(I have nothing to do with these jokes and I hereby distance myself from these jokes)

• After four Tae Kwon Do lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast!
• Tae Kwon Do makes sense. If you practice breaking boards in half, you'll be able to protect yourself the next time a board attacks you!
• I have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. It's not that I'm good, it's just that I never wash it!
• Did you hear of the poor black-belt Tae Kwon Do champ who broke his hand trying to cut a Christmas fruitcake in half?

Fitness

• I KEEP fit by wrestling,
  ............with my conscience.
• MY wife keeps fit by jumping,
  ..............to conclusions.
• SHE was asked if her husband did any exercise.
  .................."Well, he was out last week five nights running."
• WHEN you feel like you need more exercise,
  ......................... lie down until the feeling wears off.
• MONTY took up exercise and now he has the energy of a man twice his age.

This is an extract from "The serious book of One~Liners" by George Coote 1997 Published by Gap Publishing