Saturday April 13, 2002 12:39p.m.
Ok I did 2 journal entries on this page but I think I over wrote the page and they were lost so Im just going to do a summary of what I said that Ican remember in breckets, then teh rest will have been new from last NIGHT. [ Friday April 12, 2002 *unknown time* OMG OMG OMFG,I just came back from lunch with Teru, you have nooooooooooooooo idea how happy this has made me, we atr for about 45mins then we parted ways, he's goign to Montral tomorrow, just eating with him has kinda negated the negativity that I've been feeling this week, he's like the MOST perfect guy I've ever seen, coulsd he be the one that Ma-Jar could love, awwwwwwwwwwww that would be soooooooo coolz, but he's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay tooooooo good for the likes of me so I won't try to pursue it, it would just be a waste of time and a rejection, besides, he deserves to be with someone better] [ Friday April 12, 2002 *unknown time* Awwwwwwwww The singers at Take Back the Night were soooooooooo coolz, I loved it, it was soooooooo coolz, and then that video of the battered woman was like awwwwwww but in a negative way] Ok now that tha tis over with I'm going to start on todays journal. Last night was soooooo coolz, I went to the bar only to meat my friend Timmy since he was going to be there for spring break *that's the only reason I went to the bar* but he didn't show *remind me to castrate him* but then I saw ohter people there and I had a hell of a good time so it was like sooooooooooo coolz and such, I shook this person's hand and he tried to do like one of those ghetto handshakes with me and then I was thinking, hey something is odd, then he shook the hands of other people and he did it like normally and I was just htinking to myslef "my god, I should shack the grease off of your face" , but it was only a thought, I'm not going to start a fight with some stranger, especialy one that can't pose a threat to me physically, but still the audacity of him, I was soooooooooooooooo tempted to step on him like a bug. After that a group of us went to Lums, it was sooooooo coolz, but with amount of flaming fags and raging bull dykes, it was like an infestation of gay people, but it was soooo coolz, I had a good time and a free breakfast, then I came back to my room, watched some tv, then sit the sac, but hey I'm going to eat with Tony in like 1 hour so that's DEFIANTELY coolz, and she went to Take Back the Night so that was soooooooooo coolz. Ok now onto something slightly more .... I was looking back on things that I said that I would NEVER do like curse, and say Goddamn *I did that for the first time in my life last semester* and I was thinking, if I was capable of saying that, then other things that I wouldn't do just b/c of of like being worried about being damned I might do as well like in the far future. I still don't think that I would ever do certain things such as like performing Silence Glaive Apply *those of you that know senshi KNOWS what happens to the senshi that performs this attack so you know what I really mean* I don't think I would ever do it, but from past things that I've done that I thought I would never do I can't ever say that it's a definate that I wouldn't and with that weird mood that I've been in for the past couple *more than 2* days, I DEFINATELY can't say that it will be inpossible, but I can say that I strongly don't think I would use Silence Glaive Apply. I don't know what the fuck has been up with me this week, I've had to fake smiles just so people don't think that something is wrong, but there is, I'm just not totaly certain, part of it is that I won't have my kitty kat here for the summer but I KNOW that's not the reason. It started I think it might have been last week with something involving my foot, I think that was just a catalyst for my bad mood, it's only gotten worse from there, I could bearly hide it wednesday night, but then I was able to control it the other days, but last night for a wile I could bearly hide it, but I was able to so that's good. That lunch with Teru negated it for a little while, *sigh* my Teru, my Mamoru, my Endymion. But that was 24hours ago, and to make matters worse it's gloomy outside, which is very bad for my mood, the sun light is gone which is good for my eyes but the gloomyness will only make my mood worse off than b4. Oh well, I'll be eating with Tony in about 18mins or so so that should put me in a waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better mood, so YaY, well I wrote alot today, laterz all. NEHELENIA my mofos. P.H.C. forever.

Saturday April 13, 2002 3:11p.m.
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I had SUCH a close heart attack, I actually almost hyperventelated, I changed it to the cmapus movie on channel 14 and then who do I see but JAMES LANCE BASS OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. On the Line is on and I'm like OMG OMG OMG it's not EVEN funny, you have noooooooooooooooo idea how muchthis has negated my negativity, it's like OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. That's it for now. laterz all. NEHELENIA my mofos. P.H.C. forever.

Sunday April 14, 2002 3:12a.m.
OMG, I had such a good time tonight, and I was only affected by the negativity for about 15mins this time. Like all of friends were out tonight, it was just sooooooo coolz, there was even this drunk lady there, and if I didn't already know her adn she wasn't already drunk, I would have punished her in the name of the moon for certain things she said, but since she was drunk I let it pass this time, I have a problem holding things against people when they are drunk, even if they do call me a "fucking nigger" I still gave her a hug:-) We went out to Lums again and once again I had a free breakfast, it was soooooooooo coolz. There will be a variety show there today (sunday) but I don't think I'm going to go, ESPECAILLY if I don't get this reading done with so I better get started.Ok, back to the negativity problem, I don't think that this is really good thingy, mostly b/c it's been going on for this long, ever since the foot thingy in the lounge, ever since then it's just been *DW*. Laterz all. NEHELENIA my mofos. P.H.C. forever.

Sunday April 14, 2002 11:49a.m.
WoW, I just had this dream that I was one of the Charmed ones, more pspecifically Piper, and I had created this spell to trun me in to a shadow. Ok here it goes. Light bends, shadows reflect, turn us into shadows, oh what the heck. Unfortunately it only put a pair of shadow gloves and socks on me but those allowed me to move around like a shadow so it was definately coolz. Well I had to write that in the second I awoke, so now I'm gonna take a piss then shower. Laterz all. NEHELENIA my mofos. P.H.C. forever.

Sunday April 14, 2002 11:58a.m.
Ok I just came back from taking a weeeeeeeeee and brushing my theetha and I have to say that dreams are a funny thing. I was Piper and yet at the same time I wasn't. It was like I could se eher body moving and yet I was in total control as thought it was natural. It was like aI was on the outside looking in, but still in ocntrol. It was sooooooooooo coolz you wouldn't belive. Well Dale, Mathew and Nathan should be arriving today (I'm guessing more than 12 hours from now), either I would have completd my reading and be at the variety show, or I will STILL be in my room reading (I'm betting on the latter of the 2). Wouldn't you know it, I'm talking about them and Nathan IM's me out of the blue (pure luck that I looked at my away message or I wouldn't have even known till he logged off) , meaning that they are still there, and since I think it takes them 13 hours t get here I'm guessing around 1 or 2 soemthing, depending on traffic and such, or they might get here sooner. But either way it would be coolz to see the 3 of them again, then I can tell them about my hella good weekend. Laterz all. NEHELENIA my mofos. P.H.C. forever.