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TO

The FF[UK] ShOp

All of the Goods seen on this page are available to buy directly from the Freak Factory [UK]. All goods are for sale at the price stated besides them in postal orders! For a brief essay of postal orders click here. If you ever forget how to buy something just remember this simple rhyme:

All the wonderful things in the world,

that I have ever wanted,

a free to all, except for me,

'cause i can pay with postal orders!

Now that we are all completely sure how to buy things, you can start browsing our wide range of quality goods, straight from between the buttocks of the Freak Factory Mother Machine (FfmM), who, for those who are interested........

Enjoy!

Dolls

As of yet the FfmM has only been able to produce one doll. She is called 'Sticky Efflaar':

Sticky Efflar Doll 58p Postal Order

A beautifully crafted doll made of 100% natural wood. This beautiful piece was the first object to pass gently but at a great speed through the FfmM's greasy buttocks. An excellent present for any collector of fine artefacts. Not recomended for children under 4 years of age, if anyone is harmed by this toy then it's their own fault because they should not have played with it!

Wonderfully Exciting Toys

Glass Sherd 43p Postal Order

This magnificent piece of glass was discovered by the FfmM on one of her many mystical adventures in the lands of Ruuummm. It is made of pure glass, and is very fragile.Not recomended for children at any year of age, if anyone is harmed by this toy then it's their own fault because they should not have played with it!