Jha’Meia : My, my, look! Okay, everybody, pack up!!
Sephiroth : Where’re we going to?
Jha’Meia : I decided that we’ll give Shi’Iana a break… we’re going to Costa Del Sol-
( Wheeeummm! )
Jha’Meia : •_•
( Foosh!! )
( Everyone is standing at the door, bags ready )
Jha’Meia : •_•
Laguna #1 : Well?
Sephiroth : I’ll get the Land Rover
D’Brah : Since when did we get a Land Rover?
Sephiroth : Dunno.
LATER…
Vincent : Look! There’s Cloud Strife and other members of Avalanche!
Shi’Iana : Hey, cool! Anyone see Aeris anywhere?
Lucrecia : Remember the time we came here to Costa Del Sol, Vincent? It was soooo romantic…
Jha’Meia : ( cringes before a scene can occur ) Yes, yes, yes, you can go already!!
Lucrecia and Vincent : ( disappear... and pretty quickly too )
Cloud : Hey look! It’s… the villain of the game.
Sephiroth : ( grinned madly ) Not happy to see me, Strife?
Cloud : Hell, no.
Shi’Iana : WHY did you include him HERE??
Jha’Meia : WELL… Lookie! There’s Hojo! Right on time, too!
Sephiroth : Right on time? Sorry?
Hojo : HEL-LO, my dear ramble writer! You would NEVER believe what great profit I’ve been making!!
Shi’Iana : With what?
Hojo : Why, my new restaurant, of course!
D’Brah : You have a new restaurant? Cool! Errrm… selling what?
Jha’Meia : Test-tube stuff.
Shi’Iana & D’Brah : YUCK!
Jac’Kee and Mell’Esia : ( wink knowingly at Jha’Meia )
Hojo : ( pats Jha’Meia’s hand affectionately ) Come along, m’dear. I’ve got so much to show you!!
Laguna #2 : Will you look at that?
Irvine : It’s QUISTIS!
Jac’Kee : Womanizer.
Irvine : Am not.
Jac’Kee : Are too.
Irvine : Am NOT!
Jac’Kee : Prove it.
Irvine : Oka- ( turns and sees: ) SELPHIE!!
Mell’Esia : What a revelation.
Tifa : ( heard from a good distance away ) STAY AWAY FROM ME, CLOUD!! ( whirls away huffily )
Cloud : Damn. Shouldn’t have said that.
Zack : You always did have this problem with girls, Cloud.
Everyone : ZACK??
Shi’Iana : What’re YOU doing here?
Zack : Looking for an available girl. ( Looks crestfallen ) Aeris doesn’t like me so much anymore.
Cloud : Nor me, either.
Sephiroth : ( smirks )
Zack : Hey, any of you girls available?
D’Brah : I know I’m not. ( looks around ) Hey, where’s Laguna?
Shi’Iana : And Laguna?
Jac’Kee : ( gesticulates vaguely ) Somewhere.
Mell’Esia : Said something about Raine and Julia.
Shi’Iana : BUT-
Zack : That means you’re available! Wanna go on a double date with us?
D’Brah : YOU AND CLOUD???
Cloud : What’s wrong?
Irvine : It’s not nice to just reject a guy like that, you know…
Sephiroth : I mean… guys have feelings too…
Cloud : Look who’s talking.
Sephiroth : ( smirks again )
Cloud : What’re YOU doing here, anyway?
Sephiroth : ( grins broadly as Mell’Esia takes his arm ) What say we go look for that friend of yours, Irvine?
Irvine : Good idea! C’mon, Jac!
Jac’Kee : Sure!
Shi’Iana : But…
D’Brah : But…
Cloud : But what?
Shi’Iana & D’Brah : YOU CAN’T LEAVE US THIS WAY!!
Mell’Esia : (turning back ) Sure we can! We just did!
Jac’Kee : We’re going to have the best time!
Irvine : You bet, honey-love-of-my-heart!
Shi’Iana & D’Brah : ………
Zack : So… want a drink?
Shi’Iana : Make that several.
SEVERAL DRINKS LATER… ……..
( At a bar )
Cloud and Zack : Hilly-hi!
Shi’Iana and D’Brah : Hilly-ho!!
Zack : This brandy’s really good.
Shi’Iana : I’ll say.
AT THE BEACH
Sephiroth : Hmm… we passed by Tifa and Rude… Reno and Selphie… but still no Zell and Aeris. Wonder what happened to the two of them?
( Everyone stops )
Irvine : Am I seeing things? Is that a naked girl on the beach? The guy looks familiar...
Mell’Esia : That’s Zell!!
Jac’Kee : A naked Zell.
Mell’Esia : I like his physique!
Jac’Kee : Yeah, which part?
Irvine : Uh, guys, that’s not Aeris on the beach naked.
Sephiroth : Who cares. She still looks good.
Irvine : It’s… it’s…. ( starts trembling ) QUISTIS! ( sobs ) How come the chicken-wuss gets her??
( Marron and Mirufiru come strolling by )
Marron : Hey! What’re you doing?
Jac’Kee : What’re you doing with HIM?
Marron : None of your business.
Mirufiru : Care to join us?
Mell’Esia : ( looks at Sephiroth and Irvine absorbed in watching Zell and Quistis make out on the beach ) Sure.
Jac’Kee : Let’s go for a drink! I’m thirsty!
( The four of them leave. Irvine and Sephiroth finally snap out of it )
Irvine : Where’d the girls go?
Sephiroth : Dammit. Now what do we do?? Well well…
Irvine : What is it?
Sephiroth : C’mon! ( runs to an open-air restaurant )
Irvine : Who’s that in leather?
Sephiroth : ( calls out musically ) Oh, Cho-co-late!
Chocolate Misu : Why… if it isn’t Sephiroth! What’re you doing here?
Sephiroth : Could ask you the same.
Chocolate : I’m hunting.
Irvine : What? Sorcerors in Costa Del Sol?
Chocolate : No.
Sephiroth : ( turning to Irvine ) Okay. There’s only one girl, and there’s two of us…
Chocolate : ( turns to Irvine ) I’ll take you.
Sephiroth WHA-AT?
Chocolate : Sephiroth, darling, I’ve already done you.
Sephiroth : BUT-
Irvine : Bye! ( puts arm about Chocolate’s waist and goes off )
Sephiroth : ( sits by himself glumly at the table recently vacated ) Bummer.
Someone : Seph?
Sephiroth : ( turns ) O-O ( falls backwards off his chair )
Aeris : What’s wrong?
Sephiroth : …….
Aeris : By the way, what do you think of my new outfit? ( gestures to bikini made entirely of… PINK flowers ) I made it myself.
Sephiroth : ………. Uh……… Um…….
Aeris : ( gives him wide-eyed look ) Don’t say you don’t like it.
Sephiroth : I think… ( summons every bit of self-control ) I think it’s… ( tries very best to control jaw ) REALLY….
Aeris : Really…?
Sephiroth : Great! ( grins idiotically ) Very very nice!
Aeris : ( beams and smiles brilliantly )
Sephiroth : ( looks at name of the restaurant. It’s called “Paradise” ) WOW.
AT THE NEW ‘FRECKLES A LÀ MAD SCIENTIST RESTAURANTE’
Hojo : And then you can see by THESE statistics….
Jha’Meia : ( sighs to self and wipes sleepiness from eyes ) I can see why Lucrecia prefers Vincent…
END