Shi’Iana : (nudging Jha’Meia) He’s down.

Jha’Meia : (looking over shoulder and whistles) Not bad, man! The man has fashion sense!

D’Brah : Dammit, I wish I’d been at the last ramble…

Shi’Iana : Yeah. Who asked you to go chasing after Marron?

Laguna : Nice get-up, Sephiroth.

Sephiroth : Thank you. Is Aeris down yet?

Vincent : … … … Very formal look tonight, Sephiroth.

(Katherina walks in)
Katherina : Wow wee! Looking good, are we?

Sephiroth : I know I am.

Katherina : What’s tonight’s game plan?

Sephiroth : Dinner.

Shi’Iana : That’s it?

Jha’Meia : Darn. I could’ve got you some Philharmonic tickets.

Sephiroth : No favours please.

Aeris : (comes into living room) I’m ready!

(everyone else holds breath)

Sephiroth : Aeris… you look… very… very nice tonight…

(audible groan from the girls)

Shi’Iana : Is that all he can say?

Vincent : Being raised by the Shin-ra definitely cramped his style…

D’Brah : Perhaps he didn’t even have much of a style to begin with…

Aeris : Well, we’ll be back later. See you.

(Aeris and Sephiroth walk out… trailing about six feet behind them Jha’Meia, D’Brah and Shi’Iana)

Jha’Meia : Kat? Not coming along?

Katherina : I’ll pass. I have a job to do, anyway.

Jha’Meia : Oh well… you’ve lost. Vincent, Laguna! Come along!

Vincent : Where to?

Jha’Meia : Where else?? We’re going to… err… watch a show!

Laguna : ( suspiciously ) What kinda show?

Jha’Meia : Our favourite kinda show. A sappy romantic silent movie.

Laguna : I have a bad feeling about this…

Vincent : Nevertheless, we still have to go along to make sure they’re all right…

(AT THE RESTAURANT COMPOUND)
(Shi’Iana and D’Brah are perched on Laguna’s and Vincent’s shoulders while Jha’Meia has found a nice tree-branch to dangle on. D’Brah has a Polaroid camera, Shi’Iana has a very high-tech camera and Jha’Meia has a video camera.)

D’Brah : Can you see them? Can you?

Shi’Iana : There they are!

Jha’Meia : OoooOoooh, by the cozy fireplace…

D’Brah : Candlelight…

Vincent : ( turning to Laguna ) Can you see anything?

Laguna : When the window sill is just at my eye level?

D’Brah : Hang on. (takes photo, which comes out instantly) Here. (hands photo to Vincent)

Vincent : (sighs)

D’Brah : Don’t sigh, Vincent. There’s nothing to sigh about. This is one of the best nights in the whole world for two people.

Laguna : I suppose I could let them have it… but at the expense of a broken back? That’s asking a bit too much, in my opinion.

Shi’Iana : Don’t complain, Laguna.

Jha’Meia : They’re ordering.

D’Brah : Can you see what’s on the menu?

Jha’Meia : Shi’Iana, your camera can focus much closer than any of ours can. Can you see what they’re ordering?

Shi’Iana : (adjusts camera) Hmmm… Aeris got her page turned to Salads and the Appetizers… Sephiroth… I think he’s saying “Sauteed”, though I can’t say for sure…

D’Brah : Check it out, they’re chatting to each other…

Jha’Meia : Discussing what they’re going to have, no doubt.

Shi’Iana : How much has he got on him?

Jha’Meia : Lots.

Vincent : How is that so?

Jha’Meia : I’m the writer. And I saw him steal my credit card.

Laguna : You guys are even weirder than I thought.

Jha’Meia : Ah well, I let him borrow it anyway. Left it lying around for that purpose.

Vincent : Does he know of this bargain?

Jha’Meia : Naturally not. But he will when he sees the Polaroid pictures on the fridge door.

Vincent : (turns head) Jha’Meia!

D’Brah : Vincent! Don’t move!

Vincent : All right. (mumbles) I wonder what Lucrecia would think…

Shi’Iana : She’d be happy for her son?

Laguna : Who’s Lucrecia?

Shi’Iana : Sephiroth’s mother.

Laguna : I thought her name was Jenova?

Shi’Iana : That’s what he thinks. Jenova is actually an alien. She didn’t really give birth to Sephiroth. His father simply injected her cells into him when he was still in Lucrecia’s womb.

Laguna : So he thinks Jenova is his mother?

Shi’Iana : Yeap.

Laguna : Hasn’t anyone set him straight on that score?

Shi’Iana : Nope.

Laguna : Does anyone plan to?

Vincent : I do.

D’Brah : You do?

Vincent : As soon as I find the right moment, yes.

Jha’Meia : Guys! Look!! They’re sharing a soup course!!!

Shi’Iana : Where??

D’Brah : Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod. (snaps several more Polaroid pictures)

Shi’Iana : This is fun.

Laguna : For you girls, of course. I’m getting an ache in my shoulders… If only someone would come take my place for a short while…

Jha’Meia : Irvine?

Laguna : Irvine’s a fine lad, all right.

Shi’Iana : Ssssssshhhhh!!! Look, Jha!

Jha’Meia : What? What?

Laguna : (sighs)

(The three girls are still snapping photos and recording. The two hapless men are beginning to grumble… beneath their breaths, of course. Dignified men never grumble out loud.)

Laguna : I wonder… what would happen if I were to accidentally drop Shi’Iana?

Vincent : I suppose ( lips twitching ) it couldn’t hurt to try…

Shi’Iana : Don’t you dare…

Laguna : (tilting body just a leedle bit) Ooops….

Shi’Iana : Aaaccck!! (falls to ground) La-gu-na!!

Laguna : ( very unapologetically ) Sorry.

Jha’Meia : Well, Shi’Iana, if you don’t get back on his back, you’re going to miss this!!

Shi’Iana : What?? What??

Laguna : Where’s Irvine?

Irvine : (popping out of nowhere) Here!

Laguna : That’s a good lad! Shi’Iana, here’s your next trip.

Shi’Iana : (Makes frustrated sound)

Irvine : What is it?

Vincent : Carry Shi’Iana onto your back.

Irvine : Who are you?

Vincent : Vincent Valentine from FF VII.

Irvine : That’s cool. I’m Irvine Kinneas. Pleased to meet you. Now, what’s the problem?

Shi’Iana : I want to watch, and I want to get back to watching now!!

Laguna : I’m off. (Walks away)

Irvine : Oh… that… all right. (gets down to let Shi’Iana climb on him)

Shi’Iana : I don’t wanna sit on Irvine’s shoulders! He’s a pervert!!

Jha’Meia : Irvine’s shoulders or no show, Shi’Iana.

D’Brah : Yeah. And he won’t complain so much about bad backs, either.

Shi’Iana : Vincent complains.

D’Brah : But Vincent is still twenty-seven… physically. Laguna’s what… forty-something?

Jha’Meia : Look!!

Shi’Iana : (clambering onto Irvine’s shoulders) What???

Jha’Meia : It can’t be!!

D’Brah : He’s giving her a present!!

Shi’Iana : Holy cow!!! (manoeuvring herself on Irvine’s shoulders)

Jha’Meia : No shit….

Irvine : Whoaa!! (nearly loses balance)

Shi’Iana : (very threatening hiss) If you drop me like Laguna did, you’ll be sorry!!

Irvine : I wouldn’t dream of it…

Jha’Meia : Yeah, he’d just do it.

D’Brah and Vincent : (muffling chuckles)

Shi’Iana : (looking annoyed) Back to the point at hand?

Vincent : What… we’re having an argument? Nonsense. We’re… (sighs)

D’Brah : Will you just look at them??

Jha’Meia : Gods, what’s she doing to that poor man?

Shi’Iana : Poor man???

Jha’Meia : Don’t you feel sorry for him? She’s making him sooo uncomfortable…

D’Brah, Jha’Meia and Shi’Iana : Mwa hah ha!

To be continued…