Everything I do

 

 

Chapter 3

 

After lock-up Helen made her way to the cells. She spotted Dominic McAllister making his rounds. “I’m just going to check on Nikki Wade, Dom. She had rather an emotional reunion with her mother this afternoon,” she informed him quietly. “And with Barbara being in the infirmary, I thought she might need someone to talk to.”

 

“Need any help?” he offered.

 

“No, I’ll be alright. You just carry on.”

 

“See you later then, Helen.”

 

“Yeah, see you.” She stopped outside Nikki’s cell, took a deep breath then unlocked the door and stepped inside. After removing her key from the lock she closed the door behind her.

 

Nikki was lying on the top bunk reading. “Have you come to tuck me in, Helen?” she drawled suggestively laying down her book.

 

Helen gave an amused chuckle. “No. I think you’re big enough to tuck yourself in.”

 

“And ugly enough?” Nikki fished as she swung her long legs from the bunk and dropped lightly to the floor.

 

“I wouldn’t say that,” she answered truthfully.

 

“Was that a compliment I heard?” Came the teasing response.

 

Helen decided to change the subject before it became any more dangerous. “I just came to see how you were feeling before I went home.”

 

“I’m OK, I think. Thanks for what you did today,” Nikki said sincerely.

 

“I know it can’t have been easy for you after so many years but I hope things work out between the two of you. Your mother seems a nice lady.”

 

“We’ll see.”

 

“Give her a chance, Nikki. I think she may surprise you.”

 

“Like her being chatted up by a dyke, you mean? Who’d have thought it?”

 

“She told you, did she?”

 

“Yeah. It was a shame it ended so sadly. It could be a lesson to us all, maybe we should take our chances whilst we have the chance.” She placed her hand under Helen’s chin and tilted her head back until their eyes met.

 

“Nikki…” Helen’s voice was little more than a croak. “I don’t think this is such a good idea.” And she didn’t because if Nikki kissed her now she knew she didn’t have the willpower to resist her.

 

“Can you think of a better one?”

 

“Nikki, I have to go…”

 

“Don’t you always, Helen.” She bent her head and gently sought Helen’s lips with her own.

 

Helen moaned softly but as she started to respond Nikki pulled away.

 

“You’re right. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all.”

 

“Nikki...” Helen looked bereft at her apparent rejection.

 

Nikki laughed triumphantly as she wrapped her arms around Helen and pulled her hard against her. As their lips met Helen groaned and ran her hands up Nikki’s back and into her hair. Nikki kissed her fiercely before drawing back. “God you’re so beautiful!” she murmured when she saw the look of rapture on Helen’s face.

 

Helen forced her eyes open. She didn’t want this moment to end. “So are you,” she smiled and pulled Nikki’s head down until their lips met again. This time Helen was the first to pull away. “I really do have to go, Nikki, before Dominic comes looking for me.”

 

Nikki nodded. She placed another lingering kiss on Helen’s lips before releasing her then turning her back towards the door.

 

“Why do you do that? I’ve seen you do it before.”

 

Nikki laughed bitterly. “I do it because I can’t bear to see you leave the room and close the barrier between us.”

 

“I’m sorry, I never realised.” She ran her hand gently across Nikki’s back then quietly left the cell.

 

 

For almost a week Nikki only caught fleeting glimpses of Helen. Night after night she waited expectantly for her to come to her cell after lock up only to be disappointed. She knew Helen had to be careful but surely she could have made the effort especially with Barbara being laid up in the infirmary and they could have been alone. She even thought about getting into trouble, so she would have to be hauled in front of the Wing Governor but thought better of it. Helen certainly wouldn’t be happy to see her then.

 

She had sent her mother a visiting order and was nervously waiting in the visitor’s room for her to arrive. Joan was the last to enter and made her way to the table where Nikki was sitting.

 

“Hello, Nikki.” Joan said shyly as she sat down in the chair opposite Nikki’s.

 

“Thanks for coming.”

 

“I brought you a few things. I left them with one of the officers.”

 

“That was kind of you. Thanks.” She looked around as if searching for something to say. “How did you get here?“

 

“I drove down.”

 

“So you learnt to drive after all. You always said you never would after dad had a go at teaching you.” She looked down at the table. She was remembering things she hadn’t thought of in years and it hurt like hell.

 

“My friend taught me, Pam. She had more patience with me than your father.”

 

“She sounds like quite a woman.”

 

“She was. You remind me of her in so many ways.”

 

Nikki reached out to take her mother’s hand then drew back quickly. “I’m sorry, about your friend I mean.”

 

“Thank you, Nikki. Do you think…?” she stopped as she looked at her daughter. Nikki wasn’t listening to her. She was staring across the room a faraway expression on her face. Joan turned slightly to see what she was looking at and saw Helen Stewart talking to one of the officers. Joan looked at Nikki then at the Wing Governor and back to Nikki again. She saw Nikki’s face light up as Helen made her way over to talk to them.

 

“Hello, Mrs Wade…Nikki,” Helen greeted them both warmly. Her gaze held Nikki’s just long enough for Joan to see the look that passed between them, there was obviously more than just a governor/inmate relationship between them.

 

“Nice to see you again, Miss Stewart,” Joan said pleasantly.

 

“Yes it is,” Nikki agreed her eyes never leaving Helen’s face.

 

“I won’t interrupt.” She laid her hand on Joan Wade’s shoulder. “Call me if you need anything. See you later, Nikki.”

 

“Yeah, see you, miss.” Nikki watched Helen walk across the room greeting some of the other inmates as she went. Just before she went out of the room Nikki turned back to her mother.

 

“Miss Stewart…Helen, she’s a lovely lady,” Joan said watching Nikki’s face for her reaction.

 

“Yes, she is,” Nikki said softly and blushed under her mother’s careful scrutiny.

 

They made small talk until the end of visiting. Before she left Joan laid her hand gently on Nikki’s folded arms. “May I come and see you again?”

 

“I’ll send you another VO,” Nikki promised.

 

“’Bye, Nikki.”

 

“’Bye.” Nikki watched as her mother left the room before making her way back to her cell.

 

 

A couple of days later Helen was relaxing at home when the telephone rang. She ignored it and let the answerphone do its work. She’d had a shit day, Stubberfield kept calling her to his office for meetings, Fenner was the sarcastic bastard he always was and she hadn’t seen Nikki either. She was surprised when the caller announced who it was.

 

“Miss Stewart, it’s Joan Wade. Could you call me when you get in, please?”

 

She had given Nikki’s mother her home number but she hadn’t really expected her to use it. She almost fell off the sofa trying to snatch up the receiver before Joan rang off. “Mrs Wade, I’m here. I was just being too lazy to answer the phone,” she admitted truthfully.

 

“Call me ‘Joan’, please, Miss Stewart,” Joan said pleasantly.

 

“Alright, Joan and it’s ‘Helen’. Now, what can I do for you?”

 

“I’m sorry to bother you at home but are you doing anything this weekend?”

 

“I don’t have anything planned. Why? Is there something wrong?” Her first instinct was to think something was wrong with Nikki but surely she would have known before Joan did.

 

“No, nothing. I was wondering if you would come and see me. I’m only about an hour’s drive out of London but you could stay overnight, I have a spare room. If you want to that is.”

 

“Joan, are you sure there’s nothing wrong?”

 

“I know I’m being foolish but I just want to talk to you about Nikki. It’s so long since I was able to talk about her to anyone and you probably know her better than I do now. I’ll understand if you’d rather not come,” she added quickly.

 

“Yes, I’ll come, thank you. Give me the directions.” Joan gave her the directions but since the answerphone was still running she didn’t bother to write them down, she could copy them out later. “Right then, I’ll see you about eight on Friday night. Is that alright?”

 

“That’s fine, I’ll have a meal ready and thank you, Helen. Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight, Joan.” Helen replaced the receiver, a frown furrowing her lovely brow. “I wonder what all that was about?” she murmured thoughtfully.

 

 

On to Chapter 4

 

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