| (enter Bebero) Bebero: I cannot findeth mine coffin! Don Julien: Bebero! Shhh! Get in this coffin here! Bebero: *starts to climb in* Ew! Lucy's in here! Don Amzzz: Ok, this one's empty, get in! (Bebero climbs in) Don Ernie: People are coming! Don Janey: Shhh! (enter Alex-Bebio, Stebedick, Bunneatrice and other mourners) Alex-Bebio: (cries over coffin) Oh Bebero! I am so sorryeth! (suddenly, Bebero bursts out of coffin) Alex-Bebio: AAAH! Vampire! Get me a stake! She's the undead! Bebero: Great plan, Friar Wordsworth� Wordsworth: Ahem... Don Janey: What is WITH your fear of vampires, Alex-Bebio? Alex-Bebio: Quick! Get me some garlic! And a cross! Open the windows! Let the sunlight in! Kill the beast! Bebero: So much for the tearful reunion� Don Amzzz: OK Alex-Bebio, deep breath. Don Ernie: Look, Bebero is NOT a vampire, she has a reflection! See? (Bebero stands in front of a mirror) Alex-Bebio: AAAH! Zombie! Don Julien: *sigh* Bebero wasn't really deadeth! It was just a STUPID plan of HIS! *points at Wordsworth* Wordsworth: Ummmeth�well! I certainly showed Bebero's solitariness� Alex-Bebio: So�she's not a vampire or a zombie? Dons: NO! Alex-Bebio: Aahhh!! Mummy!!! Only without the bandages! Don Julien: *sigh* Don Janey: Alex-Bebio, LISTEN TO ME! Alex-Bebio: But but� Don Janey: Quiet you! Bebero wasn't dead�she was pretending! Alex-Bebio: So�she's a vampirous, zombified mummy who faked her own death so she could come back and haunt me as a GHOST! AAAH! Friar Wordsworth: Ah, but thou must see through all that is human and melancholy to see the literal meaning that is beyond all literal meaning and unimportant, therefore the importance of the unimportance is revealed! Don Amzzz: Whatever. Alex-Bebio, put on your monocle! Alex-Bebio: My monocle? But it is my love, now that Bebero is no more�I mean, a vampirous, zombified, mummified ghost! Don Julien: Yeah�ummm�PUT IT ON! Alex-Bebio: Arghhh! Oh all right�*sniff* (Alex-Bebio puts on monocle) Alex-Bebio: Through this magical rose-coloured monocle, I see the truth! Oh Bebero! Bebero: Oh Alex-Bebio! Don Ernie: But the monocle isn't magical� Don Amzzz: And it's green� Don Janey: And I pressed the glass out to make a glass-blown whale! Don Julien: Moh. What he doesn't know won't hurteth him. (all shrug) Bunneatrice: Excuse me! No one has paid ANY attention to my weeping through this WHOLE scene! Stebedick: I haveth! Alex-Bebio: Hey! Check out Stebedick's poem! Don Amzzz: Quiet you! Friar Wordsworth: What? But I'm the poet! Shall I read my poem to Dorothy�I mean nature� Dons: Ohe noe! Don Janey: Hehehe�Bunneatrice 4 Stebedick! Don Ernie: Hehehe�Bunneatrice is in loveth with Stebedick�Remember the ball? And Stebedick was the purple, horned dog. Don Amzzz: Oh deareth. Bunneatrice 4 Stebedick! Don Julien: Hehe�Uh-oheth�here cometh Don Vik-tor� (enter Don Vik-tor) Don Vik-tor: I am a man of few words and I never ever speak. I am not a man of speaking. I hate talking. I hate the sound of my own voice, so I never talk. I have few opinions, which I never ever voice. Bunneatrice 4 Stebedick! I am quiet, oh so quiet. I love the quiet. Silence is my favourite. I never ever speak. I hate talking, so I avoid it at all costs. As you can see, I am a man of few words. Don Julien: Or�you COULD have just said Bunneatrice 4 Stebedick! Oh well. It's gotta be the shortest speech you hath ever madeth! Bebero: I wanna marry Alex-Bebio now! Alex-Bebio: Good plan! (exeunt) Act 5 Scene 5 Friar Wordsworth: We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Dorothy and I�I mean, Bebero and Alex-Bebio� Don Janey: Hey Wordsworth! We're taking over this. Don Julien: Yeah! You suck! Friar Wordsworth: Oh! I am so angry! Where ist mine Lucy? (leaves in a huff) Don Amzzz: Finally! Grrr� Don Ernie: So let's start this wedding� Bebero and Alex-Bebio: Hooray! Bunneatrice: Make that a double marriage! Stebedick: What? You're going to wed someone else? Bunneatrice: Noe, you fool. You! Don Janey: So you do loveth each other? Stebedick and Bunneatrice: Noe� Bebero: Look, I have a poem from Bunneatrice to Stebedick! Alex-Bebio: I haveth one also, from Stebedick to Bunneatrice. Don Julien: Read them! Alex-Bebio: Noe� Don Julien: Quiet you! *snatches poem* |
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