BARRIER OF DOUBT

 

 

Chapter 7

 

 

Nikki read and re-read Helen’s brief note. Helen must be back, she thought, and she must have been in contact with Claire. She stood up and went and hammered on the door. “I want to see Miss Betts,” she called loudly.

 

A few minutes later she heard the door being unlocked and Karen Betts walked in. “What can I do for you, Nikki?”

 

“I need to speak to my lawyer urgently, Miss Betts,” she looked at Karen pleadingly.

 

“Have you decided to confess then?”

 

She looked at Karen distastefully. “I didn’t kill McAllister.”

 

“I know you didn’t, Nikki. You can go back to your cell. The police are satisfied you had nothing to do with Dominic’s murder.” Nikki looked at her questioningly so she continued. “The women who were in the garden corroborate your whereabouts, also someone saw you go into the loo and then go straight back out to the garden so you’re off the hook.”

 

Nikki breathed a sigh of relief. “You know, Miss Betts. A couple of days ago I couldn’t care whether I got my appeal or not but now I can’t wait to get out of this hell-hole.”

 

“Some days, Nikki, I know just what you mean,” Karen acknowledged wryly.

 

Karen accompanied Nikki back to G-Wing where all the inmates and staff were assembled. Nikki crossed quickly to stand with Barbara as Karen called for order then spoke in a loud, clear voice. “The investigation into the death of Officer McAllister is still continuing but Nikki Wade has been cleared of any involvement and was in no way responsible. If there are any reprisals against her, the guilty party will answer to me. Officer McAllister’s funeral will take place on Tuesday week and at the same time a special service will be held in the chapel. Thank you.”

 

Barbara turned and hugged Nikki. “Thank goodness you’re back. I was beginning to get worried.”

 

“Me too,” Nikki agreed. “I’m going back to the cell. I want to get my telephone card and phone Claire, she may have news of Helen.”

 

 

Helen rose groggily from the settee as the doorbell rang. She opened the door to find Claire standing on the doorstep.

 

“Helen, you look like shit!” Claire said bluntly.

 

“I feel like shit.” Helen grimaced as she stood to one side to allow Claire to enter. “I guarantee my baby will be an only child.” They went into the living room. “Any news about Nikki?” she asked as she indicated for Claire to sit down.

 

“I haven’t spoken to her but I rang Karen Betts,” Claire told her as she perched on the end of the settee. “Nikki has been cleared of any involvement in McAllister’s death.”

 

“Thank God for that,” Helen said with relief. “I was beginning to think we’d both pressed self-destruct buttons the way things were going wrong.”

 

“Have you decided what you’re going to do about Nikki?”

 

“What can I do?” Helen asked dismally. “She’s not going to want me now, is she?”

 

“Helen, I know she still loves you,” Claire said softly, just as her mobile rang. “Excuse me.” She took the mobile out of her bag. “Hello.”

 

“Hi, Claire, it’s me.”

 

“Hi, Nikki.” She turned and looked at Helen.

 

“Have you seen Helen?” Nikki demanded. “Did she give you the note?”

 

“Yes, I’ve seen her.” Her eyes met Helen’s questioningly and Helen shook her head.

 

“I need to speak to her,” Nikki was saying. “Will you ask her to come and see me?”

 

“I don’t have to, Nikki, she’s right here. Just a minute.” She placed her hand over the mouthpiece and turned to Helen. “She wants to speak to you.”

 

“Claire, how could you?” Helen said angrily.

 

“Talk to her, Helen. Tell her one way or the other how you feel about her but stop pissing her about!” Claire exclaimed. “Because if you don’t want Nikki Wade, I do!”

 

Helen looked at her in horror as she took the mobile from her outstretched hand.

 

“Hello, Nikki,” she said softly.

 

“Helen, darlin’. I can’t believe it after all these weeks.” She said tearfully. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you. I love you so much. I know we argued but I didn’t mean anything I said. Please come and see me.”

 

“Oh, Nikki,” a sob caught in Helen’s throat. “I can’t see you ever again. I’m going back to Scotland to live. I’ve sold my flat and…”

 

“And?”

 

“Nikki, I’m so sorry. I’m seeing someone else and I’m going to live with him.”

 

“No! Helen, you can’t,” Nikki said desperately. “You said you loved me.”

 

“I did Nikki but not the way you want me to.”

 

“Tried it once, didn’t like it. Is that it, Helen?” Nikki demanded bitterly.

 

“Forgive me, Nikki.”

 

“I’ll never forgive you because I’ll never stop loving you! “ Nikki exclaimed choking back her tears. “How can I forgive you for giving me that cross to bear for the rest of my life?”

 

“I’m sorry…” Helen broke down and Claire took the mobile from her. She held it to her ear but the line had gone dead.

 

Helen sank down on the settee tears streaming down her face. Claire sat down beside her friend and put her arms around her. “I’m sorry, Helen but for Nikki’s sake it had to be done. I just wish you hadn’t been so hard on her.”

 

“I know.” Helen nodded. “But I had to make her see there was never any hope for us. Nikki deserves happiness and without me she’ll find it. Take care of her, Claire, she’s very special to me.”

 

“I know that.” Claire smiled at her gently. “She’s very special to me too.”

 

Helen looked at her. She was going to lose Nikki…her Nikki…to her best friend. “Thank you for being my friend but I don’t think we should see each other again.”

 

“I understand and thank you.” Claire hugged her.

 

Helen tore herself away. “Please go, Claire.”

 

As she started to leave, Claire turned and looked at her friend. Helen’s whole body was shaking. “Helen, I can’t leave you like this.”

 

“Claire, please go!” Helen yelled. “I can’t stand the sight of you anymore!”

 

 

It was a dank sombre day when they came to lay their son to rest…Dominic, the beloved only child, born late in life to Peter and Edith McAllister. Helen’s heart was heavy as she watched the pall-bearers lift the coffin – adorned only with a floral tribute from his doting parents – onto their shoulders. Apart from their last meeting Dominic had been a good friend to her and she couldn’t help but feel sad that he had been cut down at such a young age. Karen Betts, Di Barker and John and Eddie, two of the gate guards, appeared to be the only Larkhall representative’s and she gave silent thanks that Jim Fenner wasn’t there.

 

The procession moved into the tiny church, to the strains of Celine Dion singing My Heart Will Go On.  Helen held back and tried to slip into one of the pews at the back of the church but Karen saw her and motioned for her to go and sit with them. Di Barker looked at her sharply then greeted her with a casual nod of the head.

 

The church was cold and Helen wrapped her long black coat around her. It was loose fitting and she hoped it helped conceal her thickening waistline.

 

From where she was sitting she could see Dominic’s parents. His mother’s body was hunched as she silently wept and his father stared gravely ahead but he had a comforting arm around his wife’s shoulders.

 

They moved out into the graveyard for the interment and as the coffin was lowered into the ground Edith McAllister screamed her son’s name in grief. Helen’s heart went out to Dominic’s father as he tried to comfort his distraught wife and he almost had to drag her away from the graveside.

 

As the mourners moved away, Helen turned to find herself confronted by an ashen faced Di Barker. “I’m surprised you showed your face, Miss Stewart.”

 

Helen looked at her in surprise. “What do you mean?”

 

“How do you feel knowing that you caused Dominic’s death?” Di said harshly. “How do you feel knowing that you’re responsible for the death of the only man I could ever love?”

 

A look of horror crossed Helen’s face at the words. “I didn’t…”

 

“He died because of you and one day you’ll pay for it!” she spat.

 

“Are you ready, Di?” Karen Betts asked as she came up to them. “Nice to see you, Helen. How have you been keeping?” She asked pleasantly.

 

Helen swallowed hard. “I’m fine thanks, Karen.” She forced a smile.

 

“I was just telling her, it’s lovely to see her,” Di gushed. “I’m ready when you are, Miss Betts.” She turned to Helen. “Are you coming back to the house, Miss Stewart?”

 

Helen looked at her almost believing she had imagined Di’s earlier harsh words. “No,” she said softly. “I have an appointment.”

 

Karen laid a friendly hand on her arm. She didn’t know all the facts about Helen’s hasty departure – did she fall or was she pushed? – but she liked her and had enjoyed working with her. “Are you alright, Helen? You’re very pale.”

 

“I’m fine thanks, Karen. I’ve got to go. ‘Bye.”

 

“’Bye, Miss Stewart.” Di Barker’s words echoed after her.

 

As she passed the car carrying Dominic’s parents, his father climbed out and called to her. “Is it, Miss Stewart?”

 

She walked back to him. “Yes, it is.”

 

“My wife and I would like to thank you for coming. Dominic was very fond of you,” he said pleasantly.

 

She looked at Edith McAllister through the car window and the two women smiled at each other. “I was very fond of Dominic, Mr McAllister. He was a fine young man and a good officer.” She turned as tears threatened to overwhelm her. “I’m sorry.”

 

Peter McAllister touched her hand gently. “That’s alright, my dear, I understand.”

 

Helen looked at him gravely. No, he didn’t understand. Indirectly she had been responsible for his son’s death. How many more lives would she shatter before she awoke from this nightmare?”

 

 

On to Chapter 8

 

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