OUR STORY
A
Script for a 1-Hour TV Film
Starring
JON STEWART
With
MOS DEF as ALPHA
KATE HUDSON as OMEGA
Special
appearances by:
MO ROCCA, QUEEN LATIFAH, JEANINE GARAFALO, CHRIS ROCK,
and PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON
by TESAFE WILLIAMS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
PRELUDE
On a Black Screen, the words appear:
On October 22, 1999, the international TV news media showed photos taken
from the Hubble space telescope which gave the closest view ever of the
creation of planetoid life.
The photos showed swirls of gases bubbling together, looking like giant splashes of milky white liquid being squirted into an inky void.
Indeed, if this was truly the act of Creation, it looked very much like the view seen from inside a womb into which a giant ejaculation had just taken place.
Our story begins on the other side of the photo.
SCENE ONE
Our view is filled with a giant, multi-coloured egg, painted in beautiful intricate designs. As the camera examines the egg, we see scenes of animals, trees, flowers, skyscapes, mountains, forests, deserts, beaches.
When we have completed a revolution of the egg's surface and are once again at our starting point, the egg divides into two halves which show that the surface pattern actually included the outlines of a male and female form embracing.
A voice speaks, which sounds like an electronic combination of both a man and a woman.
ALPHA: "THAT's CLOSE!
OMEGA: "RUDE!
ALPHA:"The curiosity of those man children has no boundaries. Next thing they'll be climbing through the birth canal and arriving on our Paradise doorsteps, without going through the normal avenues of Life and Death!
OMEGA: "Well, You did voice your reservations about making Man just like Ourselves."
ALPHA: "Yes darling, but that was only to put the other point of view, the Ying and Yang, the Alpha and Omega. If I had known that they would take OUR intelligence this far, I would never have allowed US to be so generous.
OMEGA:"I
know. I pressed for unlimited intelligence in the hope that they would
use it to develop their spiritual capacity in the search for the Meaning
of Life.
But the human creatures we created like OURSELVES have turned our Paradise
into a place of misery. They kill each other in horrible ways and call
it war. They make laws saying it’s OK to kill the unborn child in
the womb, and to legalise the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah. They have made
money their God and only bow those who have plenty of it.
They hate each other’s worship of OUR many selves and manifestations, claiming that their form of worship is the only one that WE accept. Instead of becoming Gods as they were created to be, they have used their Godly intelligence to be gods enslaving each other, and to expand their scientific knowledge in the search for the Secrets of the Universe."
ALPHA: "Secrets of the Universe, indeed! They want to find the Secret of the Creator OURSELF."
OMEGA: "Can't we stop them?
ALPHA: "How? Their technology brings them closer every day.
OMEGA: "Then let us prepare OURSELVES for that eventuality.
SCENE TWO
OMEGA claps her hands, and where the background was a blue sky with puffy white clouds, it changes instantly into the gilded roof over an ornate hall of a royal palace.
Courtiers sprouting angels wings beneath their pale blue uniforms bow at the foot of two jewelled thrones, on which sit ALPHA and OMEGA. Though they sit on separate thrones, the impression of oneness is given by how they sit, their inner arms embraced across the other's shoulder, and the outer arms with their huge golden-white wings resting across their laps to meet in a point at their feet.
OMEGA: Archangel Gabriel! How soon do you estimate they will be here?
ARCHANGEL GABRIEL; “O Holy and Mighty Exalted Excellence, the way they are all racing each other to put up communications satellites, and larger more powerful telescopes and space stations and flights, I say give them another eighteen months and they will surely have found out how to place a probe in the middle of our latest seed bed, right through to your bedchamber -- if you'll pardon my rudeness in referring to so delicate a matter.
ALPHA and OMEGA turn to each other and, looking deeply into each other
eyes, confer telepathically. Then they turn to ARCHANGEL GABRIEL.
"Okay, here's what we're going to do. "
SCENE THREE
A busy scene in the newsroom of COMEDY CENTRAL TV studios. Outside, night is falling and the lights of New York are coming on outside the windows of the studio.
JON STEWART
is wrapping up another edition of his popular TV show "THE DAILY
SHOW" with a story about the new photos of the galaxy.
(Here is inserted actual TV news footage.)
He finishes reading the story, and says goodnight.
The people on the studio floor hold all action until the countdown is
finished, when they break into noise and action, lights are switched off,
cameras moved out of position.
JON STEWART packs up the papers on the desk, gets up, makes some end-of-work
humourous comments and says his goodnights, heading out the door.
SCENE FOUR
STEWART takes the lift down, says goodnight to the doorman, walks to the curb and hails a taxi, which stops. He opens the door, gets in and gives the driver his address, opens a newspaper and starts to read-- hardly noticing either the driver or the route he is taking.
...until ...
... he notices that the city lights have dropped away below him, and he has the sensation of being in a plane ...
SCENE FIVE
He looks out the window and panics at what he sees, for the Earth is indeed dropping away below him and he is on a very unusual rocket ride.
STEWART leans
over to the front seat and grabs the driver's shoulder, shouting:
"What the hell is this -- a kidnapping?
But the driver
turns a smiling face. It is ARCHANGEL GABRIEL.
"Relax, JON. You're about to get a world exclusive to end all world
exclusives.
SCENE SIX
We are once
again in the Throne Room, into which the taxi containing JON STEWART is
flying in like a small aircraft. As it lands, the sides fall away and
disappear leaving a soft velvet-lined sofa, from which a very surprised
... speechless,
STEWWART rises.
"Good God!
Right the first time," says QUEEN OMEGA, rising then descending the steps to meet STEWART. "I hope you had a pleasant journey. Certainly a unique one."
STEWART looks around him, and sees clouds of small cherubs floating above him, he hears quiet peaceful music and the tinkle of fountains, happy laughter of children playing, notices the beautiful men and women reading, eating, talking, sitting around...
STEWART's legs buckle and he falls to his knees weakly.
"Good God," he says in a whisper.
"Precisely..." says QUEEN OMEGA.
STEWART considers this for a moment, then his critical faculties return.
"I thought God was a man."
OMEGA ; "Well, actually, we're both. Man and Woman, Alpha and Omega. How else could we make man and woman in our likeness if we weren't male and female also?"
STEWART:"You mean that the argument that God created Man like him, then made woman as his helper to serve him, is not the true story?"
OMEGA laughs
beautifully.
"So is that why we made all the female animals and plants and fishes
too? I didn't know you Earth people told such funny stories. You must
tell me more when we have time. Come JON, we have a lot of work to do."
STEWART regains his composure.
"Come? Where? Is this some kind of elaborate joke? Why have I been
brought here.?" (Then a thought suddenly strikes him.) "Am I
dead? Am I being judged for entry to ... Heaven?"
His voice gets soft, but he is not begging.
OMEGA laughs again.
“No, JON. WE like your show, hope it runs for many years, so WE are not ready for your wonderful company just yet. Your time to return to the light is not scheduled for today. You're here because we have a job for you. WE want you to interview US.
STEWART: “WHAT!!!
OMEGA: "Interview
us. Ask questions. Any question you want. WE have been noticing the growing
interest in things celestial by you Earth people. You have solved many
mysteries: Black holes, quasars, you have sent probes to Mercury and Venus
and you have even sent out probes to galaxies you aren't even sure exist.
Finally, you have grown near to solving the greatest mystery of all --
Creation.
So WE picked you -- the best of the questioners -- to question IS. Ask US anything you want,
STEWART: "Me?
OMEGA:"Yes, any question. Think of it. Ask what made me decide to send Christ as Mary's Virgin birth. Or, why did I forgive David after he had sinned so greatly? How I managed to part the Red Sea -- although that's a little trick I'M a bit reluctant to disclose. B U T there is one condition: If you do not ask the question that forces US to answer the greatest mystery of all Creation, then WE will seal up the door between Heaven and Earth for another millennium, until WE decide it shall be opened.
STEWART
(considers for a moment)
"The question that forces you to answer the greatest mystery of all
Creation... you give me a huge responsibility... to question you on behalf
of all mankind!
And if that's not enough, to ask the question that will open the door
for Mankind to become as God! Whew! Don’t know if I’m really
qualified for that job. Why didn’t you invite Larry King …
or Peter Jennings… or Barbara Walters?
Now there’s some folks who can really ask some deep questions.
OMEGA (smiles)
Only you, JON STEWART, would be smart enough to turn OUR statement around
like that. Now I'm sure we made the right choice. You willing to take
on the assignment?
STEWART: Do I have a choice? The Interview of the Century?!!! Of course I will. When do we begin?
OMEGA: Well, WE can adjust you so that you don't need food or rest, and WEcan do a week’s work in just a few hours. But if you want to follow your body rhythms, we can offer accommodations as luxurious as any you have ever experienced.
STEWART: "I bet you can! Well, since I'm here, might as well enjoy
the sights. I'll need some time to research the subject and consider my
questions. I expect room service can fix me up with a toothbrush, and
no doubt there's a Gideon on the bedside table."
OMEGA smiles
and claps her hands happily.
"Forgive WE for surprising you like this. WE’LL arrange it
so that no one will notice you're gone.
Shaking his head and looking around in wonder, STEWART is led away by
two young ANGELS. As he departs, he stops and turns again to ALPHA and
OMEGA.
STEWART: “I guess this is my first question: Are you two married, or what? I mean, clearly there’s no taboo about inter-racial marriage up here!”
ALPHA and OMEGA laugh heartily.
“That would be so silly. We are ALL colours.” And as they speak, their skin colour and faces change from black to white, white to black, to Asian, to Indian, Amerindian, Jewish, Arab and back to their original forms.”
STEWART’s amazement shows on his face, as he walks on.
SCENE SEVEN
STEWART passes a line of people waiting to speak to a Being looking like a combination of all Hindu gods, sitting behind a desk with the sign: ‘REINCARNATION APPLICATIONS’. An older woman at the front of the line is saying:
1ST WOMAN: “A butterfly, please. Just want to see my daughter for a moment. She likes butterflies.”
The Being behind the desk looks up data on a computer, then turns to the woman.
ARCHANGEL: “First visit, eh? Joined us three months ago. OK. Go have a quick look.”
The woman steps towards a portal beside the desk, steps through and is magically transformed into a small butterfly. A scene appears in the portal of a young woman sitting under a shady tree in a garden, reading a book. A butterfly flitters above her and she looks up, smiling.
The next person in line, a man, steps up to the desk.
1ST MAN: “Feel like some exercise, My Lord. Some long distance running would be good.”
The ARCHANGEL checks the computer again, then nods approval. In the portal the man becomes a beautiful, fast horse galloping across a wide plain.
Next is another
woman, saying:
2nd WOMAN: I was pregnant with my first child when I came here. We didn’t
make it through childbirth. I really wanted to have that child.”
The Being at the desk presses his button, and in the portal we see a scene from Sea World, where a news reporter VOICE OVER is telling us that the Beluga whale we see swimming around in a large pool, is about to give birth.
STEWART walks on, accompanied by his ANGELS.
SCENE EIGHT
OMEGA to ALPHA: I hear someone calling. I think it's that mother with five daughters ... can you deal with it please dear....
SCENE NINE
It is midnight in the inky blackness of a tropical countryside. Outside a small one-room shack a thin black woman kneels on the bare earth, her hands raised up to the sky. On the wall of the house is painted a portrait of Emperor Haile Selassie I. Beside the woman is a coal stove set on a pile of stones, on which an oven is baking food. Nearby is a large plastic tub in which clothes are soaking. In close up we see that tears on the woman’s face make a silver streak down each cheek. She is talking softly,
IONIE: “Jah, why have you forsaken me? I have tried so hard to please you, and still you don’t answer my prayers. Look at my children, sleeping with empty bellies. Look at me rising up at 4 in the morning to wash their clothes and to make coconut drops to sell outside their school gate, so we can buy soap and matches and cornmeal. You know it isn’t easy for me, yet I do my best. I go to church every Sunday and I read the Bible to my children every night before they fall asleep.
Help me,
JAH. I really, really need your help. We haven’t eaten for two days,
nothing except dry coconut and sugar. The children’s brains will
get stunted if they don’t eat. They will go mad from humger. JAH
JAH, help us no?
Please hear my cry, Father God. PLEASE.”
SCENE TEN
ALPHA claps his hands with a smile, and an ANGEL appears carrying a Ledger.
ALPHA: “Let me see IONIE's account. Hmm.... Ah yes, a most righteous woman -- so few of them left. I put her down for economic suffering so that her daughters can learn how to be good women like their mother. There just aren't enough teachers today for the young women... so many women becoming mothers who can't teach girl children anything. IONIE is strong, and her life is an example to her daughters and to the neighbours in her community. I will never forsake her.”
STEWART has overheard all this and asks:
”So why does that good woman and her children have to suffer. Can't
you make it easier for her, and still teach your lessons?
ALPHA turns to the ANGEL.
“Let her use her last Twenty Dollars to buy a lottery ticket, and
let her win Ten Thousand Dollars. Not too much money to change her lifestyle
totally, but enough to let her buy some provisions and set up a proper
cook shop. I know IONIE will make a success of her small fortune and the
children will see that prayer works miracles.”
OMEGA turns
to STEWART with a smile.
“This is how WE run t’ings up here.
ALPHA smiles to OMEGA. “I like your Jamaican accent.”
Then he speaks
to JON:
“That’s two questions JON. You still here? Off with you. Go
explore the Kingdom and prepare your real questions.”
SCENE ELEVEN
The Kingdom of Heaven Tour begins. It is a flyover view of the most beautiful places on Earth:
•
The Stone Churches of Lalibela, Ethiopia
• Myers Rock, Australia
• A beautiful beach, Jamaica
• A Polynesian island
• A beautiful flower garden
• A large meadow with cows grazing
• Whales playing in the sea
• The Pyramids of Egypt
• The temples of Bali
• The temples of Tibet
• The Taj Mahal
• The White Cliffs of Dover
• The flower farms of Grasse, France
• The fjords of Norway
• Venice, Italy
• An Adobe vlllage, New Mexico
• The Galapagos Islands
• Dunns River Falls, Jamaica
• The Blue Nile Falls, Ethiopia
• The Kremlin Palaces
• Princess Diana’s Fountain, Hyde Park, England
• The Museum of Modern Art, New York City
• A small Christian church in an African village
• A family of Jews eating Sabbath dinner
• People encircling the Kaballah Stone at Mecca Hajj
• A Rastafari Nyabinghi
• A group of young children playing in a playground
• A mother nursing her baby
• A father playing ball with his son
• A beautiful man and woman kissing with LOVE
The camera pulls into Close UP on their faces, then pulls out to a view of their backs as they walk away. On the back of their T-shirts is the word LOVE.
The word LOVE enlargens to fill the entire screen. Roses and other flowers
fall onto the screen until it is filled and the word is covered. As the
camera pulls out, we see that the roses cover a white sheet on a bed in
a white room.
JON STEWART falls onto the rose-covered bed and falls asleep.
SCENE TWELVE
JON STEWART awakes and rubs his stomach. As he does, food appears on a table beside him. Beside it is a Bible. He picks it up and starts reading, eating and drinking the food as he reads.
He sees a pen and paper, and starts making notes as he reads.
