Its strange how looking back at your parents over the years, how you can see much of them in your own behavior. I dont know how much of it is environmental, from being around them so much or just hereditary. My dad is a nice guy. I have only seen him get really angry and upset to the point of swearing once in my life. Unfortunately, it was directed at me, but I will get into that in a later post. He is generally very easy going, somewhat on the quiet side with a very dry sense of humor. He believes in putting away for a rainy day and doing as many things for yourself as you can realistically. He has always been very giving of his time and his love as he could be growing up. He is also a world class procrastinator, which I seem to have inherited from him as well. If we ever had to be anywhere at a certain time, we would tell him that we had to be there at least 45 minutes to an hour before we were actually do. That way, we were assured to arrive at least reasonably on time. He worked for Westinghouse Electric in the plant that George Westinghouse himself started. As the economy started to sour and jobs were being cut there, he still managed to hang on to his employment. He was one of the last groups of people there when they relocated the plant to the Carolinas. At the time I had no idea what he might have been going through never knowing just what day might be his last there. Now in my present job as a help desk analyst, I have survived three rounds of layoffs at my own company in the last year and a half and I similarly dont know how many days I might have left as well. Its a rather disquieting feeling knowing that you are depended on by your family to provide as best as you can for them, but not sure what your own future holds. I do give him credit in that he never let us know that he was concerned about it. We never had to worry about our needs going unfulfilled and he took care of a number of our wants along the way as well. We were basically your average middle american family and I wouldnt have wanted it any other way. We were taught that if you wanted something, you worked towards it. That way hopefully, it means more to you then if its just handed to you. All in all, he is a quiet man who really believes that you reap what you sow. He can also be more then a bit stubborn, which is another trait of his I seem to have inherited as well. (ask my wife about it EMAIL HER )
If my dad was the foundation that we built the family on, my mother was the glue that held us together. She didnt work, so she got to bear the brunt of four boys ranging from early teens to infant. It wasnt until recently when I was looking back at what it was like growing up that I realized what a thankless job it is to be a parent. Often times a parent will bypass something for themselves to make sure that their kids are taken care of. My mom never failed to have a home cooked dinner ready and waiting to be served when my dad came in the door. We very seldom ate out (I dont believe that it was because of potential behavior problems) and I wouldnt have wanted it any other way. Mom was the referee, the family doctor, cook, chauffuer and homework warden all rolled into one. If any of us veered too far off of what was deemed acceptable, she had no problem grabbing the wooden cooking spoon and letting us know of our trangressions. Mom made sure to attend any and all of our school functions and performances. She made sure that the kids that we hung around with werent going to lead us into a juvenile detention home somewhere. Yes, she definitely worked as hard as my dad did day in and day out, but without any pay. She encouraged each of us to pursue our interests as we grew from scouts to band and from hockey to writing we were never discouraged.
I am fortunate and glad that I still have both of my parents and that they are still married going on 39 years now. They did something right in that I am reasonably successful in what I do for a living. My closest brother in age is married happily and teaches math at the high school level. My next brother in line is getting married later in 2003 and is the editor of a weekly newspaper and has won numerous statewide and national awards for his writing. My last brother.....the one that I mentioned as the topic of this post, well, he just turned 22 last October. He is still in school trying to figure out exactly wants to do with his life. He wears a baseball hat most of the time because the one thing that he seems to have inherited from my dad is his hairline. (or is that 'lack of hairline'?)
Oh well, I guess three out of four isnt a bad average when parenting and proof that you can only do so much, but ultimately its up to the kids themselves to make something of their lives. Your parents can make sacrifices for you and point you in the right direction. They can give you help and advice until they are blue in the face. Ultimately, its up to you though to take of those ingredients and make something out of yourself that not only they could be proud of, but you can be proud of too.