Part 1
By Stephen ([email protected])
Spoilers: "True Love", "You Had Me at Goodbye", "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang", the real life death of David "Mr. McPhee" Dukes. The events of my story "Prank" are mentioned briefly.
Notes: I heard that David Dukes' death wasn't being written into the DC storyline. But the big reconciliation scene between Jack and his dad in "True Love" was one of the big things that finally hooked me on the show.So this is my attempt at repaying him for that.
The annual Leery Christmas party wound down until all that remained were the Leerys themselves, Joey and Pacey, Gretchen, Jen and Grams, and Jack. Every once in a while, Joey and Pacey would give Gretchen or Dawson an odd look. Jack had no idea what was up with that. It seemed like they had something mildly interesting that would eventually have to be said. But no malice; the one time Dawson caught Pacey's glance, Leery's response was just puzzled curiosity. Apparently Jack's sister's conciliatory words before leaving for Italy had done their work.
That's where Andie and their dad were right now, Italy. Mr. McPhee was planning on spending his time up to the holidays with Andie, then Christmas through New Year's with Jack and Andie's mother. While it felt odd to be so pulled apart over the holidays, Jack's dad assured him they'd do Christmas right up again when he returned in January. And Jack thought that it was pretty romantic that his parents were going to be together both Christmas morning, and as 2001 was rung in. So he wasn't complaining.
"Jack," Gale Leery broke his reverie, calling from the kitchen. "Sorry to interrupt, but Andie's on the phone for you." McPhee looked at her, puzzled.
"She called here?"
"I guess when Gretchen said she'd call everybody, she meant everybody." Gale smiled. "You'll have to speak up, though. She's very quiet; must be a bad connection." Jack took the phone, and Mrs. Leery returned to the
living room.
"Hey, sis."
"Jack," Andie breathed. "I've been calling everywhere for you." Jack recognized the anxiety in his sister's voice immediately. This was no bad connection; something was bothering her.
"Andie, what's wrong?"
"It's dad," she sniffled. She sounded like she was about to fall apart. And Jack couldn't imagine why.
"What about dad?"
"He.... Jack, Dad had a heart attack a few hours ago."
There are moments in your life where you're standing at a crossroads, unable to see which way to go. And then there are the moments when you can see everything. You can see your future, see yourself making every step with utter certainty. Because as unprepared as you are, you do know what you're doing. You've seen it coming. Jack was right there, right then. And he knew he wasn't ready. He wanted to turn back. Stop it. He wasn't ready.
"But he's okay, right?" Jack asked, his blood chilling. His body going numb.
"Jack, he-- God...," Andie whimpered.
"DAD'S OKAY, RIGHT! ANDIE?!" Jack shouted back. His dad had to be okay. Because he wasn't going where he was going. And he was just panicked enough to try to bully a lie out of his own sister. But Andie wasn't strong enough to play along.
"He's dead", she shrieked. "Oh, god, Jack. He's dead." Andie started crying full out, and Jack was immediately sorry for his outburst. It was a strange feeling, like he was split in half. One half went into protective, big brother mode. Apologizing, comforting, a rock. Everything he was supposed to be under the circumstances.
The other half curled up into a ball and cried long after the others came looking for him.
Jen had been crying continuously for the last three days. Not making a scene; she'd never want Jack to feel like he needed to comfort her, too. She was the one there for him. Making sure he ate and slept. Respecting
his silence. Listening to him tell the same good memories over and over again, because there were just too damn few of them. And all the while, tears of sympathetic agony pouring down her face. She'd long since
forgotten they were there. But now she was crying, and she knew it. Saying goodbye to Jack. In front
of a train headed to New York. And knowing with everything in her that it was a mistake.
"I'm telling you," she said. "I don't need to pack. And if they don't like me missing the school, screw 'em." Jack smiled, and Lindley continued.
"It's not like Andie won't be happy to see me. I think."
"She would," Jack assured her. "But I'm going to be there. I can take care of her."
"And what about you?" Jen asked. "You need to start being more selfish, Jack McPhee." He laughed. It was a strange laugh, like some weight that was tied to him. Dragging him off the edge of a cliff. Jack pulled Jen
into a tight embrace.
"Don't worry. I'm more than capable of being selfish," he told her with that same dazed humor. "Want to know a secret? This trip, the whole thing is me being selfish. I mean, you'd never let me go alone, would you? Going
to New York, to my dad's sister's. ...Going to his funeral, it just wouldn't be believable if you weren't there. It wouldn't be real--" His voice cracked, and he sobbed. But just the once. He didn't want to go there. And Jen, using her best friend veto power, decided to let him hang back. Just a little while longer.
"You're right. Completely unbelievable." She smiled. "Have fun, Jack. Don't have any bad dreams about funerals or anything, all right?"
"Don't have any bad dreams about having sex with me, all right?" he quipped back.
She let him go. Still a few more hours until he got there.
Andie was waiting for him in NYC, their aunt Teresa hovered behind her. Jack didn't want to get off the train. His father's death stood right at the platform, the future behind it. Teresa glared at Jack. Not surprising.
She'd never come around like his dad had. Jack disgusted her. And the second the funeral was over....
But it was time to go, to leave that vantage point on the road. Live with what he'd been seeing all week.
"Jack."
Andie had been holding it all in while she'd been waiting. Now, secure in her brother's arms, she wept freely. They both did, clinging to each other. Saying nothing. There wasn't a word needed.
Pushy Aunt Teresa broke up the scene far sooner than she needed to. She made small talk. Asked Jack about his trip, his luggage, and his health. And seemed genuinely disappointed that his responses weren't miserable, lost, and dying of AIDS. But he wasn't in the mood to spar with his aunt. Jack just wanted to get settled in, and see how his mother was doing. But his aunt verbally barred the way.
"I don't think you should see her."
"Excuse me?" Jack replied, incredulously. "You can't stop me from seeing my mother." The wall he built when he was having trouble with his dad automatically snapped up. And Jack unwillingly suited up again, to once more go into combat with a member of his family.
"I just don't think she needs a visit from you, right now," Teresa said unapologetically. "Not on top of everything else."
"Because it would be too much of a burden for her to have to visit with her perverted son on top of everything else," Jack concluded bitterly.
"Jack," Andie winced.
"You know, I thought you could at least control yourself until after the funeral. I guess I was wrong," Jack spat. He turned to his sister for support, only to see her hanging back. Uncertainty radiated out of her. "Andie. Don't tell me you agree with her."
"Of course not," Andie insisted unhappily. "But Jack. I don't think you need a visit from her. Not on top of everything else."
"What are you talking about?" Jack asked, puzzled.
"Mom didn't take it too well when Aunt Teresa told her about Dad," his sister replied, her sharp glance at their aunt revealing just what Andie thought of that decision. Jack pictured his delicate, broken mother. Remembered just how far she fell after Jack and Andie's brother had died. And his lithe body filled with rage. How dare she.
"You didn't have any right to tell her that," he told Teresa with a snarl.
"Not without consulting us."
"Your father asked me to look after your mother if anything happened to him," Teresa snapped back. "So you see, I had every right to tell her whatI thought was best."
"Aunt Teresa, you're probably ready to clear out of here," Andie noted, with that perky, deferential venom she'd perfected. "You can get the car if you want. We've got Jack's stuff handled."
"All right," Teresa replied, sounding relieved (probably at not having to handle Jack's belongings). "But don't take too long. With resigned frustration, Andie watched her aunt stalking off. Behind her, she could almost hear Jack's emotional shields losing power and failing. She turned back to see him watching after Teresa, dejectedly.
"Well, that went just great," he sighed. Then, with concern and a fear he couldn't quite conceal: "Andie, are you okay?"
"I'm not seeing dead people, if that's what you mean." She smiled weakly. "I'm not going to lose my mind, and.... Once mom's had a chance to- forget, again, things will even out there. Aunt Teresa isn't going to stop you from seeing her. I'm not letting it happen." Jack held her tightly.
"Don't leave me, Andie," Jack sniffled. "I need you."
"I won't," she promised. "You'll always have me hanging around somewhere. And you'll always have mom." Jack held Andie for a long time; tried to believe her. All the while wondering what he'd say to his mother when he finally saw her.
Because somehow he knew this visit would be the last time he'd ever see her.