| Bunneatrice: But we must avenge Bebero's death! Umm?I mean, her shame! Oh, if only I was a man! I could then challenge Alex-Bebio to a duel! Stebedick: What? A duel? I thought thou wast talking about me! Thou doest not haveth a sword! Bunneatrice: We could duel with handkerchiefs! But wait?thou art a man! Thou can challenge Count Alex-Bebio! Stebedick: What? Challenge Alex-Bebio? I thought thou wast talking about thee becoming a man. Bunneatrice: (talking more to herself than Stebedick) Yes, thou can challenge Alex-Bebio, thou art a man? Stebedick: Bunneatrice? Bunneatrice: But I hath chang�d my mind! Thou canst challenge him? Stebedick: But art not I a man? Bunneatrice: Thou art a man but thou art not man enough? Stebedick: But Bunn? Bunneatrice: QUIET YOU!!! Oh, sorry. I thought you were Alex-Bebio. Stebedick: (whose pride is deeply wounded) I wilt do anything for thee! Anything! Bunneatrice: *ponders* Kill Alex-Bebio. Stebedick: Ha! Not for the world! (Bunneatrice glares at him, and, having enough sense to know he's about to get bit-ch slapped?) I'll do it for thee! To proveth my love for thee, Bunneatrice! Bunneatrice: That is better! Stebedick: I part with thee now! Fare thee well, fair Bunneatrice! Act 4 Scene 1 (enter Don Amzzz, Ernie, Janey and Julien) All: Heeheehee! (all run around burning Wordsworth poems, trampling on daffodils and knocking over the solitary reaper) Dons: Catch us if you can, Wordsworth! Wordsworth: *sobs* NOOOOOOOOOO! Act 4 Scene 2 James Cagberry: Thou art the elitest of the elite! Thou art a steam of lighting hen! I would like to see thee live up to thy lame! Barbieges: Ummm?why art thou talking to thyself? James Cagberry: I am talking to my hen! Barbieges: You mean, your men? James Cagberry: Of course! That is what I said! Barbieges: Whatever-eth. James Cagberry: Noweth! We must go and spy on some of the other chorus girls! Barbieges: I hope you mean villains? (exeunt) Act 4 Scene 3 Stebedick: I am a leaneth, meaneth, fighting machineth! (enter Alex-Bebio) Stebedick: AAAH! (runs and hides) Alex-Bebio: I misseth mine Bebero. Stebedick: Really? Then Wordsworth's plan is working! Alex-Bebio: What plan? Stebedick: Quiet You! Alex-Bebio: *sobs* (enter Don Vik-tor) Vik-tor: I am a man of few words. I seldom have conversations, and I never deliver messages. I am no one's servant, I taketh orders off no one. I just mindeth mine own business. Alex-Bebio, another wife has been foundeth for you. She is-eth anonymous. I have not spoken to her, as I do not speak. I merely listen, and listening is what I do? Alex-Bebio: Another WIFE?!? Don Vik-tor: Quiet you! As I was saying, listening is what I do best. I am a great listener, and friend to all. My company is appreciated, yet seldom noticed, as I never make a sound? (enter Ursula the Sea Witch) Ursula: I am going to steal your voice! Don Vik-tor: Ah! But that would be pointless, as I am a man of few words. You could not steal my voice, as it is never heard. I shouldeth be renamed "quiet", that is, he who never speaks. Because 'tis true, I never speak? Ursula: AAAAH! I can't take it! (runs away) Stebedick and Alex-Bebio: Good plan! (run away) Don Vik-tor: I am a man of few?guys? Hello? Act 4 Scene 4 Don Ernie: I am boredeth! Dons: We know. *sigh* Don Amzzz: Let us hold a pretend funeral. Don Julien: Isn't that even more boring? Don Amzzz: Oh, yeah. Don Janey: Why don't we crash it? Dons: Sounds slightly less boring? Don Janey: Perchance something hilarious may come along soon! Dons: Hooray! Don Ernie: I am boredeth. Dons: We know. *sigh* (enter Davachio Wiv Glarseez) D.W.G: I am so smarteth! I haveth tricked everyone into thinking Bebero ist unfaithful, AND I have scored some cooleth new glarseez! Hooray! Dons: WHATETH?!?!?! (suddenly a bush behind the Dons moves around and James Cagberry bursts out) Dons: Hello James Cagberry. James Cagberry: Barbieges! Where ist mineth Barbieges? Don Julien: Ummm, James Cagberry, perhaps you should arrest Davachio Wiv Glarseez? James Cagberry: Whateth? Was it he who stoleth Barbieges? Don Amzzz: Ummm?YES! James Cagberry: Oh! Thou art under a vest! Don Janey: ARREST! James Cagberry: Anyone you do pay can and will be given in evidence. Don Ernie: *sigh* Just take him away, James Cagberry! (exeunt) |
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