August 6, 2002 -- 3:15am I don't know why I placed the date above. I don't plan to update this unless I age, lose a body part, or lose my mind. On second thought, scratch out the latter.. that happens all too often. Well.. here's a list of several things you probably came here to find out. ^.^
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Miscellaneous:
Guys, guys and.. guys ^.^:
Friends *^.^: Dustin, as mentioned above. He really is one of the nicest guys I ever met. And sometimes I blame myself for being so inconsiderate to his emotions. I do care for him, but I really am not a relationship person. And he treats me like I'm the best thing since sliced bread, and I'd really just like to be treated like his brother. Ok, kidding, I take that back. I think that's a joke only him, his brother, my brother, and I would understand heh. But I have this saying I live by: "I'm not a romantic person, so there's no point in a relationship because I'd only ever be a friend. And if that's what I would be in a relationship, then why even 'go out' because all it will do is give me the title of 'girlfriend'." That's really how I feel. Maybe when I'm older I'll understand the meaning of dating. ^.^ I don't remember when, or how, or even perhaps why Kendall knows me, but I've conversed with her since freshman year or so. I wish I could remember how we became acquaintances. I'd bet it was the cause of food though. Now Kendall is a decent person, I hardly know her so I can't say much about her but what we have seems to be slightly mutual. She talks to me when she's bored, and I talk back when I'm bored. Yet one thing about her that's been pissing me off since the moment it happened -- she goes through my backpack. Last year it was a big problem I had to deal with, and like me, I didn't tell her how much I wanted to kill her for it. So she never guessed I hated it. But I keep some personal stuff in my backpack.. and not like "feminine products", I'm talking about poems I write in class, or drawings I'll also create in class that have some moral or significant bearing on myself. Of course she's read just about every poem I ever carried in school, and has seen just about everything I ever drew in class by going through my binders. But this is just minor to when she steals food from my backpack. Last year I didn't eat school lunch, so I carried a lunch or a candybar as lunch and she'd take it. She'd say, "I know you've got food in there.." during class, dig through my bag, and then act surprised when she finds something suitable to her stomach. Hrmph. So I would make an educated guess by saying she ate over a hundred dollars worth of food. I'm hardly joking. I spent twenty dollars a week last year buying my lunches. The majority went to her. Total, she's only ever given me about three dollars worth for miscellaneous things. ...Oh hey this is the "Friends" section.. well like I mentioned I hardly know her. Yes we've talked before, and sometimes she's nice, so overall I'd still say she's a decent person. I just hate when she asks me for something, I'm tired of being taken advantage of.. yet I'd like to think I'm too nice to say no. -.- So, she tried getting me to go to her church the other day. Just thought I'd mention that because I think I made her seem like a bad person so far. This year she's starting to actually ask to dig through my bag now.. after already digging through it. But hey, it's a start. I'm hoping this year I can be more patient with what she does, because quite frankly I'm starting to be less tolerant of people's actions. So, if she ever reads this, I just wanted to summarize my thoughts of her in the following sentences. She's a decent person to talk to, one of few I actually talk to so that might mean something. I only hate when she digs through my backpack (I hate everyone who does this, just she does it everyday..) but everything else she does doesn't bother me. She has helped me on homework recently, and for that I'm grateful. I appreciate her company at times, there's usually nothing she can say that offends me so I respect her for that. (Written 11.17.02)About the second week into school, I met a guy during lunch. The first time we talked I was sarcastically rude, and remember, if you don't know someone it's not wise to be sarcastic. But despite my semi-rude remark, he started to talk to me in days to come. I soon found out he was a friend of someone I knew, which he later would be introduced to me. I'd estimate about a month we talked on and off, and we never knew each other's name. That's something I still find to be so comical. Well I think I've been dodgy enough -- his name is Jon. A few weeks ago he called me after school, and I'm so glad I walked home that day (a thirty minute walk) because I normally would've been extremely nervous to carry on more than a sentence, but I was pretty exhausted. By the way, I had taken a fancy to him for a while before he called me, which is why I probably would've been too nervous to talk to him. But I was exhausted, like I said, and I knew that if I didn't call him then I probably would never get the courage to. I wouldn't have even believed my sister when she said he called me, had I not looked at the caller ID. So.. we've been talking on the phone often now, and I'm so unusually comfortable talking to him on the phone I'm still marvelled. But it's a different story when it comes to face to face talking with him. I admitted to him earlier that he's one of the hottest guys in school. That was a half-lie though. He's the only 'hot' guy in school by my terms. I mean, he's really attractive. What's even better is that he's got a great sense of humour. I have problems with keeping eye contact as it is, and him being so flawless in my eyes doesn't make it easier. You'd think it'd be easier to gaze into the eyes of an incredibly gorgeous opposite gender being, but it's not for me. So for a long time I stared at his shoes when we talked. One time on the phone he asked if I even knew what kind of shoes he wears. Of course I did! For one thing, they were skateboard shoes! Vans shoes! I think he was surprised I knew the brand. But then again, he already knew I liked skateboarding (the sport -- I'm not much of a skater heh). So.. he's really one of the greatest things on earth. And please don't think I'm such a material girl who looks for 'looks' in guys. I mean, well, I used to like guys who looked fine (who didn't?) heh, but since middle school years I've realized that looks aren't as important as say, personality. Perhaps I may have been persuaded to think so clear when I realized that I, myself, wasn't in the "top ten hottest girls in school" category. And when you think about it, eighty years down the road (provided you're still alive) looks won't be so great and you'll have to rely on your charisma as an attractive factor. So personality is definately more important. Which takes me off the elderly gravity-attacked people, and back to the topic: Jon. (Ohhh my sister just put her guinea pig on my shoulder) Heh, well Jon has a great personality. He's like me in several ways, yet he's completely opposite from me in so many other ways. We seem to get along fine, if not perfectly. He's never insulted me, and I don't think I ever offended him. We're both tolerable to many insults or comments it seems, which is always good in my opinion. When I talk to him I feel much better, regardless of how horrible or stressful my day may have been. The majority of the time I've talked to him, he's really happy, and it shows in his voice. It's like the saying, "When you pick up the phone with a smile on your face, people will hear it through your voice." I definately agree. Jon has made me smile a lot, and he's even made me laugh.. quite loudly. I love laughing, but not in front of others. I think I have a goofy laugh.. I'll be laughing and then my laugh is so hilarious I'll continue to laugh until tears run down my face from laughing so hard. It's really funny, but when I step aside and wonder why I'm laughing.. I guess it's funny in a not-so-funny way. Hehe. Jon says there's nothing wrong with the way I laugh. He says there's nothing wrong with the way I look either. That coming from him means a lot. Its effect on me is ineffable. And when I say something negative about myself I don't expect a compliment in return to boost my self-esteem, or perhaps to convince myself that I'm not half as bad I as I say I am. But he compliments me. He sympathizes with me. He ..cares for me. I feel deeply indebted to him, and if it takes my whole life to repay the kindness he's shown to me in a matter of days, then so be it. He's given me something that I lost a long time ago: my happiness. I can never return the favor on such a great scale. Him being happy makes me happier as well. (Funny story actually .. this friday he was grounded [that's not the funny part] and last night my sister wanted to take me to the movies. I told her I couldn't go. My reason? I sang to myself, "If Jon's not having fun, Christina's not having fun." He's not to blame. Anyway, I started one of the best paintings in my whole entire life. Good things are created in unusual situations.) So he's still grounded, and I haven't talked to him since two days ago. Seems much longer now that I think of it. I already miss him *-.- But I'll see him tomorrow in school. ...Woa this turned out more like a diary entry than a description of a 'nice person'. *^.^ Adrian.. hehe ok, you caught me, I don't know him in real life. Truth is I only wrote him two emails and he wrote me one ^.^ but it's a friendship in the making! Hopefully we'll be penpals. I contacted him from Penpals.com just yesterday, so I'm really looking forward to hearing more from him. He lives in Australia ^.^ Ok, honestly, this is all the 'nice people' I talk to *^.^ Maybe in a few years I'll have another name listed here heh. If you want to see something else here, feel free to ask ^.^ |