July 26, 2004:
Nothing much has changed, I am still in my predictament. I really shouldn't call it a predictament, because it's nothing short of a miracle. I'm pregnant. Yes I know, I'm only 6 months out and I'm 6 weeks pregnant. We weren't planning this at all. And to be honest the timing stinks. Between being so soon after surgery and that we are looking to move ?ASAP. But there is nothing we can do but pray everything goes alright. I have spoken with my OB/GYN and she did some research for me. Yes it jeopardizes my weight loss, now you know why I haven't lost any weight these past couple of weeks, but what am I going to be selfish and say I need to lose the weight first then have a baby. It's not that I'm against abortion, but it shouldn't be an excuse. If God forbid, my doctor tells me that my situation with my weight loss and surgery is causing harm to the baby, then a different decision will be made. I am still nervous because I still have PCOS and that can cause problems in itself.
So am I happy, yes and no. I never thought I could get pregnant. My body is going through so many changes, it's really stressful, but its amazing at the same time. I'm still torn because I am not sure this is the right choice, but unless I am told otherwise I will take my baby to term. It's been hard and I haven't slept much these past few weeks, but I can't bring myself to any other decision. I haven't told my surgeon yet, I know they are not going to be thrilled, because it is too soon, but I will be the first patient he has that is pregnant. So now he can study me.
I'm already showing, which is weird, my whole abdomen is swollen, almost as if I had never lost that weight. Which sucks, but the nutritionist said that she will teach me how to eat for me and my baby, so I don't gain too much and the baby gets enough. Pray I have made the right choice, and that we all make it though this together. Catch up with you guys on Wednesday. |
