When God calls, He calls in love. My name is Janet Boynes and I have felt both God�s calling and His love in my life.
Life hasn�t always been easy for me. I grew up in Norristown, Pennsylvania, a northern suburb of Philadelphia. My mother was strict and abusive to me and my six stepbrothers and stepsisters. Her beatings made me want to be strong, so that I wouldn�t have to be weak and vulnerable to anyone. I began beating up my siblings and the kids at school, earning a reputation as a tomboy and a bully.
When I was thirteen, the father of one of my sisters sexually abused me. I started doing drugs, smoking, and drinking alcohol to cope with all of the pain in my life, but everything I tried was empty. None of the drugs or alcohol could fill the void I knew I had in my life, so I kept searching.
I graduated high school and began going to college. I loved basketball, but I wasn�t able to play because of my drug addiction. Things finally got so bad that I switched schools and began attending a Christian college in Minneapolis. I attended Bible classes and became involved with a church in Minneapolis, finally thinking that I had found what I was looking for in Christianity. I even met the man who would eventually become my fianc�.
Things didn�t go the way I had planned, however, and before I knew it, I was slipping away from God. Even though I was engaged to be married, I spent a lot of time with a female friend from work, so much time that my fianc� began commenting on it. I told him that it was nothing, but I didn�t realize what I was doing. One night I spent the night with my female friend and we became involved sexually.
I told my fianc� the next day and our wedding was called off until I could decide what it was that I wanted. I didn�t go back to him, however. It was then that I started a journey that would last for many years and cause a lot of heartache for both myself and those around me.
For fourteen years I lived the lesbian lifestyle, moving from one relationship to the next. My old habits came back as well and I struggled in and out of treatment, even getting in to trouble with the law. Throughout all of those years, I always knew that I would one day return to God, that He was calling me, but I wasn�t ready to come back.
Finally I met a woman at a grocery store who invited me to church. I went a few Sundays later and recommitted my life to Jesus Christ. Soon, all of my habits began falling away. It wasn�t easy, but with the help of the Holy Spirit and with the support of those around me, I gave up drugs, alcohol, and smoking. I joined a women�s Bible study and began to feel God calling me out of the homosexual lifestyle as well.
I knew that I had to sever all ties with my old lifestyle in order to make a clean break from it, so I moved in with a family from our church. I stayed with them for about a year, and for the first time, I was able to see how a family was supposed to function. God�s love worked through that family and began healing many of my old wounds caused by my childhood.
It�s been six years since I was called out of the lesbian lifestyle, but I don�t feel any regrets. God has bound up my broken heart and I am a new creation. I know that He has a wonderful plan for me, and I believe that one day, He will even bring a husband into my life. My story is proof that it doesn�t matter how far you�ve gone, or what you�ve done, God still calls, and He calls in love. |
