In Dreams

 

By

 

Jan

 

 

Chapter 13

 

 

“Trish, where the hell are you?” Nikki muttered impatiently as the phone rang incessantly. She slammed the receiver down and removed her phone card. Whilst she hadn’t expected Trisha to become a hermit, she could at least make the effort to be in when she knew she was going to ring.

 

 She went into the dining room and, seeing Carol sitting at one of the tables, slid into the seat opposite her. “Why the long face?” she teased.

 

Carol looked at her tearfully. “Miss Stewart’s just told me they’re shipping me out, Nikki.”

 

“But why?” Nikki asked with a frown.

 

“I don’t know,” Carol shrugged. “Miss Stewart said they were moving me to an open prison.”

 

“Bastards!” Nikki exclaimed. “They almost let you die and you’re the one who gets shipped out. Well, they’re not going to get away with it! I’ll go and see that bloody bitch Stewart!”

 

“Leave it, Nikki,” Carol said quickly. “I don’t want you getting into trouble.”

 

Nikki laughed ironically. “Carol, I’m serving ten years, how much more trouble can I get into?”

 

“You don’t want to spend the next ten years on the block. You know what they’re like in here, they target troublemakers. Fenner’s got his knife into you all ready so don’t give him any more ammunition.”

 

“They can’t get away with it!” Nikki retorted.

 

Carol nodded and smiled bitterly. “Yes, they can, Nikki.” She reached out and covered her friend’s hand with her own. “I’d better go and get my things together. Come and say ‘goodbye’ before I go?”

 

Nikki nodded sadly. Carol had been her only friend in this place and now she was losing her.

 

 

Helen Stewart walked down the wing to Nikki Wade’s cell. Stubberfield had ordered her to ship Carol Byatt out and all her protestations had gone unheeded. She knew Nikki was a friend of Carol’s and for some strange reason felt she owed the inmate an explanation. She knocked quietly on the door then pushed it open.

 

Nikki was lying on her bunk smoking a cigarette and staring up at the ceiling. Her head turned slightly to see who had entered. She shot Helen a look of disgust then turned her concentration back to the ceiling.

 

“May I come in?” Helen asked.

 

“It’s your prison,” Nikki retorted bitterly.

 

Helen raised her eyebrows almost imperceptibly. This wasn’t going to be easy! She stepped further inside, feeling almost intimidated by the inmate. “About Carol Byatt…”

 

“What about her?” Nikki interrupted sharply. “You’ve shipped her out, what more is there to say?”

 

“It wasn’t my doing, Nikki. I was told to ‘get rid of her’,” Helen replied truthfully.

 

Nikki turned her head, puzzled at the Wing Governor’s words then she smiled maliciously.  “Are you sure you should be telling me that?”

 

“No, I shouldn’t,” Helen agreed with a faint smile. “But I’m telling you anyway.”

 

Nikki swung her long legs from the bunk and stood up. She crossed to the toilet and dropped her cigarette stub into the bowl. “Don’t expect me to thank you,” she muttered over her shoulder.

 

“I don’t,” Helen said simply then turned away and left the cell.

 

For a long while after the Wing Governor had gone, Nikki stared at the door. What the hell game was Stewart playing?

 

 

The shifty movements of the Principle Officer hadn’t gone unnoticed, at least by one inmate. Nikki had seen the way Fenner was always hanging around Rachel Hicks. She was a shy kid, only about nineteen or twenty and gullible enough to be taken in by Fenner’s smarmy sweet talk.

 

‘You want to watch Fenner. He’ll use you and throw you away,’ she had told Rachel one day, only to be shot down in flames and almost told to mind her own business.

 

She had also seen the way Shell Dockley was keeping an eye on Rachel. It was obvious she considered Fenner to be her property and she felt sure Dockley and Denny Blood were ganging up on the youngster. Still it wasn’t her problem. She had offered Rachel advice and she hadn’t wanted to know.

 

     

Nikki sat in the visitors’ room expectantly and her face lit up as Trisha appeared. They moved together and Nikki’s arms enfolded the slender form.

 

“I’ve missed you,” she muttered huskily against Trisha’s ear.

 

“Me too,” Trisha agreed as she disentangled herself from Nikki’s arms and slid into one of the chairs at a vacant table.

 

Nikki tried to hide her disappointment at the coolness of Trisha’s greeting as she sat down opposite her. “Come on then, tell me all your news.”

 

“Nothing much to tell,” Trisha replied stiffly.

 

“Been going out, have you?” Nikki asked, forcing a smile to her lips.

 

Trisha looked at her sharply. “You can’t expect me to stay in all the time.”

 

“Of course not,” Nikki replied quickly. “It’s just that you’re never in when I ring.”

 

“The club doesn’t look after itself you know!” Trisha snapped. “I’m trying to do my best.”

 

“I know you are,” Nikki reassured her gently. “I’d just like to talk to you sometimes.” She reached out to touch Trisha’s hand but, realising her intentions, Trisha quickly placed her hands on her lap. Nikki frowned. “Is something wrong?”

 

“Why should there be?” Trisha laughed nervously.

 

“Then why don’t you want me to touch you?” 

 

Trisha looked down at the table. She couldn’t bear to see the hurt look on Nikki’s face. “There are people here…”

 

“It’s never bothered you before!” Nikki said accusingly. “You’ve hardly been able to keep your hands off me, now you can’t even bring yourself to look at me!”

 

“Nikki…”

 

The tall inmate leaned forward, her lips set in a grim line. “Who is she?”

 

Trisha’s head jerked up and their eyes met but the pain in Nikki’s brown eyes made her turn away. “It’s not what you think,” she said softly.

 

“Is it anyone I know?”

 

Trisha looked at her for several moments then shook her head. “She’s a doctor at the same hospital…”

 

“I don’t want to know the details!” Nikki ground out through clenched teeth.

 

“I’m sorry, Nik,” she whispered. “It just happened.”

 

“Do you know how many times it could have ‘just happened’ for me in the last nine years but I wouldn’t let it because I was with you?” she replied scornfully. “I thought you loved me.”

 

“I do but it’s been almost two years. You don’t know how hard it’s been.”

 

“It’s been hard for me too!” Nikki retorted loudly then lowered her voice when all eyes in the room turned to look at her. “Trish, you’re all I’ve got!” She took a deep breath trying to quash the feelings of desolation coursing through her body.

 

“I never meant to hurt you,” Trisha murmured softly.

 

Nikki studied the woman she loved closely. The face she had known so well, that filled her dreams, it was almost like looking at a stranger. “I suppose I couldn’t expect you to turn into a nun,” she forced a shaky laugh. “We both have needs.”

 

Trisha looked at her in surprise. “You mean you’ve found someone in here?”

 

“It’s early days yet,” Nikki replied with a shrug. “But you could say I’m spoilt for choice.”

 

“I’m so pleased for you,” Trisha said almost in relief.

 

When Bodybag announced that visiting time was over, Nikki could have almost kissed her. Trisha’s revelation had knocked her for six and all she wanted to do was get away from the woman who had shared her life for almost nine years.

 

Back in her cell she unpinned the picture of the beautiful blonde from her notice board and stared at it through tear-filled eyes. Her life, her hope, was seeing someone else. Her whole future seemed to be dissolving and all she could see in front of her was ten long, lonely years. She lay down on her bunk, put her arm across her face and wept.

 

“Are you alright, Nikki?” the cultured tones of Monica Lindsay reached her from the doorway. Monica was a dignified lady in her early sixties who had been sentenced to four years imprisonment for helping her boss embezzle money from his company. A charge she strongly denied.

 

Still keeping her face covered, Nikki nodded but a sob escaped her lips.    

 

“You’re clearly not alright,” Monica said sagely. “What’s happened?” She sat down beside Nikki and placed her hand lightly on her knee.

 

Nikki swallowed and choked back her tears. “Trisha’s found someone else,” she said in a broken voice.

 

“Oh, Nikki, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

 

“There’s nothing anyone can do. Trisha doesn’t want me any more so what’s the point of living?” She turned on her side, facing the wall, and great sobs wracked her body.

 

Monica opened and closed her mouth, unsure what to do. She had never seen Nikki like this before. She rose unsteadily and, after a final glance at the weeping woman, quietly left the cell and absently walked down the wing.

 

“You look troubled, Monica.”

 

The older woman shook herself out of her reverie at the sound of the Wing Governor’s voice. “I’m alright, Miss Stewart, but I think I ought to tell you. Nikki Wade’s girlfriend has just finished with her. She’s taking it very badly and said there was no point in living. I’m not saying she will do herself any harm,” she hesitated, feeling a little foolish at sounding so melodramatic. “But I wouldn’t like to take the risk.”

 

Helen gave a wry smile. She found it difficult to reconcile the woman Monica was describing with the person who had been the thorn in her side ever since her arrival at Larkhall. However, she couldn’t just ignore her. “Leave it with me, Monica. I’ll make sure my officers know to keep an eye on her.”

 

“Thank you, Miss Stewart,” Monica replied gratefully as Helen walked away. At least if Nikki was being watched she couldn’t come to any harm.

 

 

When Nikki awoke the following morning, her first thoughts as always were of Trisha. Her eyes filled with tears and she wondered how long it had been since she was Trisha’s first thought in the morning. She felt a wave of nausea and dived out of bed, reaching the sink just as her stomach parted with its watery contents. The bitter bile burnt the back of her throat but before she could turn on the tap to rinse out her mouth she heard a piercing scream and all hell broke loose!

 

 

On to Chapter 14

 

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