*******

Soft, delicate lips pressed gently against his own caused Jack to open his eyes slowly. Blue eyes, deep pools of sparkling water, gazed back at him. He smiled slowly at the pale boy with curly blonde hair beside him, propped up on one elbow, staring down at him. Taking in the boy�s lean body with subtle muscle definition, his tiny elfin nose adorned with a splash of freckles, his smooth pink lips, his playful grin, Jack could not help but place his hand behind the boy�s neck and pull him in for another kiss, this time deeper and longer.

The boy slumped back down on the pillow beside Jack, cuddling into the warmth of his lover and kissed his neck gently. �What time does the flight get in?�

�Noon.�

�Mmm- two hours.�

�I want to be there early.�

�Okay.�

Jack turned on his side to face the boy. �You�re still going to come with me, right?�

He sighed. �Yes, Jack- for the last time, yes I am going to come with you.�

�Okay. Just don�t forget, my father might be a little cold towards you-�

�I know.�

�-but don�t let it get you down- I think he�ll really like you once he gets to know you-�

�I know!�

�I�m sorry, Shane, I�m just, you know, nervous about all this.�

Shane smiled and stroked Jack�s cheek as he spoke softly. �I know. But you don�t have to be. I�m ready for this and so are you. Just relax.�

�Yeah.�

Jack rolled onto his stomach as Shane began to gently rub his neck and shoulders. He repositioned himself so that he was straddling Jack as he continued to massage. �God you�re tense.�

�We should really do something about that ��

�And what exactly did you have in mind?� Shane loved to tease him.

Jack shrugged and rolled his eyes. �You�ve got a pretty good imagination, what d�you think?�

�I hear yoga is very relaxing.�

Jack growled and flipped himself over as he plunged up towards Shane, gently nibbling along his neck, shoulder, down to his right nipple. Shane relaxed and breathed deeply as he dropped his coy game and gave in to the caress of his boyfriend.

*******

Jack allowed his mind to wander as he and Shane rode silently in their Jeep, Jack at the wheel. It was only four months ago that he had been on the phone with his father, letting him know that he was about to move in with Shane �

�I didn�t even know you had a boyfriend,� his father said.

�I guess I just never mentioned it.�

�You never tell me anything anymore.�

�It�s my life, dad, I don�t have to tell you everything about it.�

His father sighed. �What�s his name?�

�Shane.�

�How long have you been � together?�

�About a year.�

�I see. And what about Jen? She won�t miss your help with her grandmother?�

�Grams is doing really well now, dad. She�s actually been doing well for a while. They�re really happy for Shane and me- they�ve been very supportive of our decision to move in together.�

�Ah- um, I see. What did you say he did?�

�He�s still a student.�

�So you�re planning on living on your salary from Java Beat alone?� Jack had recently become the manager of the campus caf� he had been working at for about two years. He had jumped at the opportunity rather than continuing in his studies which seemed to be bringing him nowhere.

�Well, he works part-time at a bookstore and his parents send him a bit of money every month. We�ve worked it out and money really isn�t an issue.�

�His parents send him money? How old is this Shane?�

Jack sighed, decided he might as well admit the truth, and get the inevitable over with. �Seventeen.�

For what seemed like an eternity, Jack could hear nothing on the other end of the line but his father�s heavy breathing. He waited.

�Jack,� his father finally said, �he is six years younger than you.�

�Yeah, we�re both aware of that and it�s really not an issue.� He continued quickly, before his father could cut in. �Look, it may seem like a lot but we�ve worked past that and it�s fine. I mean, a few years from now our age difference won�t matter at all.�

�Jack, he is a minor! Do you realize what you are getting into?�

�Not getting into, dad, I�m already in it. We�ve been dating for a year and his age hasn�t been a problem so far and it will not ever be a problem.�

�He�s still in high school I suppose.�

�Yeah- he�s a senior.�

�And his parents are fine with the fact that their seventeen-year-old son is moving in with a twenty-three-year-old man with whom he is involved sexually.�

�For chrissakes dad! You know, I don�t even know why I bothered to call you- I knew you wouldn�t understand. And you want to know what else? His parents are very supportive of our relationship- they are amazing people. They trust me and know that I am not taking advantage of their son; they know that I make their son happy and that�s all that matters to them. That�s apparently not the case with you.�

�Jack, of course I want you to be happy! I am just concerned about you. If anything were to happen, you would be completely liable as-�

�Stop! Stop right there! We are both aware of the fact that your attitude towards this whole situation has nothing to do with the age difference. It wouldn�t matter if he was closer to my age, you would still find some reason to give me shit about him. You only support me in my decisions when they are the decisions you want me to be making!�

�Jack- that�s not true-�

�Yes, of course it is! You need to understand that I am an adult now and I know what I�m doing. I did not call for your blessing, I called because I thought you might appreciate knowing what your son is up to but I shouldn�t have bothered.�

�Jack ��

�Don�t- don�t even start. Look, you need to deal with the fact that I am never going to be what you want me to be. I will never go back to school, I will never follow in the footsteps of your career, and I will never marry a beautiful woman and give you grandchildren. This is my life: I am the manager of a successful caf�, I quit university after a year, I am gay and in love with a seventeen-year-old boy and we are about to move in together whether you like it or not. I don�t care if I disappoint you, I don�t care if I disgust you because this is my life and I�m pretty happy with it. I just wanted to give you the chance to bond with the last surviving member of your family other than yourself but I guess I was pretty stupid in thinking that you would actually want to. Sorry I wasted your time.�

And with that, he�d hung up. It was three months before he received a call from his father, a call that seemed almost too good to be true. His father had apologized, admitted how right Jack had been about everything and asked if it was too late to be allowed back into the life of his last remaining link with what once was his family. When he had asked, rather stiffly, if he could meet Shane, Jack was not sure of his father�s sincerity. Was he just asking because he felt it was an obligation or because he really wanted to? Should he expose Shane to the man who had already caused him so much anguish or should he just tell his father that he would rather he did not meet Shane? The thought of his father finally accepting his life, of approving of the person he loved, of being his father again had finally overpowered his initial doubts. And so here he was, only twenty-minutes away from letting the last of his broken family back into his life.

*******

As he and Shane walked through the sliding doors of the airport, Jack reached out and took Shane�s hand. He did not care what anyone thought, he needed physical contact. Shane gave him a light squeeze.

�Chill.�

Jack glanced over at him and smiled. �Sure.�

Shane sighed as Jack steered them toward the Arrivals section of the airport. �Fine, don�t chill. Be tense and stressed and freak out. Go ahead, have an aneurysm.�

At Jack�s sharp intake of breath, Shane immediately regretted his words. �Oh, fuck, Jack, I�m sorry ��

Jack sighed then laughed quietly. �Forget it, it�s okay- you know I love your dark sense of humor.�

�Yeah, that�s me, the Black Clown.�

Jack laughed loudly now as Shane grinned and rolled his eyes. Jack could not help but pull his boyfriend to his chest and kiss the mop of golden ringlets on the top of his head, which came only to his nose. They found a couple empty seats and sat together as they awaited the pending flight.

Glancing up at the digitized board across the room, Jack saw that his father�s flight appeared to be on time- flight #112, Austin to New York, scheduled to arrive at 12:00. He breathed deeply and wrapped an arm around Shane�s shoulder, convincing himself that everything would be fine, that this was the start to a new and better relationship with his father. His brother, sister, and mother were long gone but he knew that his father was still here and he needed to take advantage of that while he still could. He at least needed to try to really have a family again, even if all that remained of it was his father and himself. It was better than nothing.

*******

At twelve sharp, Jack was wrenched sharply from his daydreaming to the sound of a crackling voice on a PA system.

�Would all those waiting for passengers on flight #112, Austin to New York, please go to room 234 in the administration wing on the second floor? Room 234 for those waiting for flight #112 ��

Shane lifted his head from Jack�s shoulder and frowned as he stared at the perplexed expression on Jack�s face. �That�s your dad�s flight, isn�t it?�

�Yeah ��

�I guess we�d better go ��

�Okay.�

The room they had been guided to looked almost like a classroom only instead of rows of desks, there were rows of chairs and instead of a desk at the front of the room, there was a podium with a microphone. The room had no windows and was dimly lit. A man in a suit stood at the front talking with a man and a woman who appeared from their attire to be flight attendants. The rest of the room was slowly filling with people who spoke in urgent and hushed voices. For some reason, it seemed wrong to speak loudly in the tense environment.

Jack and Shane quietly took a couple seats at the back of the room and watched as the rest of the seats filled up. By the time people had stopped coming in, all of the seats were filled and people stood in every available spot the room had to offer.

�Could I have your attention please?� The man in the suit had stepped up to the podium and now spoke into the microphone.

It took him very little time to quiet the room and gain the undivided attention of everyone in it.

�Thank you. My name is Jonathon Parker and I am the president at John F. Kennedy Airport. I am afraid that I have some very tragic news to give you today.� There was a universal intake of breath as the initial fears of everyone in the room appeared to already be confirmed. �Despite all of the precautions US Airlines takes before each of its planes get into the air, flight #112 suffered a rare and fatal complication which resulted in engine failure.� Jonathon Parker was sweating profusely and had to clear his throat before he continued. �I regret to inform you all that flight #112 went down in Pennsylvania. It descended nose first and because of the disastrous results a crash of this fashion has, there were no survivors of this tragic misfortune. My regrets to you all.�

Jack did not hear Jonathon Banks as he continued about councilors that the airline had made available for those who required it and other such trivial things. It was as if pillows had been clamped over his ears, muting outside noises in the room. He could not look at anything, focus on anything. He felt dizzy and confused. He could not comprehend the thoughts flying through his mind. He was thinking, he was sure of that, but about what? About the news he had just received but what was it? What just happened?

In a world far away, Shane wrapped his arm around Jack and slowly guided the shaking man out of the room, through a jumble of movement and noise and into the quiet privacy of the Jeep outside. As Shane started the Jeep and they drove home, one thought finally became very clear in Jack�s mind as he closed his eyes: My father is dead.

*******

To be continued �