Name: Jaqi
Religion: I love Jesus
You'll Say: Hey Dude! Whats with all the ugly chicks?
He'll Say: You were a total mistake
(I could take that quiz all day. funny stuff)
I am just a hopeless romantic.My head has been filled to saturation with thoughts and ideas of the perfect romance that I will live. That is why when it comes down to it, I never really stop looking. No matter how good I've got it; I always feel like I'm missing something. It seems I cannot live one day without the thought that I've settled for less than perfect. I have been so tainted by romantic books and movies that I have the notion that unless hearts and flowers are pouring from every nook that I am not completely happy. I can't help wonder if it isn't so, but then again, I can't help but to step back and try to re-examine rality.
Reality seems to me to have little to do with my hopeless notions. But why then do all of these movies exist? Is it just to perpetuate this fairytale that every woman wants to live or does it truely exist? Is it possible that no one has experienced such things but only imagined them, or does every idea come from some real life experience, in which case many a person has experienced that which I am in lack of? I am just at a place of confusion. I believe this is why romantic movies make me want to quit my life and begin again in attempts to find what I was really meant to have, not what I have "settled" for. I always feel jipped, that whomever I am dating has real life flaws and doesn't live to make my life easier.
I want the man that rides in on the white horse, stands when I leave a table, and knows when, and more importantly, when-not to leave. He has no visible flaws. He loves to cook and clean for me and doesn't sleep much if at all for fear that he would miss a moment of watching the glory of my precious sleep. He knows no fear, other than hurting me, and will jump at the opportunity to go do some Wednesday night karaoke with me. He sings hopeless love songs ans spends all day thinking of me. He sees none of my flaws. He is insanely jealous yet completely secure in our relationship. He is rugged and preppy and strong and sensitive, tactful and considerate, well mannered and brilliant. He has a smile that looks as though it cost him 30 grand. He has a golden tan from working outside in the sun, although he is most probably a doctor of internal medicine. He bears no tan lines but he would never go to a tanning bed. His job takes us to exotic locations but he would move on a whim if I decided to work. He provides whatever I need, exceeds my every expectation and says I am never a nag. He takes out the garbage without being asked and hangs on my every word as he helps do the dishes. He lives to spend quality time with me and is sensitive enough to know when I need to be alone. He is his own man, totally self-sufficient yet completely dependant upon me. I always have to end a cuddling session or embrase for he never would. He erases my every concern and nurses me back to health when suvffering from a common cold or life-threatening illness. He is incredible with children and my family loves and embraces him almost as much as they do me. He is in every way perfect without flaw or mar.
I know he doesn't exist and that I am just torturing myself, but I just can't seem to escape this thought. I just don't understand why life doesn't mirror the movies I am so fond of. I apologize for not being able to fully accept my reality and the blessings therein, but my confustion leaves much to be desired. I don't know where to go from here, but I am trying. I am honestly trying to figuree this all out. This may be an apology or serve as an explanation, but whatever it is, it remains as incomplete as I.
"I recently decided what I want to be."
"What is that?"
"I want to be a tear."
"Why?"
"That way baby, I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheek, and die on your sweet lips.
Sickening eh? Du-ah-Du. He is so funny.
Heres some other Jonny materpieces, except I have to generalize, b/c I cant remember the exact wording...
"You should bring band-aids"
"Why?"
"I might fall for you and I could scrape my knees."
And he left this voicemail last night:
"This is Jonny and I've lost something....I think I left my heart in your hands"
