When I was 18, I got pregnant for the first time. Unlike a number of teen moms, i actually wanted to get pregnant. I was so happy when my pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to have my own family. I had been living on my own since I just turned 17, because my mother died, so I didn't think it would be too hard to raise a child. I miscarried at 9 weeks. Many people told me it was 'meant to be', and that I would go on to have another child, but it really traumatized me. I went on to have 3 more miscarriages, all at 9 weeks. I realized that my dream at being a mother was not meant to be. So I gave up on trying to have a baby. I was attending a school for young mothers, and I can't tell you how much it hurt to see all those girls with their beautiful babies, enjoy motherhood, while I stood on the outside looking in. I wasn't just jealous, I was also bitter. I hated the fact that some of them didn't even want their kids, some were on welfare, basically I looked for reasons to dislike them.

It was my own experience, that taught me just how blind society is towards teenaged, and young mothers. I could only see the negative sides of the young women I attended school with. It never occurred to me that pregnancy indeed, 'just happens'. Sure, as young women we have the ultimate responsibility over our bodies, but being young and having that "it will never happen to me" attitude, pregnancy is usually unexpected. Planned or unplanned, pregnancy hardly prepares one for motherhood. No matter the age or background, women hardly appreciate the roles of our mothers, until we ourselves become one. In short, it wasn't until I became a mother myself, did I have respect for the young women who I attended school with.

For others, they do not have the same excuse. Much of society that holds such stigma against young mothers, are parents themselves. many of them do not respect our (young mothers) roles as parents. They believe we are 'children raising children'. They treat and think of us in a condescending manner. Which hardly helps the matter, or reflects a positive light on themselves. The fact is, one cannot have a child without becoming a mother, which is the most important role in our society. It is mothers who raise generation after generation of young souls into the very fabric of our society. Without us, there would be no scientists, or soldiers, or presidents. We teach each and every human being the essence of humanity; how to love, how to nurture, how to be responsible. The lessons taught by us are priceless, and the rewards upon learning them are endless. Age has nothing to do with how good a parent is, neither does race, or financial circumstance. It is the content of one's character that determines their worth.

Certainly, as young mother's, we do not have some of the privileges of older, more experienced parents. Some of us still live with our own parents. Some have not finished college, or bought a house, or are even married. But even those who have all of those things, find motherhood to be challenging. What society should focus on is the fact that the majority of young mothers, today, are not dropping out of school. Many of us are not having baby after baby, while draining the taxpayers money. Most of us, juggle mothering our child(ren), with school and work, because we know that although our babies aren't mistakes, we could have waited longer. Young mothers, in increasing numbers, are making responsible goals towards our futures, because we know that the only way to make it, is with an education, and career.

In closing, society should not see helping young/teenaged mothers as a 'hand-out', but rather as a 'hand-up'. It has been well documented that those who are amongst the poorest of the poor, when they reach a level of higher income, turn around and give back to the community. People helping people should be our standard. No young woman should be ashamed because she has a child, or needs help. Society should not think that helping young mothers will encourage other teenagers to get pregnant. For the young women who do want to get pregnant, usually nothing short of a blast of reality will deter them from pregnancy anyways. Send one of them to my house for a few days, I need a break.

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