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WESTERN IMAGES - August 7, 2005. We heard the shouts. We were bombarded by the emails. We've heeded the hue and cry for pictures from the west, from Wahoo, NE. Click here to visit our very own Wahoo gallery with captions provided by Rev. Patrick.
A NEW FACE - July 9, 2005. One of our own was featured prominently in an article on the Omahanewsstand.com web site:
Reverend Patrick Marshall gave his first sermon as their new minister last Sunday.
Marshall is originally from Pensacola, Fla. He graduated from Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tenn. in 2001, then went to the Columbia Theological Seminary. He graduated from there about a month ago. Wahoo is his very first post serving as a pastor.
"It's my first call as a pastor," he said. "I'm still getting my feet wet."
Way to go, Patrick. He must have watched "Bull Durham" lately, because he knocked all the questions out of the park.
I'll have photos from Wahoo, our new Jamoche Western Front, posted on the pictures page a.s.a.p.
MORE GNOME NEWS - April 15, 2005. You might want to try this just in case the tax man is beating a path to your front door today:
Jean Collop was woken early on Tuesday morning by the sound of an intruder on the roof of her home in Wadebridge, southwest England.
"I grabbed the first thing that came to hand -- one of my garden gnomes -- and hurled it at him, and hit him," she recalled. "He lay there and I began to scream. I went back into the kitchen and found a rolling pin in case he came down. I didn't want to break another gnome."
A neighbor alerted police who arrived shortly afterward and arrested the intruder.
He added: "Our usual advice would be not to get involved, but to contact the police straight away," said a spokesman for the Devon and Cornwall Police.
"We do appreciate that in the heat of the moment people react to that situation, and if it results in a happy outcome that's great."
I believe the burglar-to-be picked the wrong British nanny to mess with that day. You have to read the story carefully, but she basically hurled a gnome onto the roof and knocked him out cold. Nolan Ryan got nothing on the Gnome Hurlin' Granny.
WE CAME, WE SAW... - March 27, 2005. ... we ate. And ate, and ate and ate.
The Birthdays, circa 2005, are history. Many a capaletti were made, and many were eaten. But when the grated cheese cleared, and the spoons silenced, the final standings looked like this:
The Elders acquitted themselves admirably, accouunting for 537 capaletti. As expected, though, the Juniors (that's pronouced ch-ew-nyers in Oley), dominated the age competition with 617 capaletti, or 53%.
Click through on this link to see a breakdown of the results for the last two years to see where you placed in the competition.
Last, but definitely not least, are the memorable quotes. Here are our favorites:
"We would have been done sooner if Patrick hadn't grabbed my boobs." - Jennifer
"Im 18. I can buy porn if I want to." - Amy
"Every punk with a spoon is trying to make a name for himself." - Ed
Finally, Jim decided to end his active competitive career and retired to the Champions' Tour. Plans are now in the works for how to offically honor Jim's storied career at a family gathering yet to be determined.
Here are some photos of the 2005 event, with more to come soon.
VIVO VORO - March 22, 2005. My apologies in advance for the lame attempt at labelling this weekend's bacchanalia with a Latin tag line, but I took a shot. My Latin loving daughter will, undoubtedly, let me know if I came close.
Also, apologies for the delay in updating the site, and also making y'all listen to the Eagles' theme song for the last two months. Inexcusable.
Enough already. On with The Feed.
We have Girl Scout cookies for everybody this weekend, or at least for those of you who ordered. Please be sure to eat plenty of cookies before we tuck into the capaletti's. You'll certainly want a legitimate excuse when you have to drop out after your first hundred tasty morsels.
What, me? Talkin' trash. Sure. Why not. I got nothing to lose. I'm just another punk with a spoon looking to make a name for myself against the toughest competition this side of the Monongahela. A little bluff and bluster is exactly what's called for in this situation.
See you all Saturday. Bring your appetites, 'cause I'm bringing mine.
FYI, there are a couple new pics on the photo page for your viewing (and chortling) amusement.
WE'RE GOING TO JACKSONVILLE, BABY - Jan. 23, 2005 - Okay. Sing it with me:
Fly Eagles fly, On your way to victory.
Sorry to you Black And Gold folks, but it's been 25 years! Way too long. No "One For The Thumb." We're still working on one.
SWAN NEWS & THE GIFT - Jan. 1, 2005 - The pork and sauerkraut are socked away in the fridge, Stephanie is watching "West Wing" DVDs, and Kate is sniffling on the couch beside me. Work looms two short days away, and "looms" is the exact right work for it. Time now for a couple holiday snaps.
Just to provide a little perspective, a total of 1,154 capaletti were consumed, compared to 898 capaletti in 2004. Men ate 670 capaletti this year, 58% of all the tasty morsels eaten, while Jamoches accounted for 505, or only 44%. Some of the Jamoche consumption may not have been recorded, slightly skewing the results.
Fly Eagles fly, On your way to victory.
Hit 'em high, Hit 'em low,
Hit 'em 1-2-3, Let's go.
C'mon and fly Eagles fly, On your way to victory.
This picture shows The Swan prominently displayed in Fran & Lisa's apartment. While Fran did get a call before we showed up, we have no reason to believe our heirloom is not in plain view at all times. Fran, in fact, has plans to encase the compartment of the bookcase in plexiglass and to light it with an accent lamp.
Nice.
Here Stephanie roars in glee at having received her very own Eggstrator from Aunt Florence.
Odd.
All the best wishes of the season to you and yours. If you haven't already done so, please register on the message board and keep in touch through the year.
SPIRIT OF THE SEASON - Dec. 18, 2004 - Kate and I went out to snap some pictures of Christmas lights. Just as we were about to knock off and head to Barnes & Noble for a warm beverage, I spied the shadow of a cross on aluminum siding. It drew me to this:
The baby Jesus washed out, but we're making plans to sneak back in with a tripod to take a proper photo. Hey wait. Maybe this is like the grilled cheese Madonna. Maybe the fact that the baby Jesus is proof of some kind of divine intervention in our camera work.
Nah. It's just tacky. Damned tacky.
BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD - Dec. 15, 2004 - With 10 days till Christmas, I bring you this cautionary tale from Down Under:
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Drinking game puts Perth man near death
http://thewest.com.au/20041215/news/general/tw-news-general-home-sto130036.html A 21-year-old Perth man is lucky to be alive after having his stomach ripped open during a beer-skolling game using a home-made device powered by an electric pump. The drinking game at a 21st birthday party in a southern suburb 10 days ago went badly wrong, rupturing the man's stomach and forcing beer straight into his abdomen. The man, who is in St John of God Hospital in Murdoch and spent a week in intensive care fighting for his life, was among a group of friends at a private party who used the device. It is believed to have consisted of a helmet fitted with a jug from which a hose was attached to a pump that was powered by a power drill. Another hose from the pump was placed in his mouth and the pump was switched on, pushing beer from the jug down his throat. The man, a mechanical drafter who did not want his name published, said yesterday that about six other party-goers had used the "jug helmet" before him. "No one else had any problems and I didn't think it would be any different to other things like funnels that people use," he said. "But I knew something wasn't right soon after I drank from it. I started spewing up red stuff and was in a lot of pain." Although he has little memory of the next few days, friends took the man to the Murdoch hospital's emergency department where staff originally thought he was just drunk. When his friends told about the skolling device doctors suspected something was seriously wrong. The man underwent urgent surgery to repair a 10cm tear and was then on life support for a week. Surgeon David Cooke said the split in the wall of the man's stomach had pushed food and beer into his abdominal cavity, making him septic. His insides had to be "washed out" twice and he was put on heavy-duty antibiotics. The man's mother said that for several days it was touch and go. "We were told that if his oesophagus had torn as well he probably would have died," she said. "I know 21-year-olds are out to have some fun but I don't think any of them . . . realised what can happen when these sorts of drinking games get out of hand." She said she did not want to blame anyone for what happened but hoped the device had been destroyed. Health experts yesterday warned people not to build gadgets that allowed the rapid consumption of large amounts of alcohol.
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Don't say it. I've already my capaletti propelling machine. I expect the same kind of safety-mindedness from my other worthy competitors in March.
Let's all be careful out there. - General George Armstrong Custer
SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR THE LADIES - Dec. 4, 2004 - When the cell phone rings at 5 a.m., you know it's going to bee a long day.
Put out that fire, then headed over to our message board. Kudos to Patty and Joanne for registering. Way to go, Aunts!
Btw, pay attention when you click Fresh Sheet. Very realistic, but mildly unsettling.
MORE GNOME NEWS - Nov. 22, 2004 - I obviously have way too much time on my hands at work if I'm clicking through on reuters.com to another story about naked stolen garden gnomes:
Are You Kidding Me?
"The gnomes display naked body parts -- the same ones you'd expect to see in a human peep show," Ullrich said of his missing stars.
The adults-only attraction at Dwarf-Park Trusetal, where visitors peep through keyholes to see the saucy German miniatures in compromising poses, was smashed open early on Thursday morning.
Ullrich said he feared the gnomes would not be traced.
"I doubt they're standing in someone's garden, they'll have to have been hidden inside."
I want answers to three questions:
BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER: Nov. 21, 2004 - The blog thing just didn't work out, so I'm moving the page over to Geocities for us. The coding and uploading will all be much easier fromo here.
Also, there is a new message board for us to use. Yes, you'll have to log in, but from there I think it will be a whole lot easier for folks to create new message threads, etc. Looks like a pretty straightforward site.
As always, let me know what you want to see here, or don't want to see. I'll be adding some new photos in the days ahead.
Anybody for some southern fried Thanksgiving pictures?
JAMOCHES IN THE NEWS: May 14, 2004 - So I'm sitting at work today, and I take a minute out of my work day. I click on over to CNN and amidst the news about a flare-up in fighting around Falujah, I see this link... Naughty gnomes made to cover up. I don't know about you, but it really appears to me that there are Jamoches at loose in the world.
To make sure the morning was worthwhile, I found a special site for the ladies. We're getting into that time of year when everybody is going to treasure the bubble wrap almost as much as the gifts which ride along. Click the image to visit the Virtual Bubblewrap web site. Turn up your pc speakers, and go to town.
Fri Nov 19, 2004 09:19 AM ET: BERLIN - Thieves have stolen scantily clad garden gnomes from a gnome peepshow in an eastern German amusement park, park manager Frank Ullrich said on Thursday.
Please forward to me any similar Jamoche-ish news items you come across so I can include them on the web site.
Freaky.
SUNDAY AFTERNOON WITH THE PHILS AND JIM: April 25, 2004 - Click onto this link to see some blasts from our past supplied by Jamoche Jim. He patiently waited for me to get off my duff and get these pictures posted.
Oh, by the way Ed, I want you to print out the first one and post it in your dorm room. You game?
THE HORROR, OH THE HORROR: April 20, 2004 - Click onto this link to see what all the fuss is about. You will not believe your eyes.
Then go to the journal page to let us know what you think.
THE PHILLIES GAME THAT WASN'T: April 15, 2004 - I really have go to stop trying to go to baseball games in April.
Fran, Lisa, Stephanie, Kate and I had tickets to the April 14 Phillies game, the first night game to be played at The Bank. Phillies management, in its inestimable wisdom, decides to call the game when we are 10 minutes away from the park.
Committed to making the best out of a depressing situation, we picked up Fran and Lisa and headed into Philly for dinner. The ensuing frolic is posted on-line in a gallery I've labeled, The Rain Out.
NFL SCHEDULE RELEASED: April 14, 2004 - The NFL, in its inimitable wisdom, has scheduled the Iggles vs. the Steelers twice this season, once in preseason and again on Nov. 7. What do the Jamoches need to do to prepare for the game?
Any suggestions? Post them in the Journal, and we'll see what develops.
EASTER PICTURES POSTED: April 12, 2004 - So I missed the Birthday Bash, but I made the scene at Maria's for Easter. Taking advantage of my vacation week, I've posted a photo gallery on-line which you can access by clicking this link.
And by the way, Florence, I enlarged the links on the left of the page to help you navigate to the Picture page for all the other images stored on the site. To see the picture of Fran in his kilt, and Jim's favorite kilt picture (at least until September), click on the white words Picture - Us and Others in the menu bar on the left.
Web Site Created: March, 2004 - Since I didn't make it to Birthday Bash 2004, I thought I'd make a small contribution to the ongoing Jamoche lore with this web site. Apologies in advance for butchering the spelling of any sacred words, for example Jamoche. As Edwina long ago made known, I'm no longer a guest. As such, there are certain responsibilities attached with Jamoche-dom, one of them being able to spell the damn words.
Stephanie told me about the new capaletti journal, and it being contained in a Backstreet Boys' journal. Ew. The only true place for Jamoche news, happenings, records of gustatorial splendor and other archival quality information is on the internet. Hence this page.
