THIS WEEK'S STORY

Duke the Mouse In:
ONE RULE TOO MANY

    Oh, you know my pet mouse, Duke. And if you don't, you'll know him a little better after I finish with this story. In case you've never heard of him, he is a mouse and he is my pet and we get along well most of the time. But when it comes to rules, Duke is totally out of control.
    I mean, I like rules as much as the next guy but Duke loves rules. And he told me the rules were for me as well as him. Just the other day he posted a list of new rules for the house. What do we need more rules for? I think things are just fine, but not Duke. Here's some of the rules: Always clean your fur with your tongue after eating. Yuck. Well, I don't have any fur and if I did . . . well, I just don't and the whole idea of—see what I mean?!
    Here's another of Duke's silly rules: Always clean out a coffee cup after you've been sleeping in it. Ok, I have never slept in a coffee cup and I will never sleep in a coffee cup and if I did, I'm not going to clean it out.
    You want to hear more? See what I mean about these rules? Here's one: Never throw away stinky cheese. As far as I'm concerned that's the reason it needs to be thrown away. It stinks. If it stinks, well, it's not good enough to eat and there's only one place for it: the trash.
    Oh, here's a good one: Only mice are allowed to make rules. I don't think so! What kind of a world would we have if mice were in charge, especially Duke the Mouse? He's the laziest mouse in the entire—oh, another rule I forgot about: no one is allowed to say anything about lazy mice. Well, put me down as a rule breaker of the first degree. If you don't give somebody a few helpful suggestions than this is a pretty sad world we live in, as far as I'm concerned.
    Let's see, how about another crazy rule by that silly mouse of mine. Oh, this isn't so bad: each meal should always be followed by a dish of ice cream. Well, maybe that mouse isn't so bad after all. I wonder if I can keep that rule and toss out the rest. That sounds like a pretty good rule to me.
    And that's the way it is with Duke.