Sephiroth : You look happy.
Jha’Meia : Heck, I am.
Sephiroth : And what, may I know, would be the reason?
Jha’Meia : ( rubs hands together evilly )
Sephiroth : That doesn’t look like a good sign.
Jha’Meia : It isn’t.
Sephiroth : Where are your two compatriots?
Jha’Meia : On a double date with the two Lagunas.
Sephiroth : So you’re alone?
Jha’Meia : I’m waiting for some guests.
Sephiroth : What’s for dinner?
Jha’Meia : ( grins evilly )
Sephiroth : Evil looks all the way. Definitely not good.
Jha’Meia : You’re such a genius.
Sephiroth : So what’s really going to happen?
( DING DONG!! )
Jha’Meia : Be a dear and get that, please.
Sephiroth : Okay. ( goes to answer door )
Jac’Kee : Hi! Is Jha’Meia in?
Mell’Esia : We promised to help her roast the dog.
Sephiroth : Ah, which dog would that be?
Jac’Kee : Freckles? Shi’Iana’s irritating dog? Have you got it now?
Sephiroth : Oh, so THAT’s why she’s been acting worse than Hojo all day!
Mell’Esia : Well, where is she??
Sephiroth : The dog?
Mell’Esia : No, stupid, Jha’Meia!
Sephiroth : Hey, writer! Your friends are here!
Jha’Meia : Bring ‘em into the kitchen!! I’ve got some keen recipes here!!
Sephiroth : Shi’Iana won’t like this.
Jha’Meia : Since when were you so concerned about her opinion?
Sephiroth : Never.
Jha’Meia : Good. Then shut up and get the dog here.
Sephiroth : But-
Jha’Meia : This is MY ramble, Sephiroth. You’re not allowed to argue.
Sephiroth : But-
Jha’Meia : GIT GOIN!!!!
Sephiroth : ( mutters to himself and goes out )
Jac’Kee : Now, can we begin? I was thinking of burning the dog over a nice hot barbecue…
Mell’Esia : That’s no class! We need some marination! I suggest the chocobo sauces with some curry powder, then we grill Freckles slowly in the oven.
Jha’Meia : Hey! I wanted to fry that dog!
Mell’Esia : With what, pray tell?
Jha’Meia : Well, there’s this here big wok, which we can top up with oil-
Jac’Kee : But it’s so much more fun eating the dog whole!
Jha’Meia : Yeah sure, like Vikings.
Mell’Esia : Hey! Grilling it makes the cooking worse for the dog! Don’t you hate Freckles??
Jha’Meia : I hate Freckles, but I hate having to cut up a frigging FAT dog like that, too. I’d rather chop it up first, then throw the pieces in and stir fry…
Jac’Kee : MMmmmm… BUT.
Jha’Meia : But?
Jac’Kee : If we have a barbecue, we can invite people over to enjoy the dog! Don’t you know dog meat is all the rage now…
Mell’Esia : I thought it was chocobo wings.
Jha’Meia : Man, you guys have no subtlety. We’ll just make a few steaks out of that dog’s ass and serve it bloody.
Mell’Esia : And chew and chew and chew. Great idea. Grandé. Anymore stupid ideas like that?
Jac’Kee : Got merit though. Black pepper Freckles steak. I like that sound of it!
Mell’Esia : Grilled Freckles steak!
Jac’Kee : Black pepper Freckles!
Mell’Esia : Grilled Freckles!
Jha’Meia : Or we could use that chocobo sambal I’ve been saving.
Jac’Kee : That’s a new one on me.
Jha’Meia : It’s a new one on me too.
Mell’Esia : How about Freckles Maryland?
Jha’Meia : That’s frying. I thought you didn’t want me to fry that dog.
Mell’Esia : Well, it sounds good, doesn’t it?
Jha’Meia : Sure it does. Chocobo Maryland’s always been my favourite.
Jac’Kee and Mell’Esia : ( glare at Jha’Meia )
Jha’Meia : What?
Mell’Esia : That wasn’t funny.
Jha’Meia : Wasn’t meant to be.
( Sephiroth comes back in, whistling with Freckles slung over one shoulder. The dog’s legs are tied up. On the other shoulder, however… )
Jha’Meia : What the-
Sephiroth : I took the liberty of skinning the dog for you.
The three girls : … …. …
Sephiroth : What? It’s fun killing people! Even if it’s just some stupid dog.
Jha’Meia : Oh dear…
Sephiroth : What?
Jac’Kee : We weren’t serious about killing the dog.
Sephiroth : ……
Shi'Iana tried throttling me for this one, she really did! Anyway, heh heh, next ramble will see the dog really being cooked! Back