| Act 5 Scene1 (Stebedick is flexing his muscles in front of a mirror) Stebedick: Oh looketh at thine muscular body! Heyeth�Art thou talkingeth to me? I saideth art thou talkingeth to me? There's nobody else here�You MUSTETH be talkingeth to me! (enter Bunneatrice) Bunneatrice: Stebedick, have thou duelled with Alex-Bebio yeteth? Stebedick: Oh yeseth! I was preparingeth for battle before I was so RUDLYETH interrupted! Bunneatrice: *sigh* (exit) Stebedick: Now�backeth to the mirror� (enter Alex-Bebio) Alex-Bebio: Helloeth Stebedick. Stebedick: AAH! I meaneth HAAllo� Alex-Bebio: Why do you always screameth upon mine entrance? Stebedick: I don'teth. Alex-Bebio: Yes you doeth! Stebedick: Enough of that. Draw thy naked weapon! I challenge thee to a duel! Alex-Bebio: Whateth? Well here cometh James Cagberry. Let's see what he hath to say and then duel. Stebedick: Oketh. That will giveth me more time in fronteth of the mirror. (enter James Cagberry with Davachio Wiv Glarseez in tow) James Cagberry: Maketh way! Criminal! Davachio Wiv Glarseez is a chook! Davachio Wiv Glarseez: Whateth? I am no chook! And these glarseez were a fair tradeth! James Cagberry: Ah, but what of mine Barbieges? D.W.G: Whateth? Alex-Bebio: Hey Davachio Wiv Glarseez, whereth were you the nighteth Bebero was being unfaithful? D.W.G: Why, I was swappingeth glarseez with Margien Wiv Glarseez, of course! Alex-Bebio: WHATETH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Stebedick: Quiet you! Alex-Bebio: So�Bebero was ne'er unfaithful to me? D.W.G: *shakes head* Alex-Bebio: And now she is deadeth! NOOOOOOOOO!!! *faints* Stebedick: Now�backeth to the mirror� Act 5 Scene 2 Stebedick: Shalleth I compare thee to a rainyeth day? Thou hast hair like hay� I'm a genius! Act 5 Scene 3 Stebedick: Messenger Boy L , go and retrieveth for me some quality reading material� Messenger Boy L : I'm not a servant, I'm a messenger boy! Stebedick: Messenger Boy L , GO AND RETRIEVETH FOR ME SOME QUALITY READING MATERIAL! Messenger Boy L : *sigh* (exit) (enter Bunneatrice) Bunneatrice: Good DAY to you Signor Stebedick! Stebedick: Hallo. Bunneatrice: Hwell?! Stebedick: Well what? Now don't thee just want to kisseth me? *teeth sparkle* Bunneatrice: Noe. I wanteth to know if thou hast challenged Alex-Bebio! (Stebedick opens mouth) NOW!!! Stebedick: Nought passed between us but foul words! Now kisseth me, sweet Bunneatrice! *leans forward and puckers lips* Bunneatrice: Noe! Foul words is but foul winds and foul winds is but foul breath! And anyway�no Smint, no kiss! Stebedick: Awww� (enter Messenger Boy L ) Messenger Boy L : I hath brought thee a book, Signor Stebedick. Stebedick: WHAT?!?! I told thee before, I hath no use for this dripping� Bunneatrice: GOLDEN WUTHERING HEIGHTS!!! *exclaiming in delight* Stebedick: �wonderful treasure because I am going to give it to mineth fruit tree! Hehe. Bunneatrice: How ROMANTIC! I could kiss thee�Messenger Boy L , doest thou have a Smint? Messenger Boy L : Yes, yes I do. (gives Smint to Stebedick) Stebedick: Thank you, servant. Messenger Boy L : *sigh* (exit) (Bunneatrice and Stebedick kiss) Act 5 Scene 4 Alex-Bebio: Oh! I am so sadeth! Mine Bebero is actually dead! (starts crying hysterically) Bunneatrice: Oh mine dearest cousin! How could thee leave me! (starts crying hysterically) James Cagberry: Oh! Where art mine Barbieges? (starts crying hysterically) Stebedick: Don't cry, I am here-eth! (everyone starts crying hysterically) Friar Wordsworth: Now, we are all here to honour the death of Lucy�I mean Bebero. She is now in accord with nature, and has a oneness and solitariness only found with Dorothy�I mean death. Now we shall bury the coffins. Don Janey: Hey Wordsworth, what about the surprise? Friar Wordsworth: Whateth? Ith mine Dorothy here? Dons: NOE! Don Julien: When ist Bebero going to appear? Friar Wordsworth: Ummm�oopseth� Don Amzzz: What??? Friar Wordsworth: I forgoteth! Don Ernie: Forgoteth what? Friar Wordsworth: To unlock the coffin. Dons: What? Ohe noe! |
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