Jha’Meia : This is boring. Why can’t we do something else?
D’Brah : What do you want to do?
Shi’Iana : Sleep with Irvine?
Irvine : Cool!
Jha’Meia : How would you like to sleep with Irvine?
Irvine : I wouldn’t mind.
D’Brah : A little crazy, isn’t it? Irvine’s a pervert.
Irvine : No, I’m not!
Shi’Iana : Yeah, and he flirts with every girl he meets.
Irvine : What’s wrong with that?
Jha’Meia : Charming, isn’t it?
Irvine : Yeah!
Shi’Iana : He’s downright mad.
Irvine : Why do you say that?
Laguna #1 : Poor Irvine.
Irvine : Yeah. Sniff sniff.
Laguna #2 : Maybe Aeris would sleep with you.
Irvine : Hmmm… yeah.
The girls : WHAAAAAT???
Jha’Meia : Are you crazy??? Aeris would never sleep with you!
Shi’Iana : Besides, she’s dead!
D’Brah : ALSO, she’s with Sephiroth now.
Irvine : I’m sure she can make her own choices. I mean, Aeris is a nice person, and she’s cute.
Jha’Meia : Uh -huh… someone’s thinking of a certain something under a pink dress…
Laguna #2 : What could go wrong with Irvine going with Aeris?
Shi’Iana : Sephiroth would kill him.
D’Brah : Zack would gut him.
Jha’Meia : At least Tseng’s got the distraction of Elena.
Laguna : #1 : Who’s Zack?
Jha’Meia : Aeris’ ex.
Laguna #1 : I take it he’s dead, too?
Jha’Meia : Right on the nose, old boy.
Laguna #2 : If he’s dead too, how come you haven’t thought of bringing him back?
Jha’Meia : What for?
Laguna : #1 : He’s Aeris’ boyfriend. Shouldn’t they be together?
Jha’Meia : It’s a thought…
Irvine : Hey wait! If you bring back Aeris’ boyfriend, then she won’t be available!
Shi’Iana : She already isn’t, Irvine. She’s Sephiroth’s girlfriend!
D’Brah : If he heard this, he’d kill you. Whomp! There goes Irvine’s head!
Irvine : That’s if he ever gets to know.
Laguna #2 : You were planning to ask Aeris out behind his back? Pray tell, how you’re going to distract him?
Irvine : Doesn’t anyone else like him?
Everyone : … … …
Irvine : I mean…
D’Brah : Jha’Meia once cried over not getting one of his posters.
Jha’Meia : Hey, hey, hey. You two are the nutbags who introduced me to FF VII!
D’Brah : But I’m not the madcap who spends aallll her time downloading pictures!
Shi’Iana : Hey! What’s wrong with that?
Jha’Meia : You’ve wasted about 7 megabytes on my comp just storing those pictures.
Shi’Iana : Well, that’s different! I downloaded them for you guys!
Jha’Meia : Yeah, sure.
D’Brah : But someone went to the shopping arcade to purposefully find a poster with Sephiroth on it!
Jha’Meia : I do it with every favourite character of mine!
Shi’Iana : Do what?
Jha’Meia : Get posters with their face on it.
Irvine : ( sighs ) I was hopeful. After all, I’m one of your favourite characters.
Jha’Meia : Come now, Irvine, I’m sure we can find some other way to help you. There’re lots of available girls out there.
Irvine : But I want to go with Aeris!
Shi’Iana : Well, you can’t have her.
Laguna #2 : Come now, Shi’Iana, be reasonable.
Laguna #1 : After all, Irvine’s a fine lad with good credentials.
D’Brah : His frigging BIG bullet couldn’t get through Edea’s shield. Sure that’s fine credentials.
Irvine : It was a shield, for heaven’s sake!
Shi’Iana : You told Selphie the two of you were destined for each other.
Irvine : Now, now, let’s not get personal…
Jha’Meia : HAH!
Irvine : Why not I just go on a date with Aeris?
( At that point Aeris comes in )
Aeris : Hey! What’s going on?
Irvine : Aeris! Hey, I was thinki- MMMPH!
Aeris : Jha’Meia, Shi’Iana, why are you covering Irvine’s mouth and twisting his arm behind his back?
Jha’Meia : Nothing personal. Just stopping him from getting his head lopped off.
Aeris : What for?
Laguna #1 : Irvine wanted to ask you out.
D’Brah : ( slaps forehead ) LAGUNA!
Laguna #1 and #2 : Which one?
D’Brah : Whichever! Why’d you have to tell?!
Aeris : Why, Irvine! That’s… very sweet of you! ( smiles brightly )
Jha’Meia : Yeah. Ya think Sephiroth would say the same?
Aeris : ( looks surprised ) What does Sephiroth have to do with this?
Shi’Iana : Irvine, do you have manipulate materia or something?
Irvine : Mm mmpmmpmmph mmmp mmp mph. *
Jha’Meia : ( cupping ear ) What was that?
Laguna #2 : Would you go out with Irvine, Aeris?
D’Brah : Wwwooooooo, Sephiroth’s not going to like this.
Aeris : He doesn’t have to. He’s not my boyfriend or anything.
Jha”Meia : I could bring Zack back for a spell.
Aeris : Whatever for?
Shi’Iana : He’s your boyfriend.
Aeris : But he’s dead.
Shi’Iana : Well, so are you.
Aeris : ( looks hurt )
( Jha’Meia and Shi’Iana release Irvine and go over to apologize to Aeris )
Irvine : ( very quickly before anyone else can shut him up ) Aeriswillyougoouttoamoviethenadinneratarestaurantwithmetomorrownightatsixo’clock?
Everyone else : ( pauses to decipher words )
Jha'Meia : Oh, my.
Shi'Iana : Irvine, you idiot! Now you've gone and done it!
Irvine : But Jha'Meia's the writer!
Jha'Meia : That don't mean I always know what's going to happen next.
Irvine : Too bad. Will you, Aeris?
Aeris : ( ignores others’ protests and smiles ) Sure.
Irvine : YEEEE - HAR! ( throws hat into the air and does a little dance of victory ) I’m going out with Aeris! I’m going out with Aeris! With Aeris! Aeris! And’s she’s all mine!**
Jha’Meia : ( drolly ) THIS is going to be VERY interesting.
Shi’Iana : Ain’t it, though.
Laguna #2 : Someone has to make sure Sephiroth doesn’t find out.
D’Brah : Yeah. I can just imagine him now. “How can you do this to me?” he’ll ask.
Laguna #1 : Not that it matters now.
Jha’Meia : ( lets out low whistle ) I can’t wait till tomorrow evening…
END
*Translation : I sincerely swear I don’t.
**You know the song which goes “it’s raining, it’s pouring… etc.”?
Well, that’s the tune to which it’s sung. Not that it’s important, just
to make it more enjoyable.