The address that was on the letter for the hearing turned out to be for a non existant building. I spent close to an hour walking around in the heat and humidity looking in vain for a building that doesnt exist. Even the helpful people that I asked along the way seemed perplexed as to what I was looking for. I finally went back to my car and called the case officer who's name was on the letter to inform him that it didnt look like I would be there since I cant find the building. I explicitly explained where I was sitting so he wouldnt think that I was just blowing off the appearance altogether. As I was then pulling out of the parking lot, I saw my daughter and this other gentleman coming towards my car. They told me about the screw up of the address on the letter and that I was basically parked within 40 yards of the building from the start. I went back and parked. Walked to the building and went upstairs to wait for the hearing to be called while sweating profusely. When it was finally called we went in, myself, my ex wife, my daughter, my ex's baby, the CYS people and two others that I never learned their names.
The hearing officer for the courts basically just wanted to know what CYS was going about my daughter not attending school and what her plans were. The told her that job corps was considered, but she had cooled towards it recently and was now more interested in the Intermediate Unit, to at least get her enough schooling in order to receive her GED. They also reiterated their desire to have my daughter evaluated by a psychiatrist for medications if needed. We were there for a total of 10 minutes. When the hearing officer said that there will be a 30 day check up to see what has been accomplished towards those goals we were all excused.
In the hallways I was approached by the person in charge of CYS in this matter and asked me about my availability to attend any counseling sessions. At which point my ex broke in and announced loudly, that I am welcome in her house, but no one is going to my place because she doesnt want anyone talking to my current wife without her there. She also went on about how my wife attacked my daughter a little over a month ago. For the record, my wife did not attack my daughter. We returned from the mountains and my daughter was trying to dictate to us where my son was going. When my wife tried to explain to her that my daughter doesnt call the shots in the house, my daughter attacked my wife, ripping at her hair and neck until I seperated them. I bit my tongue very hard because I didn't want to cause a scene or an argument here. I know the reasons why she doesnt want anyone to talk to my wife without her is because then the other side of the stories would come out rather then just the side that my ex wants people to hear.
My ex has made my life miserable. After we had been seperated for quite awhile, she was living with another guy to which she had a baby. One morning after working all night I was at the local Wal Mart getting myself something to make breakfast and I ran into a friend of mine from high school that just returned to the area after living in L A for a few years. I suggested that we go out for breakfast since I was hungry and we could get caught up while we ate. She agreed so we left in my car and drove to the local family style restaurant. We entered and as we were being shown to our table, we walked past a table where I could see my kids sitting and suddenly my stomach dropped because I realized that meant my ex was there. No sooner had our butts hit the seats then I heard my ex start wailing in the restaurant and she then got up and came over to where we were sitting and starting getting beligerent towards both of us and louder and louder about how she was with my kids and how could I be out with another girl. She evidently forgot that she was there with her livein boyfriend and their baby as well while I was just there with an old friend. We just got up and left rather then continue to listen to her mouth. I drove her back to her car and I went to my mother's house to get some sleep before work that night. My ex ended up showing up there and kicking my car which is how I got the dent on my rear driver's side.
I recounted that tale to demonstrate that my ex doesnt rationalize things the way that most normal people do. We were seperated, divorce papers were filed, she had another baby to a guy she was living with and, in fact, was out with him, but didnt believe that I could be entitled to taking a friend out that I hadnt seen in years for a bite to eat. That same kind of mindset still exists in her to this date. If my son goes anywhere with my wife and I and enjoys himself, she tries to make him feel guiltly for having a good time without her being there. If my wife does anything nice for or with him, she gets mad constantly yammering that she is not his mother. Its very hard to try to get a person like that see reality as the rest of the world does. My wife only has her daughter from early June to early August each summer visiting us. She wanted to get photos taken of her daughter and her before she had to return home in a few weeks. She took her daughter and my son to get the pictures done. My ex happened to be there along with the daughter who was the reason for the hearing. My ex started yelling in Wal Mart about what does my wife think that she is doing? That my son is not her son and she shouldnt be doing that. Then my daughter began yelling loudly a lot of stuff that I will not recount here, but suffice it say that it wasnt complimentary.
This is the way that my ex and my daughter respond to things in life that they dont agree with, beligerent behavior or physical threats. This is the reason that they dont want to have any counserlors meet with my wife in private, and they have stated plainly that they dont want my wife at their place. Basically, they dont want my wife involved because in their minds, she isnt a part of the family. When the truth is, my wife is the one person that knows best how they really act and behave. I wish my ex would grow up and stop acting so asinine. I know that the odds of that happening however are very slim based on past behavior.
I honestly dont wish ill towards anyone. Its generally not in my nature and I view that type of vengeful behavior as being wasteful of my time and energy. I just wish that she would leave me and my wife alone, period. I have tried to be nice in the past and that generosity was taken full advantage of. Now when I say no because my pays are garnished for my daughter's care, she goes nuts because instead of trying to better her own standing to provide for herself, she would rather continue on others to make her ends meet. After a while it gets to be really, really old.
Sorry about the rambling nature of this entry. Just something that has been gnawing at me for awhile I'd rather vent this way then any other.