I never thought the day would come
The year anniversary of the death of my son...
Many unanswered questions
And many sleepless nights.
The empty place inside
Still reaches new heights.
He would be one year old...
One year, 28 Days...
But he hasn't grown any older
Four weeks old he still remains.
I still long to hold him
To touch his sweet, soft skin.
I still hold tight the dreams
Of raising up my twins.
Still I'm as proud
As a Mommy can be...
I still have 2 angels
Who are a part of me.
And when someone asks
How many children I ahve
I will always say "2"
And hold the tears back.
For losing a child
Is never-ending grief
But we must all go on
With new-found beliefs.
Still we go on
Through unknown-to-us strenths
These children we've lost
Stretch our hearts to new lengths.
They taught us in life
And are teaching us still
That we must continue our journey
Though at times it is uphill.
We bereaved parents learn so much
But we've still so much to teach.
How can everyone once so close to us
Now be so out of reach?
People expect us to just "move on"
And think it's our own free will
They just don't understand
That the grieving goes on still.
It's a never-ending process
And mine has just begun.
Though Baby Jayden now lives in Heaven,
He will always be my son.
And though a year has passed
Since he had to go,
It hurts as though it were yesterday
I still -and always will- miss him so.
I love you Baby Jayden,
Mommy
September 17, 2002
They say that twins are different
Some are as night and day.
And I'll be the first to agree
With what "they" have to say.
I, too, have identical twin boys
Whom I love with all my heart.
And though they are identical,
They are very easy to tell apart.
While ones needs constant attention
And loves to laugh and play,
The other is very quiet,
Just watches from afar all the day.
And one is very active,
Never sitting still or stopping.
And his brother still wacthes quietly,
Never jumping, never hopping.
These differences are small, however
Because since 28 days past their births
My angels live in different places...
One in Heaven and one on Earth.
To my darling twin boys, Blayze Allen & Jayden Anthony. Mommy loves you with all her heart.
August 2002
