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"Anarchy Online"
Developed and Published By: Funcom Anarchy Online, developed by Funcom, is the first science fiction (Bullshit.) based persistant online (Bullshit.) role-playing game. Thousands of players world-wide can cooperate (Bullshit.) in a rich, futuristic world of cutting edge graphics (Ok, that part is true, but the rest is bullshit.) and sound.
![]() Anarchy Online is yet another contender in the ruthless, Darwinian struggle that is the "massively multiplayer online games defined with stupid over-sized acronyms" (MMOGDwSOSA) industry. The big draw is that AO takes place in a futuristic world, as opposed to the typical fantasy environment used in other, similar games. Oh, and it's buggy as fucking hell too. Saying that this game has a few glitches is an understatement on par with saying that Charles Manson was just a little bit eccentric, or that Stephen Hawking is kinda' smart. You get the idea. My point is that Funcom really dropped the ball on this one, and not with hilarious results, which is known to happen on occasion. It's almost a shame, because I was geniunely interested in this game, you know, before I found out how god damn awful it was. What's worse is that for the first two months after AO went live (and by "went live", I mean "was released dead-on-fucking-arrival"), I couldn't even log in, let alone find myself disappointed because of how much it sucked. Eventually though, the petty server god decided that my total investment of seventy frickin' dollars was enough to warrant allowing me access to the wretched litter box that is AO. And I was hooked! ...Right until I got out of the character creation area, and found out how completely fucked up the actual game world was. Aside from the assload of glitches that come standard with this game, there really isn't much else that sets it apart from the rest of the genre. Your entire existance within this alternate reality amounts to a leveling treadmill, very much like EverQuest. Unlike EverQuest, however, the game code itself does everything it can to stop you from building up your character. So not only must you fight through dozens of armies of legions of mindless NPCs, you'll also find yourself getting disconnected at least once per hour. To be honest, this game's only redeeming aspect is the quality of the graphics. There were several times where I was almost in awe of my surroundings, much like the way people from Kentucky find themselves in awe of anyone who bathes regularly. All good things must come to an end though, and all it takes is my character's head disappering from his body, not being able to shoot at an enemy because a table is blocking his knees, or something equally retarded, to remind me of just how much I hate this worthless game. A racist, sexist, vulgarity spewing midget with Tourret's Syndrome couldn't say enough insulting things about this game. And believe me, he would try for many, many hours, after witnessing such an atrocity. How in the hell this box of 100% Grade "F" ass was dropkicked into the public's hands in such a pitiful shape is beyond the scope of my admittedly limited comprehension. I think it's pretty damn safe to say that EverQuest, Ultima Online, and Asheron's Call have absolutely nothing to fear from this red-headed stepchild of a game. Go to hell, Anarchy Online. P.S. - I've got a copy of Anarchy Online just collecting dust on my shelf, and if anyone wants it, then read the fucking review again, you braindead jackass.
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