Simple Instruction: A Man's Handbook
(this is a compilation from friends, emails and what-not. ) these are dating tips i suppose.
1.Don't tell her how much money you make; sell your personality, not your susceptibility to extortionist divorce settlements.
2.Don't get drunk. You look stupid, and you say stupid things.
3.Do not use the word "proactive" unless she's specifically told you of her mad attraction to motivational speakers.
4.Do not refer to your "issues" unless she's specifically told you of her mad attraction to men in analysis.
5.Don't dress creatively. On a first date, she needs reassurance that you're normal. Prove you're a "funky guy" some other time.
6.Don't give everything away, especially on the family/ex-girlfriend tragedy front.(a) You'll need something to talk about on the second and third dates. And (b) there's a very real chance she may never return from the ladies' room.
7.Avoid leaving your shirt unbuttoned to your navel. Imagination is a powerful thing.
8.Avoid the Ricky Martin impersonation; dancing is risky and also provokes questions (see number 7).
9.Don't go on and on about high school. There's a certain kind of man for whom the mid- to late teen years still factor as the most glorious period of his life. Chances are she is not interested in getting to know this man any better.
10. If it was your idea to go out, it's your responsibility to pick up the check. If it was hers, its still your responsibility to pick up the check.
Things to know
Men think women make fun of them to make them feel bad. What they don't know is that this is actually a dirty little trick with not one, but two goals. The first is to see if you can respond confidently and with a sense of humor. The second is just to see if you respond. If we make fun of you and we can tell that you're thinking, Gee, this girl has an opinion about me, and I feel the need to improve it, then we know you like us.
Some pick up lines may not work, but win you creativity points. Some lose you the game.
Let her catch you admiring her.
When you're trying to impress a woman, never utter these words at the cusp of an evening: "So, what do you feel like doing?" A true Casanova takes charge. He has a plan.
You will be doing the chasing.... and on another note, you will be lucky if I slow down long enough to let you catch me.
There is no such thing as constructive criticism when it comes to a woman's weight. When one is found breaching the subject, it is not the time to be objective nor honest. Unless you are saying how wonderful she looks, keep your opinion to yourself and your mouth shut.
Create an intimate atmosphere whenever you can. Invite her to dinner at your place, reserve a cozy table at a fine restaurant, encourage her to slip away from the party for a starlit stroll... Privacy.
There's a magical quality to mirrors, candlelight, and silver, women find it enchanting.
It's not that we HATE you looking at our breasts; it's just that seeing you do it is creepy. The stare, obviously, is bad, and the quick, subtle glance is never as quick or subtle as you hope.
Provide your lady with something decadent. This could be a single chocolate truffle (gift-wrapped) or an ice-cream sundae that the two of you share. Indulgence is the removal of a single brick that significantly weakens the temple.
Women love unexpected gifts. Make hers personal rather than trendy, small rather than large, silly rather than serious--something only she can appreciate.
Touch her, often and gently, to reassure her that you are focused on her.
To end a relationship: Separation should always be by mutual consent. No heartache, no revenge. If she clings, find her a more suitable man.
To be handsome: Dress handsome, talk handsome, act handsome. If you believe it, if you radiate it, women will see you that way:
Touch her hip bones.
wear the shirt that perfectly matches your eyes
Stand close -- so close that she can hear your breathing and feel your heartbeat in her chest or neck.
Real men drive manuals.
I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
I expect you to call me.
Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not.
When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.
A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.
�It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...
You look hot in hooded clothing items.
For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
You're cute when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking.
I love it when you're sweaty.
I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.
Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.
A lady should always be greeted with kisses.
people have just clued in
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