(Jha’Meia is sitting at computer, fiddling with her drawings. Shi’Iana is playing FFVII. Deborah is criticizing the not so perfect pictures of Irvine Jaymee is drawing.)
D’Brah : he looks like a girl!! Are you sure you’re drawing Irvine and not Irvina??
Jha’Meia : D’brah, get off my case. I’ve been drawing girls for so long now I can’t draw guys unless I got a guide. Even then, I still make them look like girls. I’m a feminist anyway.
D’Brah: That’s right. I wonder what would happen if Irvine saw this?
Shi’Iana : (still playing the computer) he’d ask for her phone number.
Jha’Meia : Have you killed Sephiroth yet, Shi’Iana?
Shi’Iana : How the heck can I when he keeps on healing himself!
D’Brah : He always does that. Isn’t that cool?
Shi’Iana : When you want to die because of his masamune? Sure it’s cool.
Jha’Meia : Katherina?
Katherina : (popping out of nowhere) Yesss?
Jha’Meia : You miss Sephiroth, don’t you?
Katherina : Sure I do. We had such fun clashing swords.
Jha’Meia : Bring him here.
Katherina : But Sephiroth’s dead, Creator.
D’Brah : No he’s not! Shi’Iana’s halfway killing him! Save him!
Shi’Iana : Whaaaaaat? No fair! Kat, don’t!!
Katherina : Why don’t I help you kill him first, Shi’Iana? Then I’ll bring him back to life.
(Shi’Iana leans back and lets Katherina play the computer, arms crossed. Finally Katherina, fed up with the game-Sephiroth refusing to die, snaps her fingers and wins the game instantly.)
Katherina : (satisfied tone) Now he’s dead.
Shi’Iana : WOOHOO, I WIN AGAIN!!!
Jha’Meia : (not looking up from her drawing) Good. Katherina, bring him back to life and bring him here.
Katherina : Why?
Jha’Meia : Because I’m writing this story, that’s why! Get to it!
Shi’Iana : And bring Vincent along!
(Out of nowhere, Sephiroth materialises out of a puffy cloud.)
Sephiroth : ( looks about imperiously ) Where am I?
Jha’Meia : Guess.
Sephiroth : ( looks about in disgust ) Another ramble.
Katherina : He’s a regular Einstein!
D’Brah : Hey, Katherina, can you bring Laguna here?
Sephiroth : Who is Laguna ??
D’Brah : He’s from FFVIII.
Sephiroth : But I thought this was supposed to be a FFVII ramble?
Jha’Meia : Don’t be selfish, Sephiroth.
Shi’Iana : Someone’s gonna sulk!
Sephiroth : I do not sulk!
Shi’Iana : Do too!
Sephiroth : Do not! And why am I arguing with you??
Shi’Iana : Because you’re a sore loser, that’s why!!
Sephiroth : ( draws forth Masamune ) Take that back.
Shi’Iana : (running away from Sephiroth) sore loser! Sore Loser!!
D’Brah : Shi’Iana! Don’t make him mad!!!
Shi’Iana : And you have to get killed anyway in the game!
Sephiroth : ( Starts after Shi’Iana, who begins running about ) Come here.
Shi’Iana : Nya nya nya!!
Katherina : (lazing on chair ) Creator, I think we need something else. A desperate sex machine?
Jha’Meia : That’s right! Bring one here!
Katherina : (holding up her hand to snap her fingers) One desperate sex machine coming up!
(POOF!)
(Out of nowhere, Carrot Glace of the Sorceror Hunters (Or Bakuretsu
Hunters?) stands in the middle of the room looking stupid as usual. Shi’Iana,
who knows him, screams and runs to hide behind Sephiroth.)
Carrot : (seeing Katherina) WWHHHOOOOAAAAAA !!!! (Runs up to her and kneels at her feet) Beautiful! You’re beautiful!!! Will you go on a date with me?? Please?? Pretty please??
Katherina : Dammit!! I knew this would happen!!! I’m leaving.
Jha’Meia : Wait, Katherina, before you go, please bring someone else to tip the balance back into place.
Sephiroth : (turning around and around) Get from behind me, damn you!
(POOOF!)
(Irvine Kinneas and Marron Glace stand in the middle of the room,
looking confused)
Marron : (sees Carrot) Elder brother?
Jha’Meia : Why two?
Katherina : (shrugging) Considering Carrot’s behaviour, we needed two people to tip back the balance.
Shi’Iana : MARRONNN!!!!!!
Irvine : (Looking at Jha'Meia) hey, don’t I know you?
Jha’Meia : (rolls eyes) Actually, you don’t. (smiles) but you could try.
Marron Glace : I seriously don’t understand what’s going on here.
Shi’Iana : (running to Marron’s arms) Marron! I’m so glad you’re here! Protect me!!
Sephiroth : ( Raises eyebrow ) I didn’t think you’d need protection.
Shi’Iana : Not from you, you brute, HIM!!! (points at Carrot, still fawning over Katherina)
Sephiroth : (turning to look at Carrot) Who the hell is he???
Marron : My elder brother.
Sephiroth : (Incredulous look) Your elder brother???
D’Brah : Oh, my, gosh… WHO IS THAT GUY???
Jha’Meia : Which guy?
D’Brah : (jaw hanging) The one Shi’Iana is hugging.
Jha’Meia : That’s Marron Glace, Carrot’s younger brother. Katherina, thank you, you are dismissed.
Katherina : Oh, thank God! (poofs)
Carrot : (staring dumbly at the chair where Katherina had been sitting) Where’s so gone to? (turns and sees D’Brah) WHHOOOAAAAAA!!!! (runs over to her) Pretty miss! Let’s go on a date!! Please?? Date!!
D’Brah : (staring ashen-face at the sex-crazed man headed towards her) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!
Shi’Iana : (jubilated) Oh, yesss!! (turns to Sephiroth, who grins evilly) Oh, no.
D’Brah : (running away from Carrot) HHHEEEEEEEELLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!
Shi’Iana : (runs up and downs the stairs, Sephiroth close behind until he slips on Cait Sith, who magically appeared out of nowhere due to Shi’Iana’s incessant praying) MARRON!!!
Marron : Yes, Miss?
Shi’Iana : (points at Sephiroth, dragging Cait on his left leg) Help me get rid of him!
Marron : I’m not so sure about being in this ramble…
Irvine : (on his knees chatting to Jaymee) I am!
Shi’Iana : PLEASE!!!!
(Marron holds up Mesatenian card, light shines and blinds Sephiroth)
Sephiroth : What the - ?
Marron : ….. Miss Katherina?
Katherina : Yes, Marron?
Marron : What am I doing here?
Katherina : Oh, you see, you’re supposed to stand around looking handsomely confused. And saving whoever asks for help in escaping Carrot.
Marron : ……
Shi’Iana : (running over to ask into Jaymee’s ear) Does D’Brah know she can ask Marron for help? Have you told her?
Jha’Meia : When she’s being so entertaining being chased by Carrot? Not a chance.
Irvine : So back to what we were chatting about?
Jha’Meia : Oh, yes. And how are Squall and Rinoa doing together?
Sephiroth : ( losing patience… grand-time ) SOMEONE!!!!! I NEVER ASKED TO BE IN THIS RAMBLE ANYWAY!!!!!!
Jha’Meia : But D’Brah would cry buckets if you left.
Sephiroth : (makes sour face) I’ll get you all for this… ( stalks away )
Katherina : Oh, no, we still haven’t finished our last game… By the way, I’ve got some more manipulate materia left. And I’ve got someone to keep Marron company.
Aeris : (pops head in) Hiiieeee!!
Sephiroth : ( stops short at the door and turns ) Wait, didn’t I kill her?
Katherina : Don’t be so rude!
Shi’Iana : (sighs disgustedly) I’m gonna leave the ramble for a short while.
Jha’Meia : Sure. Take the elevator when you’re going down.
Shi’Iana : What d’you mean?
Jha’Meia: Just do it.
(Shi’Iana leaves the room)
Jha’Meia : (turns to Katherina) Is Mr. Loire in the elevator as per the plan?
(Excited scream from outside confirms it)
Jha’Meia : Thank you Katherina.
D’Brah : HELP!!!!!!! (Turns around and smacks Carrot in the face very, very, very hard)
(Carrot falls onto his back. He gets up and spots Aeris, still introducing herself to Marron.)
Carrot : WWWWWHHHHHHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Marron : (sees Carrot dashing madly towards Aeris) Oh no.
Irvine : You know, I’ve barely met him five minutes, and I’m beginning to like that man!
Jha’Meia : Yes. He’s very like you.
Irvine : Is not!
Jha’Meia : Is, too.
Irvine : Is not!!!
Jha’Meia : Prove it.
Irvine : (shuffles feet like a fool, then turns and sees Aeris) Wow! What’s her phone number?
Jha’Meia : See?
Irvine : AM NOT!
Jha’Meia : Have another look at her.
Irvine : I just wanted to know her number!
Jha’Meia : Same damn thing.
Carrot : ( chasing Aeris all over the room ) Date!!! Just one date!! Please go on one date with me!!!!
D’Brah : ( going up to Marron ) Hiieee
Aeries : MARRON!!!!
Marron : ( sighs )
D’Brah : What’s your name?
Marron : Marron Glace. And that is my elder brother Carrot Glace.
D’Brah : What???
Jha’Meia : ( smiles satisfactory grin ) Life can’t get any better than this.
(Shi’Iana stumbles in, arm hooked into Laguna’s, looking so bright and cheerful it makes Jha’Meia sick. Carrot gets kicked and smashes into wall. Marron is wincing.)
Marron : (eyebrow twitching in embarrassment *He does this in the cartoon… I’ve seen it!!*)
Shi’Iana : By the way, Jha, you didn’t specify why Sephiroth hates Katherina so much.
Jha’Meia : (Big grin) She kicked his ass big-time in one of my fanfics, and she has a crush on him.
Aeris : Sephiroth??
Jha’Meia : You should know. You saw it, didn’t you?
Aeris : Why him??
Jha’Meia : ( shrugging ) Sounded like a good thing to do. Why don’t you further your acquaintance with Marron over there?
Aeris : ( blushes )
Shi’Iana : Aeris and Marron?
Jha’Meia : They do look rather cute together, don’t they?
Shi’Iana : … …. (thinks) Yeah, they do. Too bad Marron isn’t interested I girls. (sighs wistfully)
Jha’Meia : I’m getting bored with the guys around here… let’s add some more, shall we?
Shi’Iana : Who?
Jha’Meia : My little brother, of course. Your age, and your size.
Shi’Iana : Oh no! Not -
Jha’Meia : Katherina!
Shi’Iana : You don’t mean-!!
Cho’Hon : (POOF) Whoa!! How did I get here??
Shi’Iana : OH NOOOO!!!
Jha’Meia : Oh, hello, little brother!!
Shi’Iana : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (runs out, dragging Laguna along)
Cho’Hon : What’s with her?
Jha’Meia : She doesn’t like having you in this ramble.
Cho’Hon : What’s a ramble?
Jha’Meia : Lezzee now, we got FFVII, FFVII and Sorceror Hunters…
Cho’Hon : Who’re they?
Jha’Meia : Relax, I’ll tell you as we go along our merry ways…
Cho’Hon : What am I doing here?
Jha’Meia : You’re here to keep me company, so shaddup already!!!