Part 1
By Joanna ([email protected])
Note: This is set 10 months after Sean and Nick first met. This part is just a letter written by Nick to Sean. At this point they are in a motel during their hunt for Nick's forsaken.I hope you all like it. I loved the film so much that I felt it needed to be carried on. I would like to thank Lucy, who wrote all the other Forsaken fics. I don't know her, and have never met her, but I think her writing is absolutely brilliant, If you haven't read them, do. Well, Thanks Lucy, you were the one who inspired me to write this. Keep writing!!! Let me know what you think.
Sean,
I am sitting next to you asleep in this horrible, dirty, run down motel room. I don't know how you do it. I guess you don't have all the worries trudging through your head like I do. You look so peaceful. You have a slight, cheeky smile spread across your face and you keep muttering unrecognisable words, knowing your mind it's probably something nice and dirty. I love watching you sleep, I could spend my whole life doing it.
I want to reach out and touch you, to kiss you, but I can't. Though I long to talk to you one last time, to kiss you one last time, to fuck you one last time, I can't afford to wake you. I can't afford to have you talk me out of what I have to do.I don't have long left. I can feel the changes that my body is making. I'm turning, and quickly. It doesn't hurt as such; it's like a tingle, a buzz, a constant one. It comes and goes, each time staying longer that the last time.From the first time that we kissed, touched, fucked, I knew I loved you. From the moment you pulled up next to me on the highway in that crappy, red car, I knew.
I don't want you to feel responsible for my actions, I don't want you to be upset, please don't cry. I beg you, though I know you will. I know that you love me, and I'm sorry that I was never able to say it back. I saw the pain in your eyes everything I couldn't and I felt like shit because of it. I'm so sorry.I can't risk putting you in danger. I don't know if I could resist you or your blood when I've changed. I don't think I could resist bringing you over. I mean, I can't resist you now. This gives a whole new meaning to the term 'Dark side'! I don't want to hurt you; I don't want to bring you over. I don't want to have to ask you to stake me, that's why I must act now, before it's too late.I want you to be safe and happy. I want you to forgive me for what I'm am going to do to you, for what I am going to put you through. I'm sorry, really sorry. I want you to forget about me. I want you to carry on with your life; forget about vampires, go see you sister, your new brother in law. Go get your job back, they lost a lot of talent when they lost you. I have something to confess. When I told you I hadn't seen the trailer that you put together, I lied. I don't know why I lied, but I did. I just want to say that it was really great, you're very talented.
Since I've met you my life has changed and that isn't just because of the virus. You've given my life meaning. I can't thank you enough for that. We met ten months ago today. Every moment that we've been together has been great, brilliant. The three months apart were pure hell. I am so glad that you found me. I am so in love with you that it scares me, I love you so much that it hurts. I won't forget you, I don't think I could. I will always keep an eye on you, try and guide you away from those blood-sucking bastards. Think of me as your guardian angel. I will wait for you on the other side, unless I am thrown in to the pits of hell. I don't think God thinks too highly of man-on-man action. We will be together again, I promise.
I am still watching you sleep. You just rolled over and have rested your head in my lap, I felt my heart skip a beat. You look so precious. I am stroking your hair, fighting the tears. I want to wake you, I want to tell you that I love you more than anything else in the world, I always have, I always will. I will give up everything to keep you safe. Suicide is a lot easier than walking away, knowing that you are out there somewhere and I can't see you again. There are no regrets after death. Sean, if there was any other way. If there were the slightest chance that I would get better I wouldn't do it. I would leave and find you again when I have ridded the world of my forsaken and me of the virus, but I feel myself changing, I don't have long, I don't want to risk your safety. I can't do that. I wish I could hold you properly. I wish I told you in real words how I feel about you. I wish I had said it out loud, made it official, for everyone to know. I would say:"Sean, I love you. I have done for months. You are the most attractive, funny, kind, and caring guy I have ever met. I want to hold you, never let you go. I would do anything for you. You are my world. Not only do I love you for who you are, but who I am when I'm with you. I just love you. I will forever"I guess that is what I would say. I want you to remember that, it's all true.
I must stop touching you; it's making it too hard. God, what I would give for one more night with you, for one of your award winning smiles, that warm my heart, that saved me from an existence without you. That's what attracted me to you ten months ago. I admit that car did have something to do with it, but the driver was what I was really interested in.As a lay a kiss on your warm forehead and place your head back on the pillow, I regret the circumstances in which I met you, but not for actually meeting you, I could never regret that. I refuse to go regretting anything else. I hope you don't regret me.I must leave you now, I haven't got long. The buzzing has returned. I am finding it hard to move away from you. I want us to be together forever. I am so sorry for not telling you about my parting plans. I have been trying to do this for the past three nights, I just couldn't. I have been trying to hold out for you. I have been trying to spend every second with you, I think you've noticed. I have been trying to hold off the changing process, to fight it, but I can't anymore, It's impossible.Sean, you are the love of my life. I am so sorry that I never told you face to face. Please grant me one last wish: Leave redneck country, get away. Go back to your family, share our stories, then forget them. It's all too screwed up to be stored away in your pretty head.I wish you the best in everything you do. Keep me with youI love you soooo much. Be strong and keep that gorgeous smile.I will always love you.
Nick
xxxxxxxxxx
To be continued...