( Jha’Meia, Jac’Kee, Mell’Esia and Sephiroth are sitting around the counter of the kitchen and staring at the bloody piece of meat )
Sephiroth : Gee, guys, I’m awfully sorry. I didn’t realize you weren’t serious about actually killing the dog.
Jac’Kee : We’re lucky this is a ramble. Shi’Iana could sue us.
Mell’Esia : Yeah. Even in death, Freckles still stinks.
Jha’Meia : Shall we wash the meat first?
Jac’Kee : What for?
Jha’Meia : Heck, you were the one who said that dog meat’s all the rage.
Jac’Kee : Yeah, so?
Sephiroth : I suppose you could always cut the dog up into little slices and go on pilgrimage to atone for this.
Mell’Esia : You mean, YOU could do that. You were the one who skinned the dog!
Sephiroth : Um… well…
Jha’Meia : How could you NOT realize we were joking?
Sephiroth : You hate the dog enough, I hate the dog enough, Jac’Kee hates the dog enough, Mell’Esia hates the dog enough, and well… it’s been such a long time since I killed anybody, when you asked me to get the dog here, I thought I might as well save time and skin the dog too. Feels warm though. ( takes off fur from around his neck )
Jha’Meia : Oh, gods, you didn’t even wash that thing.
Sephiroth : I’ll take it to a professional tanner, then.
Mell’Esia : So… guys? What’re we going to do with this thing?
Jha’Meia : Hmmm… well, we could always fulfil our dreams and cook it.
Jac’Kee : Oh god.
Mell’Esia : Hah hah hah! That’s funny!
Jha’Meia : It wasn’t meant to be.
Jac’Kee : What about Shi’Iana?
Jha’Meia : Well… we could always keep mum about this and never say another word about the dog… and maybe she’d forget the fact that she ever had a dog.
Mell’Esia : Sorry, but that’s too down pat for it. Shi’Iana’s sure to notice the dog’s gone.
Jac’Kee : So, what’re we going to do? Resurrect the dog?
Jha’Meia : Can you imagine that for once I don’t have the frigging dog yapping at me even though I’m close enough to pat it? ( pats dead dog ) Look! It didn’t try to bite.
Jac’Kee : Oh, god.
Jha’Meia : Hey, people, look, we have this here big slab of meat which we didn’t have to pay anything for. It’s good meat, or at least it looks like good meat, and face it, we all like steak.
Mell’Esia : Freckles Maryland… MMmmmm
Jac’Kee : Black Pepper Freckles Steak… Wow….
Sephiroth : Okay, so that’s done? ( takes out masamune ) Would you like me to slice the dog up for you?
Mell’Esia : Oh, ew ew ew ew ew!! It’s dripping blood all over the floor!
Jac’Kee : I’m going to be sick.
Jha’Meia : Seph, clean that up.
Sephiroth : ME?!?
Jha’Meia : Look, YOU killed the frigging dog, and YOU skinned the frigging dog, so you get to clean up after the frigging dog.
Sephiroth : ( folds arms across chest ) I think you should take some blame in this too.
Jac’Kee : I think… I think I need to go to the bathroom.
Jha’Meia : Don’t retch too much.
Mell’Esia : Sephiroth, WE’LL do the cooking, okay? YOU cut up the meat.
Jha’Meia : I’ll help. You know how to chop people up, not cut meat professionably.
Sephiroth : Shall I go out and find a chocobo?
Mell’Esia : What for?
Sephiroth : Side dish.
Mell’Esia : Has potential! Freckles Maryland with a serving of Chocobo wings.
Jha’Meia : Shi’Iana is going to kill us.
Sephiroth : Give me double servings and I’ll protect you.
Jha’Meia : Hmmm…
Jac’Kee : It’s a done deal.
Mell’Esia : Woohoo! What’re we waiting for? Let’s get to work!
Jha’Meia : Wok, please! Seph, get going for the chocobo already!
( Loud banging throughout the entire kitchen as everyone gets to
work. )
Mell’Esia : Where’s the chocobo sambal?
Jha’Meia : ( waves hand towards some direction ) Somewhere there.
Jac’Kee : Okay! We got the chocobo all chopped up and ready to fry!
Mell’Esia : Let’s fry the chocobo cutlets first. They cool down slower, and anyway, it’ll be better to eat Freckles fresh.
Jha’Meia : Hell’s bells, Jac’Kee! That’s an awfully nice shape you’ve cut the meat into!
Jac’Kee : I wanted to test my creativity.
Sephiroth : We’ve got to save some for tomorrow’s breakfast, remember?
Mell’Esia : Just like you to spoil the fun.
Sephiroth : Now, now, now…
Jac’Kee : What’s that man doing in the woman’s domain! Get him outta here!
Jha’Meia & Mell’Esia : ( trying to suppress chuckles )
Sephiroth : I’m going, I’m going… sheesh.
( Lots more loud banging from the kitchen )
Jha’Meia : Dinner!!
( All four of them attack their Freckles Maryland and Black Pepper Freckles Steak eagerly )
Jha’Meia : ( mouth full and speculatively ) Y’know, I just realized we shouda made a curry instead…
TO BE CONTINUED….