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"HIV Muppet - Proof That Humanity Is Fucked" If you're anything like me, then chances are you don't really give a shit about issues currently plaguing the world today. Many nations are rife with war and poverty as we speak, yet my greatest fear is that my stock of Mountain Dew will run out, and I'll be forced to waste ten minutes of my life going to the store to pick up another case. However I recently stumbled across an international event so shocking, that I just had to do a sarcastic article on it. Well, I didn't have to do anything, but my website will shrivel up and die if I don't make with the funny stuff, so here goes. As you may or may not (probably not) know, 4.7 million South Africans are HIV positive. Yahoo! News went one step further, and did some advanced calculus-esque mathematics to discover that number amounts to 1 in every 9 people. That officially qualifies them to win the "Liquid Fluff: Epidemic of the Week" Award. Congratulations, South Africa! You've shared enough needles and fucked enough strangers to decimate your entire population! Don't turn off your computer and commit ritualistic suicide yet, because it gets worse. How many of you remember "Sesame Street"? The once beloved children's television show can be seen in various countries outside of the United States. This story involves the recently "modified" version of the series that airs in South Africa. In an effort to ditch the responsibility of having to teach their kids about important issues, namely a certain fucking HIV epidemic, the people have opted to allow a fictional character to explain to children about how badly their parents fucked up. What does that mean, exactly? It means that they're adding an HIV positive muppet to "Sesame Street". Now, maybe you're some kind of brain dead idiot, and that last part didn't quite sink in yet. I'll do you a favor and repeat it, with bold text this time. They're adding an HIV positive muppet to South Africa's Sesame Street. Perhaps it's just me, but the whole concept of teaching your nation's youth about a rampant, life threatening virus with the help of a fucking muppet seems a bit... uh... desperate? Not to mention that they've totally bastardized what used to be a normal show about HIV negative muppets that played a whole lot of counting games. I'll bet Jim Henson is rolling over in his grave. You know, unless he's still alive or something. I can't honestly be expected to keep track of shit like that.
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