Vanity Fair
Every time I open a Details or Out magazine, I have noticed increasingly how there is no true representation of who I am as a gay black male in the Midwest. This has caused me to become somewhat disconnected from the gay community as a whole. The silent, unseen majority of gays find no real connection between our lives and the lives portrayed by the media as being the gay “ Norm.” Since the inception of shows like Will & Grace, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and, Queer as Folk, a new/renewed breed of Ken Dolls & GI Homo clones have sprung up. These new groups of elite homo-men have set the unobtainable standards in which all gay men must adhere to and meet. Constantly saying that all of our self worth as gay men is in only our appearance and sexuality with mass media reinforcing this logic of thinking. Looking back 10 to 15 years ago the “ gay guy” in a movie was always either the horribly flamboyant comic relief or, the villain – as if the media used homosexuality to further make gays look “ a-moral or evil.” Will & Grace and shows like it try to and do engage in serious life issues, still, if it were not for the characters being gay, the show would not exist. Society as a whole says that ones sexuality is a small part of who they are in which ones sexuality does not define them but compliment them. This is something that the Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and, Transgender (GLBT) community has fought for years to be defined by more than our sexuality and have it seen as a compliment to who we are as a people. However, it seems that the only way gays are viewed in any for of media is by our sexuality and the stereotypes that go along with it.
GLBT life is seen as a world full of drag queens, circuit queens, leather men, body dismorphic junkies and, the cute gay and lesbian power couples; who’s interest revolve around sex, drugs and, fashion. All the main characters are white, upper middle to middle class. If there happens to be a gay man of color, they’re seen as the fantasy black “Mandingo, “ the “Latin pool boy” or, “Asian boy.” All being (or at least looking) no older than 25. If they are older, then they are 30 something sex crazed-beauty queens that are every women’s best friend. In which most of the 30 something gays on tv are spending the majority of their time trying to stay forever 21. I used to think that this was an exaggeration of the GLBT community on TV. Yet, when I spend time with friends, go out to gay establishments around my city, all the people in the bars and clubs were looking and acting like the characters from gay television shows. I felt like I was an un-credited extra from QAF. We as a whole were living up to and helping feed the image of gays that the media was promoting. Realistic images of gays in media and film such as the relationship of David and Keith on HBO’s Six Feet Under are over shadowed by the images that are thrown at us by Out magazine and QAF.
Gays have now succumbed to the stereotypes placed upon the community making us nothing more than mollification as opposed to a valued and legitimate segment of society. Queer as Folk piped into our homes, magazines posting near naked men who look like pre-pubescent boys and, Budweiser sporting a pride flag in our (GLBT) honor that seems more gray than anything; our determination now replaced with apathy. We have stopped fighting for what we wanted and have instead chosen to sit on our asses and drink cosmos. Sexuality on gay theme shows (or shows that tackle them) are suppose to only account for 10% of the sexuality in the gay characters lives, then why is the show’s plot made of 90% of it? Members of the community are disheartened by the portrayals of Gays on tv claiming that they resent the representation of who we are, yet most do and act exactly like those in the media. With all the mixed signals, I couldn’t help but wonder; is art imitating life?
“I believe that gays in the media are portrayed as hair dressers make up artists and in general flaming Homo’s. The media never portray the redneck fag, the str8 acting gay man, they show the addicts but they only show them for the love of the drug. Never showing how it affects them and what they wish were there reality just the drama around the drugs.” –Steven B.
When Orson Wells performed War of the Worlds on his radio show, millions world wide believed that Earth was being invaded by aliens. Only to discover that it was nothing more that carefully constructed ruses by the media for entertainment value. No one ever thought to question the broadcast until it was discovered that the broadcast was nothing more that a radio show. The same could be said about how gays are portrayed in the media today. With snapshots of the gay community being exaggerated by the media for selling copies of Men and Out magazine or promote the new hot show of the season that deals with gay themes.
Perhaps in some respects art is imitating life. With the glittering lights of the local dance club serving as the backdrop for the bodice-heaving pretty-boy trysts that glow, half-naked Adonis’ using their manly physicality to elicit whatever emotional reactions needed to get the desired effects they want. Whether it be cutting in line at the market, getting a better deal on real estate, to having someone take complete financial care of them, these are the same antics that gay men perform in television shows and films. By diversifying ourselves in our work, home, and social activities and not just leading by our sexuality, maybe the media would follow suit. It wasn’t long ago when people of color were seen as nothing more than maids and thugs. Now they are viewed as valued members of society, doctors, lawyers, parents and much more. It is because people of color made sure the media knew that there was something more to them than being a crackwhore or hooker. Gays too need to bring light to the fact that we too are doctors, parents and friends, with aspirations, dreams and hobbies, which have nothing to do, with who we screw, and do not revolve around our sexuality.
If gays became more involved with how we are seen in the media, then perhaps we would not be in the state that we are in. Maybe gays in the community should stop being whiny pansies who piss in there pants afraid to tell people to fuck off and stand up for more positive portrayals of GLBT members in the media. Yet, some argue that we need to have a starting point for acceptance and this is the platform for GLBT men and women to use in achieving those goals. Although it is a shitty platform, nonetheless it is a vehicle for us in the GLBT community to step up and let it be known that we are more than the images shown of gays on tv or in print. We still have a long to go in the acceptance department. In the end, I honestly don’t know what is sadder, the fact that we continue to live up to the stereotypical hype of the gay community the media shows or do nothing but complain about it. Maybe it’s the fact that we just continue to read the magazines, watch the show and films while standing idly by. Either way you look at it, it is not the media who are completely at fault, it is we, the community, who has created a monster and continues to feed it. Which may be the saddest thing of all.