"Why I Hate People"
Jasie Belts Out A Silly Rant
Some time way fucking back in May 2002

It's no secret that I hate people. For as long as I can remember, and probably until the day I die, (which will most likely be due to lung cancer, thanks to you god damn cigarette smokers) I have despised people in general. Of course, there are several exceptions, but on the whole, most people piss me off quite effectively.

Less obvious to those who are not me (ie: everyone) may be why I hate them all so much. And I'd be more than glad to tell you why: people are fucking morons. No wait, don't get offended yet, even if this applies to you. I'm hardly one to claim any kind of superior intellect. Let's be honest, I'm no better than anyone else, except at Virtua Fighter 4, where I am the undisputed master of all I survey. And I don't even like that game. In fact, I down right hate the damn thing. Any one of you sweat stained Eminem shirt wearing slobs who claims the superiority of that yawn-fest of a game has deep seated psychological problems. And you're wrong. So very wrong. But I digress.

...I mean, come on. Virtua Fighter 4? What the fuck are you thinking? I don't care how long that series of "games", and I use the term loosely, has been around. They suck, and the fourth installment is no different. To prove my point, allow me to present to you a small play I have written, entitled: "Virtua Fighter 4 is a Game For Fucktards"*.

*(Working Title)

Interior: Some dilapidated shed, in the middle of Arkansas.
Fucktard #1 is sitting upon a pile of old newspapers.
Fucktard #2 enters via a sewer opening, you know... because he lives in a sewer, or something.

Fucktard #1: "Hey howdy, Fucktard #2! What brings you to this neck of the woods, eh?"

Fucktard #2: "Word up, homie! I just stole this game from some biznatches down the street, dawg! This shiznit looks rah-digga'!"

Fucktard #1: "Virtua Fighter 4? Oh! I've heard about that, eh! It's supposed to be really bad-ass, according to my friend from down the street! You know, the one that doesn't know jack about shit, eh?"

Fucktard #2: "Yo, why you talkin' like that? You ain't Canadian..."

Fucktard #1: "I dunno'. Why are you talking like that? You weren't raised in the ghetto."

Fucktard #2: "Yo! Don't fuckin' oppress me, man! I'll take this game and leave!"

Fucktard #1: "Fine, I'm sorry. Can we play it or not?"

Fucktard #2: "Fo' shizzle."

It was at this point that I got tired of writing, so I went to play EverQuest instead. My Ogre warrior is level 10, and he almost killed an Elf. But the message still rings clear: Virtua Fighter 4, and anyone who loves it, sucks. And I hate people. Especially you damn cigarette smokers. But especially you, Elf who ran away from me while I was trying to kill you with my Ogre, whatever your damn name was. You can all go to hell.