Sephiroth : What’s up with them?

Cloud : Dunno.

Zack : You live here. Don’t you usually know what goes on?

Sephiroth : I usually don’t want to know.

Cloud : Gees, that’s pathetic. Are you afraid of a few measly girls??

Sephiroth : They’re a force to be reckoned with.

Cloud : Chicken.

Sephiroth : Would you like to pit yourself against them?

Zack : Can’t be all that bad. Spent the other night with those two girls and they weren’t so bad.

Sephiroth : Zack, you got them both drunk. You were all swilling yourselves into insensibility, as I recall.

Zack : That’s beside the point. We had a fine time singing, as I recall.

Sephiroth : Shi’Iana was ready to take your head off once she was sober.

Cloud : ( chuckling ) It would have fallen off by itself anyway, judging how he looked like the next morning.

Zack : Well, I’m going into the computer room to see what’s going on.

Sephiroth : Good. Commit suicide. Shi’Iana doesn’t like you anyway.

Zack : ( opens computer door and Mell’Esia and Jha’Meia fall out, laughing and gasping for air, red-faced with laughter )

Mell’Esia : Thanks! ( gasp )  Hee hee hee!! Hahahahahah! Oh, my gods!!

Jha’Meia : You can sat that again! HAHAHAHAHAH!!

Shi’Iana : Wooohoohoo! Look at THAT!!

Sephiroth : Horrible laughing. Bad news. I think we’d better evacuate.

Cloud : I don’t believe prudence had ever been your best point.

Sephiroth : Well, now it is.

Zack : ( bending over Jha’Meia ) What’s up?

Jha’Meia : ( looks at Zack, then starts laughing all over again )

Zack : ?

Sephiroth : Jha’Meia? Are you okay?

Jha’Meia : ( looks at Sephiroth then breaks into fresh peals of laughter )

Cloud : This is getting irritating.

D’Brah : LOOK!!!

Jac’Kee : Don’t they look so nice in those flower suits!!

D’Brah and Jac’Kee : AHHAAHAHAHAH!!!

Shi’Iana : I can’t BELIEVE  IT!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!

Jha’Meia : WOOHOOOHOOO!!!

Sephiroth : I think we’d better get them to the doctor?

Hojo : Did someone call for a doctor? I’m a certified genius in science!

Zack : ( eyes widen as he pokes head into room )

Cloud : Well?

Zack : What the hell…

Sephiroth : You’re impossible. ( goes into room ) OH MY GODS!

Cloud : Huh?

Zack : ( jaw hanging ) Gee, Cloud. Didn’t know how much you liked dressing up in drag.

Jha’Meia and Mell’Esia : HEE HEE HEE HEE HHEEE HEEE HEE HEEE HEEE HEEE!!!

Cloud : Guys, they’re starting to freak me out!

Zack : Those pictures are starting to freak ME out! Cloud!! How could you betray Tifa that way??

Cloud : Huh?

Sephiroth : I swear, Jha’Meia. You really are off your rocker now.

Jha’Meia : Don’t - ( gasp ) think ( gasp ) I had ( gasp ) a rocker ( gasp ) In the first place!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Shi’Iana : Aw, Zack, you look ever so adorable in that frilly dress!!

Cloud : WHAT?!? ( rushes into room ) OH S#!T!!!

Mell’Esia : More like fragrance. Jasmine and rose, I’d say.

D’Brah : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Jha’Meia : I love writing.

Sephiroth : ( takes out masamune ) You’re not going to like it very much. Delete those files, writer.

Jha’Meia : Yeah? Who’s on your side?

Zack : ( takes out Buster Sword )

Cloud : ( takes out Ultima Weapon )

Mell’Esia : ( takes out whip )

Jac’Kee : ( whips out knife )

Shi’Iana : ( takes out wand )

D’Brah : ( puts o fighting gloves )

Sephiroth : What the….

Jha’Meia : You really ought to read my original fics. Now get out of here and let us admire your frilly costumes a while more.

Zack : No way!!

Shi’Iana : ( points wand at Zack ) Bad enough I don’t like you and you’re pushing your luck?

Zack : What can you do with a little stick?

Shi’Iana : ( turns Zack into hedgehog )

Cloud : Ooohhh… nice trick. Now I can have Aeris, right?

Sephiroth : Over my dead body.

Cloud : ( turns on Sephiroth with Ultima Weapon ) Yeah?? I killed you once, remember?? I can do it again!!

Sephiroth : Try it again! I happen to be the best-looking character in the game.

Cloud : I’m the hero!

Sephiroth : So? ( thinks a moment ) Shi’Iana, do you think-?

Shi’Iana : Fine. ( turns Cloud into porcupine )

Sephiroth : Thanks. I think I’ll look for Aeris now. Where is she?

( The girls look at each other )

D’Brah : Well…

Mell’Esia : We haven’t seen her around.

Jac’Kee : I think she’s in the garden.

Sephiroth : Right. ( Goes out )

Jha’Meia : Good. Shi’Iana?

Shi’Iana : Yes?

Jha’Meia : ( looks pointedly at the porcupine and hedgehog )

Shi’Iana : What?

Jha’Meia : Well?

Shi’Iana : Well what?

Jha’Meia : Aren’t you going to transform them back?

Shi’Iana : Whatever for?

Mell’Esia : Well… at least we can get back to looking through the pictures now.

D’Brah : How’d they go so easily? This ramble wasn’t half as satisfying as usual.

Jac’Kee : ( holds up manipulate materia ) Aeris was getting kinda lonesome.

( Everyone nods together sagely and howls of laughter emanate from the room again )

THE END