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Hug: Fear

We fear for ourselves, but primarily we fear ourselves even more.

There are a number of reasons for the fear of hugging. However the most primary reason is the problem of confusion that starts unfortunately, at a very early age.

A child is treated with a lot of care, kindness and love is showered on it in plentiful. This builds up an environment that is tremendously enforced with repeated hugs, kisses, cuddling and a lot more.

The next stage is when the child encounters loneliness, cold and unfamiliar environment, when the child goes for the first time to a school, a crèche, or perhaps experiences the neglect due to the priorities of the elders. Till this time also, the child is growing and so also it's needs. Such needs can be catered to, however to what extent? This newly perceived and encountered limit tends to make the child more protective of itself and the process of building a boundary around itself starts taking the firm roots.

Thus from this stage the kissing, cuddling and hugs start to diminish so slowly that it's many a times not noticeable. This is the main fear that majority have in their subconscious minds, irrespective of which part of the world they belong to, of the cold, loneliness, and unfamiliar situation, that prevent a person from following the simple formality of a hug as a form of greeting.

Before going any further the first part to understand is that an infant that comes into this world definitely needs the support from the elders. However it is born with certain other special aspects also, which could also be termed as "built in the genes", instinct or the sixth sense. Such as intuition, extra sensory perception and such other special qualities.

This part is experienced my many and there seems to be no reasoning to it. The infant is fast asleep. Now stand a bit far from the infant such that it can neither see you nor feel any presence of you. Next is to have a thought. Many a times the child would react in its sleep and the reaction would depend on the nature of your thought. This factor seems to help them to build the boundaries around themselves.

It seems that whatever the child experiences, even in the very early childhood, gets recorded some where in the brain. This part is not realized then, however many seem to recall these events quite vividly as grandparents or in the old age. This factor seems to be there in the subconscious mind that deters one from even a plain greeting-hug.

The basic emotional foundation starts building up from the foetal stage, through the infant stage and till the early childhood period, when there is ample cuddling and the feel of warmth, rhythm, and sounds especially of the heart. In the later stages of life we have several other problems and challenges. This gives rise to several emotional blocks, that are piled upon the basic emotional foundation. Thus many such problems can be taken care of by simply shaking the basic emotional foundation by a hug. The result is the enforcing of the basic emotional foundation and shaking off the comparatively small and insignificant blocks that hinder our progress.

How much ever one agrees with the above, the problem is that by the time one realizes this, considerable time has elapsed. This situation is similar to the building of thicker wall around the castle over a period of time since the group within felt insecure. But later comes a time when the walls are no longer needed. But then time and effort is required to remove the wall, or even a part of it.