecracker, blowing a hole in the boat.
The boat sank immediately. The unidentified man reached safety. Wyman
reportedly could not swim.
LOS ANGELES. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother decided to remove a bees' nest
from a shed on their property with the aid of a pineapple. A pineapple is an
illegal firecracker which is the explosive equivalent of one-half stick of
dynamite. They ignited the fuse and retreated to watch from inside their home,
behind a window some 10 feet away from the hive/shed. The concussion of the
explosion shattered the window inwards, seriously lacerating Ani. Deciding Mr.
Saduki needed stitches, the brothers headed out to go to a nearby hospital.
While walking towards their car, Ani was stung three times by the surviving
bees. Unbeknownst to either brother, Ani was allergic to bee venom, and died
of suffocation en-route to the hospital.
A man hit by a car in New York in 1977 got up uninjured, but lay back down in
front of the car when a bystander told him to pretend he was hurt so he could
collect insurance money. The car rolled forward and crushed him to death.
George Schwartz, owner of a factory in Providence, R.I., narrowly escaped
death when a 1983 blast flattened his factory except for one wall.After
treatment for minor injuries, he returned to the scene to search for files.
The remaining wall then collapsed on him, killing him.
[Seattle Times, April 28, 1998] Bob Herschler, 77, of Olympia, WA, died from
burns suffered last week after he placed a smoldering pipe in his shirt pocket.
The pipe ignited a book of matches and soon Bob�s clothing was ablaze. Family
members quickly extinguished the fire, but not before he suffered third-degree
burns to his chest and abdomen. The Thurston County resident died of pneumonia
brought on by his burns at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle.
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. (Nov. 13) -- A 39-year-old Charlottesville man died
Thursday in a freak accident involving his washing machine. According to
police reports, Samuel Randolph Strickson was doing laundry when he tried to
speed up the process. Strickson apparently tried to stuff approximately 50
pounds of laundry into his washing machine by climbing on top of the washer
and attempting to force the clothing into the basin. Strickson then apparently
accidentally kicked the washing machine's ON button. When the machine turned
on, Strickson lost his balance and both feet went down into the machine, where
they got stuck. The machine started its cycle, and Strickson, unable to free
himself, started thrashing around as the machine's agitator went into gear.
Strickson's head banged against a nearby shelf in the laundry room, knocking
over a bottle of bleach, which poured over Strickson's face, blinding him.
Forensic reports say Strickson apparently also swallowed some of the bleach.
He then vomited, but was still unable to free himself. Strickson's dog, then
apparently came into the laundry room. At about the same time, according to
police, a large box of baking soda fell from the shelf, startling the dog,
who then urinated. Urine, like vinegar, is acidic, and the chemical reaction
between the urine and the baking soda resulted in "a small explosion,"
according to police reports. The dog, however, escaped unharmed. Strickson
remained stuck in the washing machine, which eventually went into its
high-speed spin cycle, spinning Strickson around at about 70 miles per hour,
according to forensic experts. Strickson's head then smashed against a steel
beam behind the washing machine, immediately killing him. A neighbor heard
the commotion and called 911, but Strickson was pronounced dead at the scene.
Kiev (dpa) - A Ukrainian man died of an electric shock when he used a live
electric cable to fish in the river Tereblya, according to press reports
Wednesday. The 43-year-old man connected the cable to the mains in his house
and put it in the water to kill fish by electric shock, the Fakty newspaper
reported. When the dead fish appeared on the water surface, he went to
collect his take. He died of electric shock as the electric cable remained
in the water. The man reportedly intended to use the fish as a mourning meal
to mark the first anniversary of his mother-in-law's death.
[Hickory Daily Record December 21, 1992] Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally
shot himself to death in December in Newton, N.C., when, awakening to the
sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but
grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew
it to his ear.
[UPI, Toronto] Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a
downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and
plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell
into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as
he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law
students. Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength
according to police reports. Peter Lauwers, managing partner of the firm
Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the
best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.
[Kalamazoo Gazette April 1, 95] James Burns, 34, of Alamo, Mich., was killed
in March as he was trying to repair what police described as a "farm-type
truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung
underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns'
clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped
in the drive shaft."
[Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario] Man slips, falls 23 stories to his death. A
man cleaning a bird feeder on his balcony of his condominium apartment in
this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death, police said
Monday. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled chair Sunday when the
accident occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel regional police.
"It appears the chair moved and he went over the balcony," Honer said. "It's
one of those freak accidents. No foul play is suspected."
[AP, Cairo, Egypt August 31, 1995] Six people drowned Monday while trying to
rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18 year
old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned,
apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled him down, police said.
His sister and two brothers, none of whom could swim well, went in one by
one to help him, but also drowned. Two elderly farmers then came to help, but
they apparently were pulled by the same undercurrent. The bodies of the six
were later pulled out of the well in the village of Nazlat Imara, 240 miles
south of Cairo. The chicken was also pulled out. It survived.
[Bloomburg News Service, March 25, 93] A terrible diet and room with no
ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own
gas. There was no mark on his body but autopsy showed large amounts of methane
gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and
a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It
appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing from the poisonous cloud
that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been
opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near
airtight bedroom. He was "...a big man with a huge capacity for creating [this
deadly gas]."Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.
I can not verify the legitimacy of any of the material included on this page. It is presented for amusement only.
