Early in May I had a response from someone that I had never seen on the site before. After a few short messages it turned out that it was a room mate who had setup an account for her friend in an attempt for her get out and enjoy life a little bit. The room mate that set up the profile was nameed Melissa and the young lady I ended up writing to was Jennifer. The more that Jen and I would exchange emails back and forth I could really detect a kindred spirit in many ways. She also made an immediate impact on me. When I thought of her the over riding immage was of a very gentle soul which was something a person doesnt run into much anymore. She told me that she has been dating a pilot in the Air Force for roughly six years. She believed that she loved him even though in her mind it wasnt what she wanted in a relationship. She remained faithful to him during his long stints away from her. I told her about my first marriage and why I did the things that I did and how it continued to degrade until we had to seperate for our own sanity. She had a degree and worked as a psychological counselor. She saw a lot of what I went through in her own life at that point and she began to have second thoughts about her relationship with this person. I felt badly for her and I didnt want to be the cause of the end of any relationship that she was in. She wrote back that she wasnt implying that she was going to leave him for me, only that my story and the more that I told her about myself made her realize that he wasnt really what she wanted in a husband or boyfriend.
We began chatting on instant messenger, her in Phoenix, Az and me in Pittsburgh, Pa. We talked about the things that we both thought were most important in life to us. In a very short time, we felt as if we had known each other our entire lives and we were incredibly comfortable talking to each other as well about anything. I had managed to get a picture of myself scanned in and sent to her, but she said that she hated getting pictures taken of her, so she didnt have any to send. It didnt matter to me, I just enjoyed talking to her.
Her 'boyfriend' then came to town and wanted to take her out to Las Vegas to get married. Jen began to have second thoughts of her relationship with him, so she tried to talk him out it. He seemed rather insistent and had her stuff packed for her when she came home from work. She finally managed to persuade him that at least for the time being she needed a little space to think about what she wanted. He was upset and made her physically scared of him, but he finally left. A few days later, when Jen's room mate was out, he came back on the pretext to get someting that he left behind. When Jen cracked the door, he burst in and he started beating on her. While she was still dazed and disoriented he then raped her as well and then left. She couldnt believe what had just happened to her. When her room mate came home, she refused to go the hospitial to get checked, but she did call his commanding officer to report what had happened. She had hoped that he had managed to get his anger out of his system now and that would be the end of it. It turned out that she became pregnant from the rape and developed some pretty bad morning sickness. Her room mate believed the morning illness was because of the beating and continued to urge her to get checked out thoroughly. I remember out online chats during this time very vividly. She felt like she was suddenly on display in front of her friends there. That they were all watching her waiting for her to have a sudden breakdown and they all tried to do everything they could for her which made her feel like an invalid. I told her to just hang in there it will all pass in time and I would talk to her online on Memorial Day from over at my parent's house.
Memorial Day came and I sat up in my brother's room waiting for her to come online to talk, but she never did. I sent her an email to say I hope she was having a nice holiday and I went home. At this time, I had no computer at home or phone service because of the divorce so I had no way to contact her directly. Late that night when I went to work and checked my email, I found numerous frantic messages from her room mate. Her room mate and a few friends went out for the holiday, but Jen stayed behind because she wasnt feeling too well. When they returned, they found the door busted open and then found Jen laying in a heap bloodied and bruised from head to toe. They immediately got an ambulance and rushed her to the hospital. She was placed on life support and not given good odds to survive. She had swelling on her brain and her beating was so bad that there were actual fist prints on her bruised body. She lived through the night and eventually regained conciousness which amazed the doctors. No, she couldnt recall anything at all about the attack, her mind had mercifully blocked those memories from returning. Her room mate took Jen's laptop to the hospital when she was transferred to a room and we continued to chat by my typing and her room mate reading my text and then typing in Jen's replies since her eyesight had been effected. Throughout this entire time what I noticed most about her was that she never, ever complained about what happened to her. She didnt want any kind of revenge and she didnt want anyone to feel sorry for her either. This was someone that truly lived the Golden Rule as a way of life. I dont know if it was a return of my White Knight Syndrome or what, but I found myself falling heavily for her and I had never seen her face or heard her voice yet. Her room mate gave me her cell phone number and I went out and bought a number of phone cards. I can remember the first time that I heard her voice on the phone, she sounded so frail to me, but as soon as I told her who it was I could 'hear' the smile on her face and in her voice. Over the next few weeks we spent as much time in touch as her tests and my work schedules would allow. She wasnt getting any better, but I found myself wanting to spend more and more time with her. She managed to send me a card for my birthday that her room mate had picked out along with a CD of our favorite jazz artist that we both liked, Pat Metheny. When I got them in the mail, I couldnt believe that she was more concerned about making sure that I got something for my birthday while she was in such bad shape halfway across the country. It was right at this time though that things really began to change and not for the better.......