Chapter 1
As
she walked across the prison grounds to the garden, Helen Stewart felt a knot
of apprehension in her stomach. There was a time when seeking out Nikki Wade wouldn’t
have been a problem for her. She enjoyed their verbal sparring even though she
knew Nikki flirted outrageously with her, but since Nikki had admitted to being
‘totally in love’ with her she’d tried to keep out of her way.
As
she knelt weeding the vegetable patch Nikki heard footsteps behind her and
without turning round knew instinctively who it was. “Hello, Helen,” she said
softly over her shoulder.
“How
did you know it was me?” Helen asked in wonder.
Nikki
turned round a smile playing around the corners of her mouth. “I’ve got built
in Helen Stewart radar, didn’t you know?”
Helen
flushed making Nikki’s smile widen. “Sorry, Helen. Sometimes I just can’t help
it.”
“Can’t
help what?”
“Flirting
with you. If I try hard enough, who knows one day I might just break down your
defences.”
“Don’t
hold your breath, Nikki,” Helen warned.
Nikki
moved closer until if she reached out she could pull Helen into her strong
arms. “Oh, but I do hold my breath, Helen, every time you’re close to me.”
Helen
took a step backwards, not realising she too had been holding her breath.
“Did
you want me for something?” Nikki asked suddenly serious.
“Want
you?” Helen echoed stupidly.
“Ever
since I opened my big mouth you’ve kept out of my way, so since you came to me
I assume you want me for something or you’ve decided to give me the bollocking
I’ve been expecting.”
“Why
should I give you a bollocking?”
“Oh,
you know, being disrespectful to the Wing Governor by telling her you love her.
That sort of thing.”
“I
can hardly put that in a report, can I. No bollocking, Nikki, but I don’t want
to hear that sort of thing again. From now on our conversations will have to be
strictly impersonal.”
“I
can assure you I won’t tell you I love you again, Helen, not until you tell me
that is?” Again the wide grin formed.
Helen
looked taken aback but soon regained her composure. “Like I said, Nikki, don’t
hold your breath.” The conversation was getting out of hand again. She turned
and hurried back to her office totally forgetting to tell Nikki what she wanted
to see her about.
Nikki
watched Helen’s retreating back. God, she was gorgeous! She smiled to herself
as a thought struck her. Since Helen hadn’t told her what she wanted she’d have
to see her again. With that happy thought in her mind she went back to her
weeding.
Helen
went back into her office and slammed the door behind her. Sod Nikki Wade! Here
she was an intelligent, confident woman with a degree to boot and a con had the
ability to turn her into a gibbering idiot with just a look. But what a look! A
picture of Nikki’s warm brown eyes came into her mind and Helen’s face
softened. Shit! Nikki was getting under her skin and she didn’t like it. She
didn’t like it one bit. She’d always been the one in control of her life, even
Sean hadn’t managed to take over, but Nikki was making her say and do things
she didn’t want to.
She
sat down at her desk and took a letter out of her desk drawer. This was what
she had gone to see Nikki about. She scanned the text for the umpteenth time
since she’d received it that morning and again read the signature…Joan Wade. It
was a letter from Nikki’s mother!
Helen
picked up the telephone and dialled the number at the top of the letter. “May I
speak to Mrs Wade, please?” she asked softly when her call was answered.
“Speaking.”
A cultured voice spoke from the other end of the line.
“Mrs
Wade, my name’s Helen Stewart, I’m a Wing Governor at Larkhall Prison. Your
daughter, Nikki, is an inmate on my wing so your letter has been passed on to
me.” There was silence at the other end of the line. “Mrs Wade are you still
there?”
“I’m
sorry…Miss Stewart did you say?” Came the nervous response. “I didn’t really
expect anyone to get in touch with me. I just wanted to know how
Nicola…Nikki…was.”
“Nikki’s
making the best of a bad job, Mrs Wade. Things would be easier for her if she
had people in her life she could count on. As it is she only seems to have the
friends she’s made in Larkhall.” Helen paused. She was getting on her Wing
Governor high horse again and it wasn’t up to her to be judgmental about
prisoners’ families but somehow Nikki was different.
“It
sounds as if you are one of those friends, Miss Stewart.”
“Yes,
I am,” she answered truthfully.
“Do
you think she would let me come and see her?”
“To
be honest, Mrs Wade, I don’t know.”
“Would
you speak to her for me, Miss Stewart, please? It is important.”
Shit!
The fates were conspiring to throw them together yet again. “I’ll try but I
can’t promise anything. If Nikki doesn’t want to see you I can’t force her to.”
“Thank
you, Miss Stewart. Will you call me when you know something, please?”
“Alright,
Mrs Wade. ‘Bye.” Helen replaced the receiver thoughtfully. She didn’t know how
Nikki would react to the news. She picked up the receiver again. “Would you
bring Nikki Wade to my office, please.”
Nikki
came into the office trying to stop the grin from forming but failing
miserably. Helen made her want to smile even saying her name made her want to
smile. “Hello, Helen.”
“Sit
down, Nikki.” Helen said without looking up.
“Not
plugged it in have you?” Nikki pretended to look under the chair for wires.
Helen
had to suppress her own smile as she remembered a conversation she and Nikki
had once had. It was a shouting match really and she, Helen, had been doing the
shouting. It seemed such a long time ago now.
Nikki
sat down opposite her and folded her arms. “Well?” she raised quizzical
eyebrows. “What did you want to see me about?”
“Nikki,”
Helen began hesitantly. “I’ve had a letter from your mother.”
“My
mother?” Nikki repeated softly. She jumped up. “I don’t want to hear this,
Helen.”
This
is a good start, Helen thought to herself. “Go on then, Nikki. Run back to the safety
of your garden. I thought you were a lot of things, Nikki Wade, but I didn’t
think you were a coward.”
Nikki
took her seat again reluctantly. “So, what does the old cow want?”
Helen
ignored her bovine description of her mother and picked up the letter. “Do you
want to read it yourself?” Nikki shook her head. “She wants to know how you are
and…if she can visit you.”
“Not
bloody likely!” Nikki jumped to her feet again. “She’s been out of my life
longer than she was in it and that’s the way it is going to stay. If there’s
nothing else, I’ve got work to do.”
Helen
started to say something but thought better of it. She shook her head and Nikki
slammed out of the office.
Nikki
stomped back to the garden ignoring everyone in her path and flung open the potting
shed door. As she closed it with a crash behind her the walls shook menacingly.
Only when she was alone did she finally give vent to her feelings and
everything that wasn’t fastened down was flung against the shed wall.
Helen
had started to follow Nikki out of the office but found Jim Fenner barring her
way. “Oh dear. Has someone been upsetting our Ms Wade?” he said sarcastically.
“She almost knocked me over in the corridor.”
Helen
went back to her desk and sat down. “What is it, Jim? I’m busy.”
“Dockley’s
put in a request to see you.”
“Can’t
you deal with it?” she sighed.
“Obviously
not.” Fenner stated. Or I wouldn’t have come to see you, would I? Jim didn’t
voice the words but Helen knew the way his mind worked.
“I’ll
see her later. I’ll send for her when I’m ready.” Why didn’t he go? “Is that
all, Jim?” she demanded impatiently.
“Sorry,
am I keeping you from something…or someone?” he smiled superciliously.
“Like
I said, Jim. I’m busy.” Helen almost spat out the words.
Fenner
turned on his heel and left the office.
“Slimy
bastard,” Helen muttered.
She
waited until she was sure he was out of the way before making her way out to
the garden. She tapped lightly on the potting shed door and entered. “Can I
come in, Nikki?”
“Sure,
it’s a free country.” Nikki had her back towards her but she saw her raise her
arm and wipe her eyes on the sleeve of her jacket.
“Are
you alright, Nikki?” Helen asked gently.
“Couldn’t
be better, darlin’,” Nikki replied flippantly, too flippantly.
“Nikki,
if you want to talk…”
“Nothing
to talk about.”
“Nikki,
about your mother…”
Nikki
spun round and stood, hands on hips, glaring at her. “Like I said, darlin’.
Nothing to talk about.”
“You’ve
been crying,” Helen accused.
“I
haven’t. I just got something in my eye.”
Helen
didn’t press the point she knew Nikki would never admit to being upset. “Nikki,
I’ve spoken to your mother on the telephone…”
“Look,
you interfering cow, I told you to leave it!” Nikki exploded.
Helen’s
own anger started to rise but she knew having a slanging match with Nikki
wouldn’t do any good. She forced a smile to her lips. “My, Ms Wade, you do know
how to charm a lady.”
The
coy look on Helen’s face brought a smile to Nikki’s lips. She loved Helen more than
anyone in the world and she could never stay angry with her for long.
"Helen, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.”
“If
I asked you to see her, would you do it for me?” Helen persisted.
Nikki
looked at her lovingly her whole heart in her eyes. “I’d do anything for you,
Helen.” Then her expression became like stone. “But I can’t do this, not even
for you. She broke my heart all those years ago and she won’t get the chance to
do it again.”