The first few days and weeks after Jayden's arrival were not easy. I don't care what they say about the last sleepess few weeks of pregnancy. They in no way prepare new parents for the reality of having a first child. Heres my story:

After the birth of Jayden, Glen walked out on me. So I had to take care of me and the baby all by myself. Our first day home from the hospital was okay. My father was there so he helped me out by cooking dinner, but for breakfast and lunch I was on my own. The first thing I did was give my son a bath. It immediately relaxed me, and I thought, "hey, I am pretty good at this motherhood thing". Haha good luck fool. Anyways, the day went by pretty uneventful. Besides the fact that his father had just called to tell me he was leaving the country and would never see us again, and I had no strolle for the baby, and I just had a c-section, and a creditor had just called and verbally assaulted me over a $25 library fine. Okay, the day was shit. But I got through it.

What I wasn't prepared for was the fact that I would be so emotional. That I would have to feed this tiny, squealing thing 8-10 times a day, that he would need me for everything, and that I would get no sleep. That's right, NO DAMN SLEEP. Ask any new mother how she is feeling, and I guarantee she'll look at you like a dayum fool and say, "tired". Duh! So, don't ask, just know aight? so, that first night, I awoke to Jayden's cries, about 3 times. My poor back was killing me from carrying his weight for months, and the spinal, so I couldn't just sit up in bed and breastfeed, so bleary eyed, and exhausted I would stumble my way into the living room to sit and watch t.v, while he sucked the energy out of me. Nice.

Days went by, I asked every mother, and nurse that I knew when, when, dear God, when will he stop sucking at my tits? When? They all said, that around 6 week, babies start to sleep through the night. So I gritted my teeth and I bared it. I tried to sleep when he slept, which was almost all the time, but my body wouldn't let me. I thought of my poor father doing everything for us, and so instead of sleeping I would wash the dishes, or boil bottles. When I fell asleep, Jayden would awaken, as if to say, "Oh no Mama, you ain't getting off that easy." So, basically the first few weeks I felt the world was going to end. I cried, and cried every time I looked at my newborn son, because he looked just like his daddy. I cried when he peed on me for the first time. I cried when I watched Jenny Jones, and this bad ass little boy told Raymond Moses (the bootcamp guy) he wanted his daddy *sob*whimper*moan* Give him his daddy Raymond! Give him his daddy!!!!

Slowly my son, began to wake up for fewer and fewer feeding. His daddy came around a month later. We had sex. I lost 43 pounds in 3 weeks. My iron levels began to rise, and I got more energy. I stopped falling aslep evrytime I breastfed. I began to walk. My son smiled at me. He held my finger in his tiny hand. It was okay, I could deal with this. Now he sleeps through the night, he awakens only once for a feeding, and he laughs at me, his crazy mama. I love him, and I would do it all over again. Walking, crying, no time to bathe, zombie or not.

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