In Dreams

 

By

 

Jan

 

 

Chapter 14

 

Nikki listened sadly as the haunting sound of Crystal Gordon singing ‘Amazing Grace’ echoed around Larkhall.

 

All but the hardest heart was moved by the knowledge that a young mother, Rachel Hicks, had taken her own life.

 

That morning at breakfast, she had given vent to the anger they were all feeling, castigating the officers for their callousness towards the inmates, her own heartbreak over Trisha momentarily forgotten.

 

 

Helen gave a deep sigh as she listened to the report of Rachel’s suicide on her car radio as she drove to work. It just seemed to be one nightmare after another, first the Carol Byatt incident and now this.

 

Jim Fenner had made it clear he blamed her for Rachel’s death. ‘You told us to keep an eye on Wade last night when you knew Rachel was having problems but clearly a murdering dyke was more important than a young kid!’ he had retorted accusingly.

 

‘I had good reason to believe that Nikki Wade might try to harm herself,’ had been her only defence.

 

She drew into her reserved parking space outside the prison and, after signing in, hurried quickly to her office. She had a meeting with Stubberfield and she wasn’t looking forward to it one bit.

 

 

Nikki was having her own nightmare. As she waited in the queue for breakfast, she could hear Zandra Plackett again recounting the details of how she had woken up to find Rachel hanging from her bunk. Bewailing the fact that her nerves were shot to pieces and they wouldn’t give her anything for them. Nikki smiled wryly. No doubt she would soon procure something in this place to ‘calm her nerves’!

 

“It’s a real tragedy,” the grating tones of Shell Dockley reached her ears. “Nice kid an’ all. Still got to look on the bright side,” she gave a shrill brittle laugh. “It means there’s an extra portion this morning.”

 

“Why you bloody bitch!” Nikki’s composure finally slipped and she launched herself over the servery, knocking a surprised Dockley to the ground.

 

Urged on by the other women, they fought for several seconds, attacking each other physically and verbally, until the officers dragged them apart.

 

 

Helen’s misgivings about the meeting were well founded because, to her dismay, Jim Fenner was also present and he wasted no time in laying the blame firmly at her door. As she read the preliminary report of the investigation, she could hear Fenner making scoffing noises beside her.

 

“So we still don’t know why it happened?” Stubberfield demanded when she had finished reading.

 

“It happened because we didn’t care,” Fenner interjected smugly before Helen had time to speak. “She’d had some bad news during the day about her little girl so what do we do? We move her onto basic and put her in with a couple of druggies and a religious nutter!”

 

“She smashed up her cell and she should have been on the block,” Helen replied defensively.

 

“Instead you put her in a cell where she killed herself,” Stubberfield interposed accusingly.

 

Helen’s lips pursed angrily. She was never going to win against these two. They were of the ‘old school’ and closed ranks on her whenever possible. “If that’s all, Simon, I have a meeting with Mrs Hicks this morning,” she said stiffly.

 

“You’d better be in on that, Jim.”

 

“Whatever you say, sir,” Fenner replied smugly.

 

“I think I can manage on my own, Simon!” Helen retorted, trying to keep her anger in check.

 

“That will be all, Jim.” Stubberfield looked at the principal officer apologetically. “And thanks for coming.”

 

“Sir,” Fenner replied with a sly smirk at Helen before he left the office.

 

“Are you and Jim getting on alright?” Stubberfield asked regarding her intently.

 

“Yes, sir,” she muttered.

 

“Well, it doesn’t look like it to me!” he retorted. “Your inexperience is showing, Helen, and I think a seasoned officer like Jim could teach you a thing or two.”

 

Helen bit back an angry retort. She had seen Fenner’s methods and she didn’t want any truck with them.

 

“Alright then, run along and let me know how you and Jim get on with Mrs Hicks,” he replied patronisingly.

 

She left the office, just resisting the overwhelming urge to slam the door.

 

 

“Nikki Wade’s been put on the block, ma’am,” Lorna Rose informed Helen as she handed her a pile of reports. “ She attacked Shell Dockley.”

 

Not again, Helen thought irritably but said aloud, “Bring Nikki to my office at eleven-thirty.”

 

“Are you sure, ma’am?” Lorna looked at her quizzically. “I mean, what about her adjudication?”

 

“I don’t need you to tell me how to do my job, Lorna!” Helen exclaimed. “When they make you the Wing Governor, you can make the decisions! Bring Nikki Wade to my office at eleven-thirty!”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” Lorna agreed nervously and scurried out of the office.

 

Helen exhaled noisily. She had just taken it out on Lorna for Stubberfield and Fenner but she was growing sick and tired of her every order and decision being questioned.

 

 

At eleven-thirty there was a knock on her door and Lorna ushered Nikki in. It had been a long morning. The meeting with Mrs Hicks hadn’t gone well and as usual Fenner had come out of it smelling of roses.

 

“Sit down, Nikki,” she said with a faint smile only to receive a look of derision from the tall inmate. “I said, sit down!” she repeated forcefully. Their eyes locked in a battle of wills until Nikki sank sulkily onto a chair. “Thank you. Now, do you want to tell me why you attacked Michelle Dockley?”

 

“No!”

 

“I’m getting sick and tired of this, Nikki. Just lately, every time there’s trouble in here, you’re at the centre of it.”

 

“Can I help it if I’m popular?” Nikki replied with a sarcastic smirk.

 

Helen glared at her. “I’m sure a transfer out of here would wipe that smile off your face.”

 

“Go ahead!” Came the defiant reply. “Why don’t you do us both a favour?”

 

The Wing Governor shook her head in disbelief. “Is that what you really want? To go away from Trisha?”

 

Nikki shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me. I’ve dumped her anyway.”

 

Helen studied the inmates for a few moments before replying. Behind the bravado she could see pain in Nikki’s brown eyes. “Had you been together a long time?”

 

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Nikki snapped. “We’re only dykes so it doesn’t count, does it? But for your information, it was nine years.”

 

“I’m sorry. I…”

 

“I don’t need your sympathy!” Nikki exclaimed.

 

“You love playing the martyr, don’t you, Nikki?” She stood up and paced around the room before leaning on the desk, her hands splayed and looked Nikki squarely in the eye. “Well, not this time. You can go.”

 

Nikki looked at her in surprise. “Go? But…”

 

Helen suppressed a smile. “What’s wrong? Spoilt your plans, have I, Saint Nikki?”

 

“No, I…”

 

“Well, this is a first, Nikki Wade lost for words,” she said mockingly. “I’m sticking my neck out for you, Nikki. God knows why but I am!”

 

Nikki rose slowly to her feet. “Yes, miss. Can I go now…please?”

 

Helen nodded and gave herself a mental pat on the back. It looked as if something had finally gone right for her today. Nikki Wade…humbled! She frowned. Somehow that thought didn’t give her as much pleasure as it should have done.

 

At the door, Nikki turned and looked at her, confusion masking her lovely face before she quietly left the office and went back to her cell. She dropped down onto her bunk and stretched out. Just when she thought she had Stewart sussed she went and did something unpredictable. Tears stung the back of her eyes. It was the first real kindness anyone had shown her in this place. She had even seemed genuinely sorry about her break up with Trisha.

 

“What the ‘ell you doin’ back ‘ere?” Dockley demanded from the doorway.

 

“Wing Governor’s orders,” Nikki replied with a mocking smile.

 

“You should be on the block for what you did to me? You must be shaggin’ ‘er!” Dockley shrieked before flouncing off, no doubt in search of her pet screw, Fenner.

 

Nikki’s fists tightened at the inmate’s words then a picture of Helen Stewart came into her mind and a faint smile played around her lips. Why didn’t the accusation upset her like it should have done? She took out a cigarette and lit it slowly and deliberately and her smile broadened. Because Helen Stewart was bloody gorgeous, that’s why!    

 

 

On to Chapter 15

 

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