| OCTOBER 2003 continued: |
| Friday October 24, 2003: Well I haven't heard anything yet. So that could be a good thing, no denial again. It's getting increasingly harder to keep pushing forward. A part of me just wants to give up, I'm so tired. And another part of me knows that if I don't go through with this now, it will never happen and things will just get worse. It's so fustrating and discouraging. I'm tired of hearing that things happen for a reason. I have to file for an extension this week on my unemployment benefits, hopefully I will get them. If not I will have to abandon everything. I know, I'm all doom and gloom, but to be honest I feel worse than what I am writing here. I'm hoping against hope things start to turn around for the better, and soon. I'm afraid money is soon going to become a bigger problem than it is now, and that I will lose my health insurance and then nothing will ever happen. I am tired of sitting on the side lines. I want to be in the game to play NOW! Well maybe Monday I wll have better news, we'l just have to wait and see. |
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| Monday October 27, 2003: Well it's been raining all day, what a bummer. I haven't been sleeping well at all, last night was the worst. I'm still considering going back on medication for depression. I think it's triggering my insomnia, and that's definitely not something I want to go through again. And going back on meds is the last thing I want either, but it might have to happen. Still no word yet from my lawyer or the state. I hope I will hear something this week. At least to hear that I have become elligible again for an external appeal. Nothing else happening, so ciao for now!!! |
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| Wedneday October 29, 2003: Okay so today was a day for phone calls. I spoke with my lawyer, IPRO (external agent), the NYS Insurance Dept., and CA Insurance Depart. So the bad news is, I have to file with California. The good news, well there is no good news. So tomorrow I am going to become the thorn in Cigna's side. I am going to call everyone and speak to everyone. Cursing, screaming and crying if I have to. I want someone to speak to me and tell me why they have denied me. What's making matters worse for me is that my back is killing me. I can't stand or sit for too long. I think the weight in my back is starting to compress my vertabre (old injury) and when it hurts it's hard to breathe. So I have an appointment for next week with my PCP to document this too. I wonder if Ca has any laws keeping me from suing my insurance company? I just wanted to say thank you for anyone sticking with me through all this and reading my journals. I hope once this is all said and done, it helps anyone else in my position to not give up. I wont. |
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| Friday October 31, 2003: Just want to wish everyone a very scary halloween, have a happy and safe one, and remember if you're not having fun being scared......then it's not Halloween!!!!!!!!! |