Nigga-CNN: Jamel Shakir (N-CNN)

Hood Rich III: Black Dynamite II ●
3HR3CH1: 0. “Hood Rich III: Black Dynamite II”
3HR3CH1: 1. [Sullen] O: “My pops use to say, ‘Ain’t no man telling me when and where I can stick my ----.’ I wasn’t tryin’ to insult you, man.” / Z: “It’s just your personality, right?”
3HR3CH1: 2. Z: “My pops raised me a little differently, so I can’t give these niggas a reason to say you bein’ fatherly to me. They-waitin’ on you to call me ‘Son’.”
3HR3CH1: 3. O: “All-I-was-trynna-say-is you just can’t expect these otha-niggas to give you all-ya props if you don’t acknowledge the code, here.’”
3HR3CH1: 4. Z: “You think I’m-hatin’-on-you.” / O: “Most-niggas-do. But, naw, I don’t—that’s why we started out cool.”
3HR3CH1: 5. Z: “Man, they-sayin’-I’m too soft. So, I can’t let any disrespect slide or they-say I-punked-out. I thought that I was coming here to kill you, tonight: you-too-big to fight.” / O: “[Silent].”
3HR3CH1: 6. Z: “You-lucky, man. You-got-ya pops size, man. My pops is as big as you, so I wound up buff—but slim—so, I gotta-be vicious.” / O: “Severe Entertainment.” / Z: “Severe Entertainment.”
3HR3CH1: 7. Z: “They told me 107.9 won’t play your song, man. I know that shit hit you hard, man.” / O: “They ain’t hatin’-on the music, man— they-hatin’-on us. The song? Man… …they used to call my pops Black Dynamite.” / Z: “[Silent].”

3HR3CH2: 0. “Hood Rich III: Black Dynamite II” [Temporary Restriction: Unrated]…

3HR3CH3: 0. “Hood Rich III: Black Dynamite II” [Clean Version]
3HR3CH3: 1. [Frantic] Z: “They’ll say you takin’ my Zone. You-got-all-ah Piedmont!” / O: [Nasally Mocking] “You-got-all-ah Piedmont.” / Z: “You-postin’-up in The Darlington parkin’-lot: it’s not the same.”
3HR3CH3: 2. Z: “Farrakhan is being generous in referrin’ ta-these-shits as ‘Street Organizations’, man. We-bein’-nice, here.” / O: “You eat last, here.” / Z: “I still eat without takin’ a punk-plate.”
3HR3CH3: 3. Z: “The yard-mentality ain’t-got much of a yard to me: it’s just a vicious center for rediscovery.” / [Finally smiling] “You-the-one gotta-be-vicious-may. Don’t put that shit on me, may.”
3HR3CH3: 4. Z: “They think we’ve come for their bitches. They do not even know why we’re here.” / O: “So, you-on’t-wont-narn-one?”
3HR3CH3: 5. Z: “How hard could it be finding an Albino that rotates a lime-green sweater & sky-blue jeans at Georgia Tech?” / O: “That’s yo-collection, man.”
3HR3CH3: 6. O: “But, I’ll say this, they-gone lock you up roamin’ Georgia Tech catchin’-ah albino.” / Z: “They-gone lock you up; they catch you in a Buckhead parkin’-lot choppin’-it-up with Becky, bro.”
3HR3CH3: 7. Z: “They-say I’ll ‘Virginia Tech’ & you’ll do a reckless donut.” / O: “Safe relegation.” / Z: “Safe relegation.”
3HR3CH3: 8. O: “You’ll get locked up ta-catch-ah albino?” / Z: “I ain’t never seen one this fine, and my Jailhouse Lawyer say-they-got bigger-fish-ta-fry: big like you, nigga.”
3HR3CH3: 9. Z: “Naw, that’s my Street Lawyer gettin’ paid-off like a dirty-cop. Jailhouse Lawyers are real, and so is this Penitentiary Doctoral Program that I’m writing a proposal for. We-on-ah-mission-fella.” / O: “[Silent].”

3HR3CH4: 0. “Hood Rich III: Black Dynamite II” [Temporary Restriction: Unrated]…

101 Stupid Things Women Do— ●
To Mess Up Their Lives ●
4LS101CH0: 0. “LS101: 101 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives”
4LS101CH0: 1. “LS101: 101: Man Trap: The Golden Archers”
4LS101CH0: 2. “LS101: 101: The Son of Stewart ס”

Man Trap: The Golden Archers ס ●

4LS101CH1: 1. A: “The Son of Stewart should be about moderation & discipline. Yeah, he-do anything I say do, and this shit ain’t-got-nothin’ ta-do-wit Atlanta.” / Z: “Ah.”

4LS101CH1: 2. A: “Get a degree, go to church, get married, have a couple of kids. If you get married—stay married.” / Z: “Ah.”
4LS101CH1: 3. A: “Multiple degrees are for Medical Doctors & Lawyers, and formula is for Chemists & Scientists.” / Z: “Ah.”
4LS101CH1: 4. A: “Marijuana is a gateway-drug and homosexuality can be treated with medication if taken on a consistent basis… if you suck a nigga ----, then, I really can’t help you with that.” / Z: “Ah.”
4LS101CH1: 5. A: “Only use the library-computers to look for a job—and, never… never… let anyone up-you-off-yo computer.” / Z: “Ah.”
4LS101CH1: 6. A: “If you have something to say to a person—write’em a letter.” / Z: “Ah.”
4LS101CH1: 7. A: “Fuck The East-Side! South Central is where you build from, not where you remain. Fuck BSV! Her sons ain’t do shit with-they life because she didn’t give a shit if they went to school or not! Fuck them-niggas.” / Z: “Ah!”/ A: “Next!”
4LS101CH1: 8. A: “Who is Frankie?” /…./ Z: “You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to beat a crack-head & a prostitute.” / A: “Please. I don’t even have to wake up that early. Next!”
4LS101CH1: 9. A: “It’s a fixed game. I told him kill her. I’ll pay the plane fare to ship him myself. They’ve already done it—they’ve just left that part out.” / Z: “Ah!”/ A: “Next!”

4LS101CH2: 1. B: “Who is Chris Rock?” / Z: “You-silly-you can’t act like-” / B: “I’m serious- who is Chris Rock to Kanye?”
4LS101CH2: 2. B: “Who is Frankie? Please! I’ll throw a wig on & pass out Bidis! You hear me?” / Z: “[Rollin’].”
4LS101CH2: 3. B: “Ain’t no such thing. I ain’t never heard-no nigga walkin’-‘roun talkin’ ‘bout he from Thug Life Army—sound-like some bullshit to me. If this is Thug Life; this is how you prove it to me…” / Z: “You-too-much.”
4LS101CH2: 4. [To the sky] B: “You niggas love your Tupac, but you do not care how he died.” / Z: “True.” / B: “It’s like Biggie said, ‘Mo-money—mo- problems.’ Keep it movin’! Next!’”
4LS101CH2: 5. B: “Why was Kari Hilson in Fabulous’ video?” / Z: “Why?” / B: “Her and that nigga fell out! Cheatin’-ass-nucka!”
4LS101CH2: 6. B: “What’s that Public Enemy girl?” / Z: “Isis?” / B: “Was it Isis?” / Z: “Sista Souljah!” / B: “Sister Souljah! She wrote that book-”

4LS101CH3: 1. B: “Sista Souljah wrote that book about that lil’ African boy and lil’ Japanese girl: not understanding what the other person is really saying is really the best way to save a relationship.” / Z: “Oh my goodness!”
4LS101CH3: 2. Z: “Who cheated?” / B: “Who-you-think? If they ain’t married after 2 years—they ain’t getting married!”
4LS101CH3: 3. B: “Malcolm Jamal Warner turned out to be a nice young man—got that new show. I know his mother is so proud. So articulate, well rounded—a nice young man.” / Z: “Where’s Nicolette?” / B: “Who?”
4LS101CH3: 4. B: “Who is that lil’ man Janet Jackson married?” / Z: “Jermaine Dupri?” / B: “Jermaine Dupri! His restaurant been-close-down [2008]. So long millionaires’-frow. Hà-há!” / Z: “Hà-há!”
4LS101CH3: 5. B: “Usher’s wife done-keyed his car.” / Z: “Ex-wife-” / B: Same-difference…only women do shit like scratch ah-nigga car up.”

4LS101CH4: 1. Z: “Samekh? What-the-hell kind of name is that for a baby?” / B: “Some ol’ Black Hebrew gobbledygook! She should’ve name that baby ah-nigga-name, somethin’ like Tyrone, Leroy…”
4LS101CH4: 2. B: “That’s not Jay-Z’s—that’s Rhiannah’s song.” / Z: “So?” / B: “So, they was-like, ‘Pssst… Chris… man-up: break-bread.’”
4LS101CH4: 3. B: “Jay-Z got ah-hundred problems, now!” Z: “101!” / B: “Hanh?” / Z: “101 problems! Hà-hán!” / B: “Hà-hán!”
4LS101CH4: 4. B: “Trouble in Paradise! Tropic Thunder!” /…./ Z: “Brazil?” / B: “Brazil!” / Z: “[Doubles over].”
4LS101CH4: 5. B: “I won 500 mobile-minutes last week: I know what I’m doin’.” / Z: “[Laughs tears].” ס

Hood Rich II: Tear Dropס ●
3HR2CH1: 1. [Hood Rich II: A Ghetto PSA] Z: “I am released. I am The Son of Stewart to you niggas. I declare Buckhead… ZONE 0. Silly? Yes. But, I am serious.”
3HR2CH1: 2. Z: [Room applauding] “Hey, thanks for getting me out—for the new apartment—appreciate-ya.” / A: “Just remember: you ain’t Tupac, I ain’t Suge, and this ain’t The Dungeon Family.”
3HR2CH1: 3. V: “The money for the studio-time was one thing, but now, you owe that man a favor.” / Z: [Ashamed] “2.” / V: “Haanh?[!]” / Z: “2 favors.”
3HR2CH1: 4. Z: “Have you seen or heard from Bella?” / [Cautious] V: “Yeah, but that was 2 or 3 years ago, now. She had 2 or 3 kids with her, then.” / Z: “Please tell her she still got-my-heart. I-gotta-go.”

3HR2CH2: 1. O: “Never let a bitch stick her finger in ya-ass, man: she’ll lose respect fa-ya afta-dat.” / Z: “What if she just wants to toss-my-salad?” / O: “Then, that’s a toss-up… but, that’s Lesson III.”
3HR2CH2: 2. O: “You bought that bitch a ticket back to Huston?[!]” / Z: “Full-Flex-” / O: “What the-”
3HR2CH2: 3. Z: “She-got me on her video-phone, man-” / O: “Bitches fall for that shit! Not…. Mán, I ain’t just hear you say that shìt.”
3HR2CH2: 4. O: “She told you she was Black, she told that silly nigga she was… mán, I ain’t hear you just say that shìt.” / Z: “[Silent].”
3HR2CH2: 5. O: “Bella, Toya, Erykah, Mica— Nigga! [Ah-ha!] You soft on honeys-wit-the-light-eyes and don’t even know it!” / Z: “No I’m not.” / O: “Yeah, you-” / Z: “No I’m not!”
3HR2CH2: 6. O: “Chris Rock got a bitch scared to whip-her-crop, and you don’t even care if a bitch is bald on top, long-as-she-can pop-you-out-ah-baby wit-light-eyes.” / Z: “Naw.” / O: “Yeah!” / Z: “Naw, man-”
3HR2CH2: 7. [Room: Heated] O: “Don’t trip. It’s primal. You can’t control it.” / [Withdrawn] Z: “Hey, thanks for Lesson II, man—appreciate-ya.”
3HR2CH2: 8. [Speaking to himself] Z: “I know what I-wanna-say… I just don’t know how to say it… ta-yo-suster.”
3HR2CH3: 1. O: “Ay-why-we-still-at-ah table full-ah-fellas, man? It’s been a month of this shit, now. What the-” / Z: “You really wanna-know?”
3HR2CH3: 2. Z: “So-what-you-tell’em when a chick ask-you what The Tear Drop means, man?” / O: “You really wanna-know?”

3HR2CH4: 1. [Room: Smoke filled] A: “Break-bread with the nigga. Did he disrespect you? Call you Shawty, Son, Boy-” / Z: “No… he made me look stupid.” / A: “Break-bread with the nigga. ZONE 0?” / Z: “ZONE 0.” / A: “So be it.”
3HR2CH4: 2. A: “Yeah, so, I had to get you away from the brown-eye-bandit, to get you to this green-eye-monster we all praise…. want some ice-cream?” / Z: “Hagen?” / A: “Say it, again?” / Z: “Hagen?” / A: “Say what?” / Z: “What?” [Gris-Gris: Door opens]
3HR2CH4: 3. X: “Holla!” / A: “How-you get in?” / X: “Who left ya-door open?” / X: “I’ll-come-back-I’ll-come-back.” [Gris-Gris: Door closes].
3HR2CH4: 4. A: “Yeah, so, I had to get you away from the brown-eye-bandit, to get you to this green-eye-monster we all praise…. want some ice-cream?” / Z: “Hagen?” / A: “Say it, again?” / Z: “Hagen?” / A: “Say what?” / Z: “What?” [Gris-Gris: Door opens].
3HR2CH4: 5. X: “They-shooin-they-shooin-outside! Come quick!” [Gris-Gris: Door closes].
3HR2CH4: 6. A: “Yeah, so, I had to get you away from the brown-eye-bandit, to get you to this green-eye-monster we all praise…. want some ice-cream?” / Z: “Hagen?” / A: “Say it, again?” / Z: “Hagen?” / A: “Say what?” / Z: “What?” [Gris-Gris: Door opens].
3HR2CH4: 7. X: “Green-lint, a transsexual, and a video-phone. Holla!” / Z: [Nervous, now] “What is she talking about?” / A: “Stop!” / X: “Somebody come stop this revolvin’ door!” [Gris-Gris: Door closes].

3HR2CH5: 1. Z: “Fuck breakin-bread! The Black Black-Market is too self-serving and greedy to support its own Black community—Stokely Carmichael’s autobiography.” / A: “Fuck Stoke!”
3HR2CH5: 2. A: Ol’ Stoke [Stokely Carmichael] ran straight to Africa & start-callin’-his-self African, nigga. Fuck them-Africans, folk. You-African?” / Z: “I’m ah-nigga-” / A: “That’s what I’m sayin’-[coughs]-”
3HR2CH5: 3. Z: “He was a nigga-” / A: “No he-” / Z: “He was from-” / [Hallway echo] X: “Holla!” / A. “She-say-you her son, SHAKA.” / Z: “It’s not SHAKA, It’s-”
3HR2CH5: 4. A: “The more you walk-roun’ imitatin’ SHAKA… the more white-folk love-ta walk-roun’ you, man—the more yo-ass become SHAKA-like… the more they wanna-lock-yo-Black-ass-up!” / Z: “[Laughing].”
3HR2CH5: 5. A: “Nigerians, Ghanaians—wished ah-plague-ah-Zwides on that nigga SHAKA—ery-night—fo-they went to sleep!” / Z: “[Doubles over].”
3HR2CH5: 6. [Impersonation] A: “Ah-plague-ah-Zwides, SHAKA! On—you! On—all—of—your—people! Good night! Fuck them-Africans, folk!” / Z: “[Laughs tears].” ס

Hood Rich I: The Last King of Buckhead ●

(The Recaps)

3 CH8FM5: 6. Z: “These niggas will kill, not just me & mine, but also my nosey next door neighbors for this $30,000 recording studio. So, I just tried looking as unassuming as possible, and the Black women just tried treating me like ----.” / L: “Ah.”
3 CH9FM6: 6. L: [Sarcastic] “So what made you the King of Buckhead?” / Z: “I f----d with the money and it’s getting’ ugly as coyote.” / L: “Well, [clears throat] I’m impressed.” / Z: “[Silent].”

3 CH8FM5: 1. L: “You know what they-sayin’ ‘bout you? That they locked you up in a mental facility and let you out on some kind of government assistance program.” / Z: “It’s true.”
3 CH7FM6: 1. HR1: Z: “It’s like a sport. We-just roll through; see how many times we can get our ---- sucked.” /…./ L: “These niggas down here fightin’ over ---- ------. I’m out.” / Z: [Begs] “Wait.”