Jane Lily's Poetry and Art

SOLITUDE

I tell him
of my decay into true solitude
He tells me
It doesn't have to be
But I think it does
I think it does
Because
Lonliness becomes me.

ANGELS AND DEMONS Tonight I have no pain Tonight I am free My demons found their wings Allowing me to be, I watch them in the sky Playing in deep blue Raucous, noisy, they are free Excited about you, For years they sat so sober Eating me away Palid without destiny So needing to play, Seduced into your beauty They hated you at first they spat at you in anger For showing them their thirst,
And still you wouldn't own them You would not be their keep They tore with anger at my heart To make the angels weep,			But now my heart is open The Angels share their flight So dancing with the demons! Freedom found tonight!

WITH YOU

The sun rose
And fell with gentle richness
Onto the soft white sand of the beach
And when it touched my paleness
My soul cried

I reached to the silky strands of seaweed
And so gently touched
Their purity
As they drifted in the warmth of the easing tide
The tide that brought you to me

You manifested so close
And though I did not touch
You enveloped me unknowing
Of the wonder you created

It was when you turned to me
Your sweetness became all

I cried kissing you forever
in reverie for your being,
Your love
Feeling
the depths of your pain
the passion of your soul
Your absolute beauty

We played in exquisite softness
in unspoken sensuality
Loving
the intrinsic beauty of life

With You
I know I am alive
I know I feel
The richness
My soul satiated
And thrown again into the freedom
that I so fear and desire!

And in no uncertain terms my Being
wants nothing
Except the tenuous beauty I have known
and the love I have for you
to simply and undyingly BE.

MY NEED

You see me as a cold, ungiving, horrid being
I expect that
Because I am bonded in a marriage
With no soul connection --

...but I CHERISH life!
I AM capable of love!

-- My soul cries out for
a gracious non-constricting lap to rest in
-- I yearn to be surrounded by
passion for what I love --
the intricacies of nature
the bittersweet of creativity
and the love of sharing that passion!

ANGER AGAIN

Your anger cuts me down
Like a firing squad to
the Chinese criminal who
stole a loaf of bread
to fend off starvation

Your anger
The part of you with which I am so familiar
I've been through this so many times before
My heart shrinks
My mind now nimbly builds up more shielding
against your artillary

At the beginning I remember how much it hurt
Now I fall quickly to my survival strategy...
Shrink and build walls, shrink and build walls,

It is not the role I choose anymore.
I choose freedom.

MAN IN THE SHADOWS Hidden in the angles of dark shadows cast off of buildings He hides in the heavy length of black overcoat. Peering out for a split second The lamplight reflects off of wild and weary eyes. He turns And darkness momentarily blanks out his face. He toys delicately in his fingers The perfect cylindrical form of a newly drawn cigarette coddling it closer to his face, shielding it from non-existent wind...
A moment later a rasping flash of tiny flame brings light-- A sort of warmth to the isolation of his face -- The tip of the flame barely converging with the end of that dry, tightly rolled tobacco playing to life red romantic embers that quietly crackle as he draws in the heavy sweet smoke.		He changes stance in the dark and for a magical second the moon plays with his eyes, Flirting with the shadowed beauty of his soul, Begging him to dream. For a poetic moment he does. And then he turns and walks away.

BLACKOUT

After a blackout
The horizon slowly comes back into view
But the fog
And smog lie low
Over the rubble of this broken city.

Dogs bark
and children wail
unable to find home
And other confused souls
Call out
Waiting for assurance
That does not come

The sun rises
and creates unintended beauty
through shards of broken glass and
Cracked windows
of the few structures that still stand.

Wind comes up and
another window shudders;
Crashes
tinkle, tinkle
to the ground
The gaping hole left is toothed
with untouchable glass daggers
waiting to stab the last hopes of the soul within.

But this child knows to be cautious
And frees herself
with only a few cuts
She picks her way through the rubble
tears flowing faster than blood.
Her life is in ruins.
She must run away and so she does,

---but not too far

From the hill she looks down upon the destruction
There is nothing left but herself.
And so...
Painfully begins her manifestation.

IMPLODED

Consumed by a face
I cannot see
that is really NOT me
...or is it me?

If I am consumed
Then this is what
I have become

A self-indulgent soul

...SCUM

CARESS

My sweet fox
I drift closer to your presence
And drink in your potency
Reach out with my soul
Closed eyes and arms adrift
Waiting to be taken

Your honey abdomen
Brushes mine
My whole being
Releases and sings
Resonant to you

Ecstasy forever
My whole body
Yours
But then
Your sweetness
Turns --

Your arms pull me in
Hard
Pure consumption
Of my openness

Your caressing fingers
Press deeper and deeper
I realize too late
They are six inch claws
Your Cold agony pierces my heart
And your steel blue eyes
Turn to ice with your haunting smile
As you tear me apart.

DRAMA

You toy with my soul
Inviting me to play
The body in your fantasies
Pretending to love me --
But I am not the actress
or the prop you want

Tossed aside,

I am your alienated audience
Stifled, hushed by the solitude of your erotic moment?
Watching you vent your anger at the world
And stretch to feel
That ever-elusive freedom.

BALANCE

Blindfold me dear and
Invite me for a romantic walk
On a tightrope

Offer me your hand to hold
and as I extend mine to yours
Watch me
Totter and fall
And then carry on like
You did nothing at all.

FREEDOM Night in China so black with secrets and whispers We walk with purposeful strides Pumped with Political stress In silence we go Needing No words
You unlock my door with slender grace black hair and black overcoat into this plasticized Western room And I sit And you sit On this knowing bed Feigning polite form We speak passions through gestures, tones, and eyes and a dictionary passed back and forth with fury flipping for just the right word Later We fall to whispers Much past the time to say 'goodnight' In the quiet and blackness			Rustling of fabric -- We are FREE Your milky soft skin to mine I melt into your gentleness Led to infinity Spiraling Tenderness You are SO beautiful I lose my fear and cry out -- NO! Your delicate hand shushes my abandon FREEDOM gone -- because China is so black with secrets and whispers.

SOFT AMBER

Quietly
Passion
laps over me like
warmth of a languid ocean
You walk
with a trail
of unrequited love

You are
Shimmering Soft Amber
Satiated
with Self-Satisfaction
but still needing
some
Intangible
Unimaginable Love

Softly glowing you are;
almost unseen
a star
in a magical, remote sky
that I
will never know.

The Beauty of You

The sound of water
Mesmerizing essence of Life
Plays around my legs, my thighs
As I sink
Into the HOT
Beside you

Steam rises around you
Beautiful One
Your body sensual, pure, longing...

I follow your gaze
Up to a moon across which
languid tendrils of cloud glide--

Where are you? I wonder
But then I see
You are there, AND
somehow here, beside me

Your eyes holding in dreams
That I could explore
If I could only just...

Your skin glistens
I SO want to touch you!
Feel your breath, hear your heartbeat, feel your release!

I look down to play fingers
on the surface of silky water instead
Knowing,
Enjoying every sensual moment that leads back to
the Beauty of You.

Can you relate to my take on things and/or do you have poetry you'd like to share? I would love to hear from you.