"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for temperature and the pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until All Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in that area, then (2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.
(This student got the only "A".)

Archaeologists recently discovered a smaller scroll hidden in the cylinder of the first scroll of the ancient Biblical scriptures, believed to be the actual "first page" of the Bible. When deciphered, it read:
Copyright (c) 300 B.C. God.
All Rights Reserved
First scrawling

First-Sunrise-After-Stonehenge-Keystone-Is-Shadowed, 300 B.C. All beings, places and events depicted in this work are fictional, and any resemblance to actual beings, places and events past, present or future is purely coincidental.

WARNING: Some of the actions performed in this work are dangerous and should only be attempted by professionals familiar with the action in question.

NOTE: Those tiny points of light in the sky when it gets dark are called 'stars'. Some of them do blow up on occasion. In no way should this be construed as a sign that there is, beneath such an explosion, any form of saviour. Should such a misconstrual happen, the author will not be held responsible for the avalanche of arrogance, zeal, bigotry, humanocentricity and other vile acts which will surely follow the residents of the planet into time eternal until someone sees fit to erase the denizens of the world and let the author start over.

DSBN 0-000000-0000-1Suggested retail: 1 sheep."

So you think YOU'RE computer illiterate? Check out the following excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article. We're not as bad as we think.
1. Compaq is considering changing the command Press any key" to "Press the Enter key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "any" key is.
2. Gateway support had a caller complain that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The dust cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. A Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes (floppies). After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failure to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer had rolled them into a typewriter to type the labels.
4. Another Gateway customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the diskettes.
5. A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the technician to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his office.
6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered that the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding in front of the monitor and pressing the "Send" key.
7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a technician suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the customer replied. When told that Egghead was a software store, the man said "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."
8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling his bath tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
9. A Gateway technician spoke to a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was bad" and an "invalid." The technician explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid entry" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
10. An exasperated caller to Dell couldn't get her new computer to turn on. After making sure the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response was I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.
11. A customer called Compaq to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
12. This guy calls in to complain that he gets an Access Denied" message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and password in capital letters. Tech Support says "OK, let's try once more, but use lower case letters." To which the customer replied "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."
13. True story from a Novell NetWire technician: Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I'm within my warranty period. How do I get it fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say cup holder?" Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer." Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?" Caller: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '32X.' on it." At this point the technician had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and had snapped it off the drive.

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off. The egg mutters, to no-one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered that question!"

In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.
The University of Wisconsin, unsatisfied with these findings, spent $13.27 (for a Playboy, a Penthouse, and a case of Old Milwaukee) and concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

In the beginning there was the computer. And God said

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c:\>Let there be light!

Enter user id.

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c:\>God

Enter password.

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c:\>Omniscient

Password incorrect. Try again.

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c:\>Omnipotent

Password incorrect. Try again.

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c:\>Technocrat

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

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c:\>Let there be light!

Unrecognizable command. Try again.

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c:\>Create light

Done

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c:\>Run heaven and earth

And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

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c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light

Unrecognizable command. Try again.

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c:\>Create firmament

Done.

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c:\>Run firmament

And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

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c:\>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and

Too many characters in specification string. Try again.

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c:\>Create dry_land

Done.

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c:\>Run firmament

And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

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c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night

Unspecified type. Try again.

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c:\>Create sun_moon_stars

Done

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c:\>Run sun_moon_stars

And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

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c:\>Create fish

Done

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c:\>Create fowl

Done

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c:\>Run fish, fowl

And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.

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c:\>Create cattle

Done

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c:\>Create creepy_things

Done

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c:\>Now let us make man in our image

Unspecified type. Try again.

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c:\>Create man

Done

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c:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth

Too many command operands. Try again.

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c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 6 errors.

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c:\>Insert breath

Done

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c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 5 errors.

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c:\>Move man to Garden of Eden

File Garden of Eden does not exist.

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c:\>Create Garden.edn

Done

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c:\>Move man to Garden.edn

Done

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c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 4 errors.

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c:\>Copy woman from man

Done

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c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 2 errors.

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c:\>Create desire

Done

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c:\>Run multiplication

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

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c:\>Create freewill

Done

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c:\>Run freewill

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

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c:\>Undo desire

Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

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c:\>Destroy freewill

Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

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c:\>Help

Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

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c:\>Create tree_of_knowledge

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

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c:\>Create good, evil

Done

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c:\>Activate evil

And God saw he had created shame.

Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Garden.edn. 1 errors.

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c:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman

Search failed.

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c:\>Delete shame

Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.

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c:\>Destroy freewill

Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help

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c:\>Stop

Unrecognizable command. Try again

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c:\>Break

c:\>Break

c:\>Break

ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.

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c:\>Create new world

You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.

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c:\>Destroy earth

Destroy earth: Please confirm.

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c:\>Destroy earth confirmed

COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.

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And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.