Okay, so it is the month of trick-or-treaters and I should have some snazzy graphics on here like pumpkins and witches and all that stuff. The fact of the matter is taht I hate hate Halloween. So I will suffice and use this orange background and black text and hope you get the idea.
October 10, 2002
Tomorrow I leave for a six hour drive to my old college roommate's wedding. This is a wonderful wonderful occassion. Of all people to get married first out of my roommates, she would have been the last I would have suspected. Now, my first roomie, yeah, I would have picked her. But not the second. But, she went to grad school, fell madly in love and he proposed and now she lives half way across the nation and the wedding is in two days. (thankfully only a couple of states away in her hometown.)
Not a problem. The driving, the getting there, the gift. All taken care of. What is left to be taken care of is me. That is right. Me. Okay, I know all eyes will be on her, because she is the bride and everything, but the last time I saw most of the people that are going to be there was three years ago. Three years ago I was very anorexic. I thought I looked fine then, although when I look at pictures from our get together, I find I was mistaken.
So I am worried of course. What will people think? All of the "Oh my goodness she has gained weight!" thoughts are going through my head that other people will be thinking. (Did that sentence make sense?) I know I shouldn't worry. And I know I look a lot better now than I used to, but I am still so nervous. I shouldn't be. I shouldn't give a damn about what anyone thinks anymore. Really, I shouldn't.
Then why is it so hard?